I am Doctor Love. Or just girls think of me as fast food. I´m easy to get, tastes´s good for a little while, and easy to dispose off. Anyways, I thought I should share my experiences to my fellow humans. We´re all going to die, so we might as well have some fun while we are still standing up and not lying down in some coffin.
1) Get a handjob in the back of a cop car.
2) Have sex inside an old medieval church with the pastors daughter.(Don´t worry God will forgive you if you pray 10000 times a day)
3) Get a handjob while you are traveling on the train.
4)Get a handjob while you are traveling on the bus.
Numbers three and four is important if you are a guy, that when you´re little white sperms come shooting out of you they don´t end up in the hair or sleeve of the passenger that´s in front of you obviously not looking. If it does, don´t tell him or her. Bad idea,If they realise, just lie your way out of it. I tried to clean my sperm from the sleeve of an old lady while traveling on a bus, she noticed something was touching her left arm and she looked back and saw me. I explained to her that I was just swapping a big mean fly that was resting on her arm, she eventually thanked me. Wasn´t my fault though, the girl I was with just started pointing the hose in the wrong direction so she wouldn´t get to messed up. What a selfish girl.
5)On my 18th birthday I had sex on a cement plant and then when we finished I got a blow job in a cave full of bats. Don´t need to be 18, not a requirement.
6) Finger you beloved partner while you are in line for Space mountain at Disneyland. Or just finger her throughout Disneyland while somebody takes a picture of you two next to a big Mickey Mouse puppet.
7) Have sex in a porta-potty.
8) Have anal sex in a cemetary. It has to be anal, it just adds that more creepy weird exciting thing to the mix while on top of a tomb. But spread your sperm on the her or into the grass, not on the tomb. That´s just fucking nasty.
9) Most people won´t experience this but in case you do, if you ever find yourself in a war zone and you are on watch for the night, masturbate to keep yourself awake. Make sure you´re weapon is on the other hand and the safety switch is off.
10) Maturbate while your flying through the air in fighter jet. Call the Blue Angels and let them pull some G forces on you, that will just give you a much more liberating and satisfactory experience.
Have fun and Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.