Who said suicide was easy?

Foto 130 I´m going incognito here, but man. This suicide thing is hard. I don´t know how people do it really.

This morning I decided to hang myself. But then I started looking for what I have seen in the movies you know, a simple piece of rope. I didn´t have a fucking rope in the house! So then I figured ties, and can you believe this, I don´t own ties. I think I haven´t worn a tie in years, not that I think is that I just haven´t. Doesnt´say much about me to tell the truth, fuck am I talking about killing myself…go figure. Anyways, next option I figured was to get pieces of shoelaces tie them up one to each other to create a rope. Bu the problem after that was that it was either too short to reach the fan or too long and I actually touched the floor. Then the freaking fan broke and I had my mother chasing me around the house with a broom. Hell that was scary. So I completely failed with this hanging thing and decided to take a rest since I spent the better half of the morning with the hanging ordeal until my mother chase me away with her not so magic broom but when I was going to the sofa…… IMG_1502 The bastard had taken it already. At least he is a patriotic dog though. He´s from Spain but as you can see he has change allegiances to the U.S. Even though I try to put him this t-shirt my old cool army oneFoto 191 on the bottom it says Spanish and on top Army. Then the eagle….that one just gives me the willies.

Back to the subject at hand. I figured I should jump out the window and get it over with. Hell, I´m afraid of hights. I couldn´t get my head too far off from the window. But I was persistent and I persisted and finally……………………………..IMG_1391bam! That´s exactly where  I ended up. On top of a pile of wood. Which did the cushy thing, look at the aftermathIMG_1400, yeah that´s the freaking aftermath. My mother again, she comes running down yelling like crazy saying I just screwed up her nice piece of rubble of wood and put me to do slave labour. (ladies don´t get to excited about that sexy body) I told her “mom I was just trying to kill myself so I jumped” She looked at me as if I was nuts, and told me she didn´t care that as long as I was under her roof no matter that I´m 32 (that´s a long story how I ended back at this age with them, but I do tend to disappear for a while one in a while…..that´s also some stories) anyways point being is that I ended like thisFoto 274 after the fall, and she could care less, that´s even sadder. I felt insulted really. Does this woman really love her son? At least she could shoot me. That´s what I told her, and she simply replied that then she would be the one going to jail so no way Jose, if I wanted to shoot myself then i should do exactly that shoot me with me.

So a loooong day so had to take a restFoto 315 but then I saw these……… pills and pills!IMG_0959 along with a cool fuet which is what distracted me from the real thing. I was going to go for the pills get an overdose and there is the fuet, here a closer look to one220px-Fuet it´s from the region of Spain Catalonia and is a thin, cured, dry sausage of pork meat in a pork gut. It damn good. So that distracted me, I eventually ended up eating three of those and I was so full and groggy it seemed like I couldn´t even open my eyes  after thatFoto 290. Man was I tired.

So now it´s 6:40 p.m and I have decided to hell with it and to keep on smoking like a maniac that´s why I got theseIMG_1030, yep,they are all contraband cigarettes, they taste like shit but their cheep and they weight this muchIMG_1011

 

So as of right now I´m just going to do the funky chicken dance.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses

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91 comments

  1. Shit, dude. I don’t want to be one of those assholes who like a post then move on, so I wanted to leave a comment. But what do I say? I’m aware that i’m just some stranger. But for what it’s worth, if this is a joke, you fooled me. Good job. If not, the world needs decent writers. So don’t go.

    1. haha, I´m just fooling around. You don´t know me yet, but I do have an ironic sarcastic strange humour that some people find it insulting others just find me amusing. Plus don´t take what I write too seriously, the first thing I do in the morning is laugh at myself then I´m good to go.

      In my deffense I can write some mean serious poetry if need be, but today Sunday afternoon I´m bored out of my mind and decided to put this up. A bit of light,come on, people tend to take themselves too seriously.

      Gald you stumble upon the blog, take a look at other posts, it´s mostly if not all poetry. But since the blog it is called Crazy Life, sometimes I just mix it up with some crazy random post like this one, if it comes to mind, didn´t even have anything prepared when I opened wordpress. Just cam out of the blue and then I just added the pic´s from the media library.

      1. If your a dude….well I have to think about it, if you´re a duddess then yes.

        Plus I´m pretty much what you read, not too many secrets. I did say too many, in the middle 😉

      2. You’re fkn awesome Charly. You rocked me with this post- your sarcasm is fkn on point. This was better than my morning coffee- and that’s saying a lot.

      3. You´re too kind souldiergirl, appreciate it. I´ve been called a lot of names but not “better than my morning coffee” so I´ll have to write that down.

      4. It´s a good morning, hell I can barely open my eyes it´s 7:15 over here in the land of the wild bulls. What time you got there, East Coast or West?

