WARNING: Masturbation is not the name of creation!

Yo! dude, you know what you´re doing? Do you realise it at least? That´s totally but tooootally not the way to go. You´re killing babies here!

When I become the first Spanish-American tanned cool president of the U.S I´m going to outlaw masturbation. It´s a serious issue we have to address as a society. Scratch that shit, as humanity we have to address it. I guess the humanity part of the address will be only for men, sorry woman, you´re exclude…as always from important issues like this.

We as men are shooting those little sperms into the towel, on the floor, some nut job into the closet or the ceiling. Maybe is just me those last two cases. What can I say, women have told me I spray and pray, like a hose watering the flowers. I´m strange. I´m disgusting myself, even making strange faces to myself as I´m writing this. Coming back to the point, no punt intended over there by the way, so that little and in other cases not so little white cream that comes out of our button should go to a better destination, a.k.a vagina.

So when I become the first cool tanned Spanish-American president I´ll pass a law banning masturbation and in that law it will require that every men that has an “urge” at any time, any place and if a woman is next to him, they will be forced to have intercourse with each other. I don´t care how he or she looks like, fat, pimples, bald and maybe if woman you get lucky and have Brad Pitt getting the “urge” when he passes next to you…..well then, have fun.

This is the only way to keep our future going, this is the way for prosperity! So help me God.


P.S. I approve this message.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses, happy holidays.


  1. Thanks for the smile. I read this while I was in the doctor’s office waiting room.

    I do worry about the human race if we are creating humans based on location of a guy to a girl. Scares me a little but I guess it can’t be any worse than, it is now!!

    1. I think I replied earlier….getting confuse with these internet caffes computers, I can´t get into the comments section sometimes, others I can, other´s I cant hit the like button or comment, other times I can…see, I´m going mad here! ahahhaha

  2. Charly Priest 🙂 ………no one can blame you for being shy….can they?
    First of all: I was having lunch when I read this….and I didn’t expect all the details…..ha,ha,ha

    Second, If I shall pull you in a wheelchair, I’m going to strap a belt around you, and if you get in an urge, you better tell me and I find someone to roll you and the chair over to….but you better ask the lady for permission first…then I maybe vote for you as a president 🙂

    And third but not least . I wish you the best 2014, with a lot of success in every area in your life!

    1. Forget about strappin me into a wheel chair, I can get myself out of handcuffs, so It´ll be easy a little strap. I think I suffer from a condition called “shameless”. Is there treatmeant for that….probably not, I´m a lost case.
      Love ya Read ya.

      1. 🙂 A great writer are a shameless writer with a core.I think you fit in perfectly in that category. That’s why you’re so appreciated by so many.
        There are enough of people doing the polite talk, there are enough of people doing the small talk. So keep on being you.
        Can’t wait to hear your inauguration speech……….

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