O.K here is me right now, I´m the culprit. I will admit that in an open forum, I prefer to post this picture of me rather than some cool mugshoot of me. Which I have one by the way, not me exactly, but the police. I actually look pretty nice on it, the seargent actually showed it to me. But that´s an other story for next time.
Here is what I have to deal with every day And that is not a piece of chocolate.Like one of these, there are during the day approximately stored away around the garden eight of them. And they are not in the same area, one is here and the other one is there. Fucking dogs couldn´t they shit in one place so I don´t have to move with my fucked up back from point A to a long point B and then to C and on we go until we get to the letter H. So they are all scattered around the garden, it´s a beautiful garden but it´s big. I have to get the rake and then a dust pin, and put every shit in the dust pin. Moving slowly agonizing by my back and suffering the odore these shit´s provide as a way to pollute our precious earth. Then I have to take them to a specific place we have in the garden where all the shit is stored. And believe me it´s higher than Mount Everest that pile of shit. Then you grab a shovel and put all the shit into a huge plastic bag. Then you throw it away to the neighbourhoods dogs shitting container. Or you burn it, which is not legal but fuck it, that´s what I do.
So today, after all this agony I decided why move so much, why walk so many miles from shit to shit so I can gently put them in place where ALL the shit is stored. Screw it, I put three shits in the dust pin and I threw it over the fence to my neighbours house that was much closer than the shit storage room.
My neighbour has two tennage girls and one teenage boy. And I´m quite certain all three are the encarnation of the devil. They put the music loud up until 2 a.m, they bring their friends and scream until the sun rises, and he also has two other fucking annoying dogs that don´t stop barking. O.K my dogs can be annoying with their unhuman shit´s and farts, but they don´t bark until they blow out your ear drums. Plus he´s a dickhead, always poking his stupid face over the fence to see what the fuck I don´t know what he wants to see. It´s only me outside doing the garden, cleaning shits, there are no hot chicks here so what is his fascination with pocking his stupid little head over the fence….I don´t know.
So what I did, as said before, I threw all three shits over the fence to him. He eventually wasn´t very far away because ten seconds later I hear him scream my name. We already have gotten into screaming matches a couple of times, one in which I told him if he didn´t put the music down(it was 2a.m on a workday) I would jump the fence and beat the shit out of him. That did quiet him down. So he comes out saying “Excuse me!” my response “You´re excused”. He asks me why I threw the shit´s over the fence to his property, and I told him the truth. How dare he accuse me of such an awful thing, I never would do that. You have two dogs, don´t you? Tell your dogs to not shit so much you idiot. Screwby.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses, and beware of dog shits.