      5. I would like to be 33, I have that stuck in my mind. You know if I was going to “check out” I wanted to be at the age of Jesus Christ, so I have no idea why I always say 33 and I actually believe it myself sometimes.

        How long? From age 13 up to age 18.7

      6. I guess that by now they´re all asleep then. Should be almost 11 p.m over there. Phew! time for a bit of time for mommy.
        Anyways answer what? I´m not actually 32 or 33, I´m 23. Just look at my picture, does that look like a 33 year old man? Not to me

    1. I know it´s a serious topic, long time ago I contemplated suicide and have been near to death in more occasions that I can probably count with my fingers in both hands.

      I´ll check out you post.

      1. I’m so happy to hear from you. I am sorry you’ve been through this. I tend to use humour to deal with pain, too, so I could see almost a glimmer of truth in there. It’s easy to be misunderstood, but I created a space where everyone can feel like we’re here for each other. You’re welcome, too.

      2. And I did read the post, and you are doing in my humble opinion a very good thing, for people to realise that they are not alone it´s very important for some people.

  2. Shit Charly, I’m glad you were bored and just fooling around. I was getting kind of worried about you, I know you have been through a lot, but none of it would be worth killing yourself over. 🙂

    1. Dom my man, you know why I actually really wrote this….for my mother. Not kidding, I know she that now Mrs. Capone now has discovered the internet world she does read my blog and others. She doesn´t understand much English but she gets the general concepts if not she goes to google translater. Which doesn´t translate too much to tell you the truth. Anyways she gets bored with the poetry thing, but when i write some crazy thing like this( or like the other post “what´s the point of sleeping?” or something like that it was titled” well if I can hear her giggling from the other room where the t.v is. Later on when we do our family dinner I´ll ask her what was she laughing about by herself, does she need any medication? and she´ll say. “Do you read what you wrote” I´ll just smile and she´ll just give me a whack in the back of the head.
      P.S mom, this is your son yet again entertaining you, always doing you a favour
      P.S. 2- Dom, fuck take away the D put an M….and you know what it reads! freaky…not planning anytime soon to check out, did play with the idea quite seriously some years back though, but that´s past.

  3. at least it isn’t bored shitless life….keep chillin’ and puffing those weeds and eating that sausage…better by slow degrees to sneak up on suicide, don’t let know you’re coming. lull it into a false sense of complacency.

    1. After they put me to do slave labour to clean up that pile of wood….I`m not jumping again.

      Leave you? I can´t leave myself I´m too much of a narcissist 😉

      Sweet Caroline! da da da da ! You know that song? There´s actually a song that they chant the chorus Sweet Caroline. Here it is.

      How can Ieave you if you have a song name after you

  4. this post is classic CP4 – depth – life issues- and photo story – two thumbs up – and don’t even joke about suicide – but this song comes to mind….

    1. It has been ages since I haven´t heard that band.
      Good Charlotte! Thank´s for the reminder, and you listen to this music? That´s pretty cool.

      There was a time in my life where I played quite seriously with that idea, but my way to cope with things is just to laugh it off. Might not work for most people but works for me. I´m just weird.

      1. well humor and outlook is powerful for coping – and you forgot that writing is part of your wellness – ❤ ❤
        have a nice rest of the day amigo and catch up with you in a few

    1. That was some crazy rambling, you should see the face of the people near me when I go in one of these…well the ones who know me just turn nod their heads from side to side as in saying “here he goes again” the ones that don´t know me too much actually take me seriously, which is funnier actually

  5. Wow, I know we’ve only talked a few times man but to reiterate, I think your writing is great when you write poetry. Crazy wild ride. Quite the story you made. Great job.

    1. What can I say my mother is a monster but in disguise. That will remain a secret….actually not since I did write a post about it, a poem actually. I got the worst of that fight, loose some win some.
      Had that photo stored in the media library, why would somebody store a photo like that and make it public and make a poem around it….I´m just shameles I guess.
      But quite a nice fight it was, it had been quite a lot of time since I hadn´t found a match when it got to fistfights. But that is long past, I´m a peace loving tree hugger kind of guy now.

      1. I´ve been known to invent words.
        For example “screwby”, a person pisses you off you tell them to screw while at the same time your saying good by. SCREWBY. They should put that in Merrian Webster dictionary

  6. The strange sense of humor fits, crazy post, crazy life, Here in Russia if you want to do this you need a strong chair and rope that won’t break. I can find neither :). But the police are always willing to help. Call them, tell them you have just committed a crime, don’t open the door when they come, but make sure you leave a window open for well…………….escape purposes (live on the fifth floor)………..if you don’t jump no worries……….the cops will give a lending hand, no assistance necessary.

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