175 comments

  1. I like the new photo, reflects the person you’re today. You have a loving ands of side, say things that make me think you would naturally open the door or hold hands. Then there’s another side that is a player, you have attitude and you tell me that is really who you are, an asshole.
    In a couple of years you’ll be in a different point in life and desire a girlfriend or wife and rug rats crawling around, the edges off your harshness are changing. You accept the facts, you crave being in a one on relationship, and maybe you want a different life. I don’t believe you can walk into a bar, put your player attitude you are so proud of away to meet a woman like that. I’m writing another message to go with this one since you don’t like such long post.
    M

    Reply

    1. did you just call me an a hole? yo wierd… plus you don’t know so ….ummmmmm I already got one nutcase woman in my life that she speecks like you, so I’m out. and I was trying to be nice to you, look it dumb shits you are, got me mad here punk

      Reply

      1. I had no fucking idea you were still with her. you failed to mention. I thought it was long over. No your not out and you don’t have to be nice. If you want to comment an we keep talking great if not it’s no problem. Your not married to me. Don’t ever throw me in a category or compare me to someone else. You have no danm idea.

  2. You have to search within yourself where you want to be in 5 to 10 years and with pupuois move slowly that direction. People can want or force love to quickly…they are both lonely and jump to build the white picket fence, you have an idea of what you life is going to look like and so do they.
    when find out your strangers, you find out what a negative person she is. Fighting all the time, you grow apart, stress pulls you back to what you think where great times. Your drinking again, you wake up and realize you don’t love this person, you start going back to the bar around the corner till closing time and the fighting turns to negative feeling about her.. Why did I marry this bitch? This life isn’t what you wanted when charted out your plan 5-10 years ago. Your pissed at the world returns and now your good ole Charly, you start the negative talk to yourself, push everybody away, you haven’t changed. I will let you smoke a cigarette and read the next post.

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      10. Well here is the good news, I live in right next to three bars, literally right next to my door steps so I listen to the people about 3 to 4 a.m and after that I also live right next to a bird nest, not kidding, so after not being able to sleep because of the drunks then I pass to hear the freaking birds, they are quite something by the way, the must have some serious conversations in the morning

      17. I write, that takes the boredome out, not only in the blog and say two shits and one half shit, read write read write, is my calling, then I might get a bit bored and walk around town and get into a fight

      19. maybe or maybe not, the writing is true though and also the figting what can I say, the other day I knocked out a guy, not cool sista, now I have 6 of his friends trying to find me and guess what, I got one when he was alone smack the shit off him and told him where I live so that way I don’t have to move my ass and look for them. And I’m still waiting for them to come

      39. Yes it was gardening, and no is not a company, is quite normal here to work here and there doing shitty jobs and you get paid in “black” meaning that you don’t declare it to the IRS, you get paid shit by the way, but a job is a job and to the other question yes, they are rich people, I don’t think the poor peple would pay someone to clean their garden, trim the trees and all that shit, plus over here is 100 degrees so as you can see is not a very pleasent job, but it is a job

      46. I’m eating a bite so the meds don’t chew my stomach up then I pray for sleep. today I said to the dog, Shaggy momma is going to sleep till 4 pm so you be a good boy. never even entered the bedroom.

      50. I like! Now when send me emails you can elaborate. Did you read my instructions on how to yUse Reader not have come to email. If you haven’t, Stop! Only look for my email with instructions. Delete all unless other people mail you. Wipe your email clean, make changes under settings, I think. Empty trash, assuming you ‘re on windows, go run a partition to get rid of waster space. I’m not sure what is not working? The scroll bar? When you look at screen when you only 20+ is the a large blank space below to read email? The # of emails you see or scroll could be a setting or just not working. How old is your machine? Desktop or Laptop? M

      60. Actually I don’t have an anger issue, but when it comes to guys that are “cool” and treat you like shit, I love smashing their face, that is truth. Normally I come on top with the fights, rarely do I come in the bottom. With all the fights I’ve been involve my nose is good, not broken, my teeth are good, some bruieses here and there yes, but tell that to the other idiot that is on the floor

      62. Is not normal behavior in any place, but you do have to defend yourself in certain situations and that means not waiting to get hit but hit first and better that he stays down. Not normal definately.

