Tomorrow is the big day. Going to see a shrink because….
don´t you know I´m crazy ese? Don´t you know I´m “loco”?
I haven´t taken alcohol or other things in a couple of weeks
but,it´s a constant struggle. Why even bother to lie, I did fuck up
quite good at the beginning of the month when I received the paycheck from
the State, went on a spending spree of not good things.
Right now I´m in minus 285$ in the bank and
I´m not sure how I will be able to pay next months rent and all
because of the addiction. Funny thing that here in Spain since it´s
all public, we have universal health care, well it takes months for
you to get an appointment. So you ask months in advance and I guess this is my present for Christmas
seeing the psychiatrist, and see how he can help me with the addiction,
send me to an out patient program also a public one and all those kind
of things. And that scares me shitless. Plus I don´t know exactly if
I´ll be able to get the money back, but if I get my shit together with the addiction
thing, surely I won´t spend all that money.
The mental health specialist scares me shitless, period. A great life change for sure
if I want to stay sober and that scares me like a little girl.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.