Determination

I have a clue
but my temperament is not on cue
i can control it
i know a can quit
alcohol craving
is what I´m taking
don´t seem to be able to write a freaking short story
what´s wrong with my memory
not even funny, or loving or witty or absurd little poems

come to my head I feeling like morons  
just fight it off

put on a mental cuff
still pissing me off, irritated and feeling
like snapping at people from high in a steeple
what a control I have to enrol
but can´t seem to focus at all
no creativity or wanting to do much of anything

except that drink that eventually I will regret and stink
I´m done for today, maybe go out and play with a book
and then cook but I need to control the alcohol crook 

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses

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21 comments

  1. You have so much creativity..
    It’s beautiful : )
    Everyone’s got vices… It’s hard to give up something that brings you peace…even if it’s just for a short time. . Even if it’s something you hate.
    Love and hate go hand and hand.
    Now, go read your book ❤️

      1. You are not alone, Charlie. If that makes you feel any better. I’ve been fighting the blues because I know what lies ahead as in winter and my creativity with my camera has taken a nose dive. Tell you what. I will pick my camera up sometime this weekend even if I don’t feel like it and you will try again to create with the pen. We can ask no more of at least trying during the dry times. 🙂 ❤

  2. This poem in itself is a great achievement Charly, that despite having a hard time you wrote this poem and trying to battle the cravings. I hope you stay strong Charly, you know you are like my older brother and I care for you. I know you are bad ass, you can do this!!! ❤

    Also I'm struggling with the creative process too 😦
    Can't seem to write something..anything for a while now….

    1. I´ll just give it try tomorrow and that´s it. Did control the cravings which in itself is probably the best achievement of today.
      Did you said your big brother……you said it because I´m loosing hair ! You evil little devil.

      Take care beautiful little devil, and creativity will surely come sooner or later.

  3. Maybe we should celebrate with tea instead
    We could have black tea, red tea, tea made from herb, it’s natural you see.
    Alcohol is good to celebrate when having a reason to
    Alcohol is bad when using it to drown out sadness
    But tea, is good either way and it goes well with cookies

    You’re a good man Charly Brown
    Oh by the way, when you write, you write with passion and humor. You’re hard and soft, you’re crazy and kind, your words describe what’s in your mind and its Frosty just like you want us all to be 🙏❤️

    1. Had to chuckle at the comment. So is going to be a tea party then ( no punt intended ). I did control the cravings, didn´t lash out and probably that was the best accomplishment of the day.

      And I do appreciate the last paragraph of this comment, you´re absolutely right.It´s a bit of a dichotomy.

    1. Thank you. I did do it. Cleanliness is my…Godliness? Anyways, that was the best accomplishment of today, or days like today that come once in a while. Forget about the writing part.

    1. Just got to push through, and I have encounter over the years that after you push through a bad day or days, I just come stronger out of the other end of the tunnel with much more energy in me.

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