I´m just a weirdo

The day to day events for me is no pretense, of…. doing anything
about this and that thing.
Now, if I get the news of my family being in trouble
I find myself in my bubble wich is to get my head straight,
get my act together, and my hands don´t tremble.

I just do what I have
to do to support them and I might add also me. I am a fuck up, but
once the shit hits the fan, you better want this fuck up to be there.
Is a strange dichotomy that I have, I can be a screw up when things are “O.K”
And when they are not, then I go to what I call my “robotic mode”, I know
I have to do X Y and Z. So then, lets gets going.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

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4 comments

  1. In terms of crisis mode, there is a personality type that gets calm, competent, and authoritative in serious crisis situations. This sort of person is needed in a crisis because they get more calm and more capable. I am this way, although I tend to be more of a worrier in everyday life. Certainly in work where I did crisis intervention this was helpful, but my children and husband have brought this to my attention also in other crises. Combat, medical and crisis experience encourage the development of this trait, but if it don’t have it to begin with, it will never come naturally. I am forcing myself to be less of a worrier in my regular life and am making progress, so if you want to make your regular self more in line with your crisis self, you can do it too. If you want to work on this, life might feel less crazy to you. You do it by harnassing your own thoughts in service to your goals.

    1. I can´t say more, you said aaaaaaaaaaaaalot. So thank you.
      But I am a pretty screw up day to day normally but as I said when things get harsh, there is a mindshift, why? I guess you pretty much answered that.

  2. Charley
    I’ve been the “come to the rescue type” since I was a child.Child abuse probably started the trait, which grew the more cable to help. I put everything in my mind in a box, not really healed me. But I found out what I was made of when I took care of both grandparents while dying. Once you know you can “to caregiver mode” I’m a take charge gorilla.
    That’s little information if I know what you are struggling with. I can hear in your words. You are not fucked up in any way. At times our body, mind or both are is crisis, you properly take charge and do what is needed to help important people to you. Your perspective of yourself is different based on if you’re helping or not. I went through a lot over the 6-8years with my grandparent, I may not go hone for several weeks to a year. I forgot how to be me again after grieving their deaths.
    When my depression comes on I no longer fell I can do anything, my self image ask a lot of questions. You’re a no shit person, one reason I like talking with you and reading others followers comments.You present yourself is a bad ass, I’ll kick the ass, I guess I do the same.
    I know you have a very big heart and determination.
    You have my email, msandorm@verizon.net. We can get down to the shit offline.
    Big Hug
    M

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