      64. You can say that, what do you think these guys do? Sell drugs, so fuck them, they try to fuck with me they get on sista, plus eventually they don’t want to fuck around with me, I’m not alone either, I have my “cadre” of “friends”, so yes I’m Vito Corleone

      68. I guess is neither, I’m not being nice for the sake of being nice, I just like you, and actually nobody put a pistol on my head to talk to you, so it is what it is. Period.

  3. I have seen both the gentle, romantic, good guy side of you and we haven’t even met. I’m older than you by close to 15+ years, I’ve had the picket fence, the barbie life, making money, no cares in the world. What I didn’t see from seven years of living together how many cracks were in our marriage. The money, travel, alcoholic in me didn’t sink in how those crakes were going to grow wider and an explosion would happen. He was very romantic and did the most touching things, every one around us said you guys are perfect for each other. We both alcoholics, big personalities, the fact is what people think is superficial. You are great friend and most of time like being with each other. The guy who was never going to marry again proposed after seven years. We were doomed long before marriage. We don’t want to see or can’t see warning signs and talk about it. You both keep moving forward, having good times traveling the world, it was easy to say let’s not talk about that now. Another cig break, I should stop telling the facts of life and go to bed since I haven’t slept much in three weeks.

    Reply

      1. This is the Charly I don’t like, if this is who you are and all you think of me then fucking don’t write back or even follow me me anymore. Don’t call me a fucking nutcase! Are you into degrading people or is this your defense mode?

      2. I guess is the latter, sorry about it. I do test people by the way to see how they react to what I say, quite revealing about humans actually. So yes, I do apologise.

      4. Hahahah, that was me laughing, actually I was smiling, and yes this conversation did took a turn like one of a married couple……. holy shit!!!

  4. Very slowly your feelings and life changes, don’t want to go to biker Baar every weekend where the women have nipple rings and the guys are all druck, think they know everything and the truth is on the surface it looks like a bunch of guys who may not have or even mention their life. Some are truly gang members. I had to ask myself is this what I want for my life, why would he even think I want to go very Saturday night. I talk to no one, there’s not anything that gives me pleasure not even the booze. It’s the true smelly scum bikers scamming way thru life and people playing biker boy on weekend. I paid cash for the Harley, loved the bike, riding stopped all the chatter in my head and my pain went away. We go as far as renting a bike in Hawaii to spend four days riding the island to see it different than in a car, WOW how cool and fun! You start to think about all the little signs you didn’t see from the start and so do they. You have the picket fence and your wife made so much damn money who wouldn’t want this life. As magic in life can happen one night drunk at a friends pool party he feel and broke toe. When the nurse came in you saw something in his eyes and body language you didn’t understand. Get another cig.

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      4. I just say random things as they come to mind, not much to it. I’m not a manipulative person, I am quite…. what you see is what you get basically, not very difficult to read me, and I am a good person that I know.

  5. As life would have it the Nurse was his first lay with two women at 16 years old. They immediately fall back to the feelings they had and behind my back he was seeing her.(nothing going on, just watching movies..right). One thing I promised my self as a teenager I will not let a man ever hit me, once and I’m out. So I’m now an Executive traveling five days a week. How perfect for him. His resentment towards me, money, everything was wrong. One night we got waisted and on the way home he lifted his hand and hit me. I made him stop, walked the 15 miles home with no cell phone or keys, I’m drunk off my ass. He let me, I made the decision because shock hit my Barbie lifestyle. I broke me promise to myself. Years later he was at a Golf Championship we had gone to for many years. The real action is in the tent with the bar. It’s a who can dress the slutest, watch them prance around making it very apparent they will sleep with everyone their if they have enough money. I decide not to go one year, he gave me a general but within in an hour kind of thing. Then we would go to dinner. Four hours last, waisted, barely able to talk clearly I got in the truck in the driveway. We are fighting like never before, both in a rage, he hits me good this time. I go back in house crying, still in Barbie land, how did we get here, I’m the perfect wife. We love each other.He decides to leave and go to a strip club which I have issues with. Smoke another and I’m taking drugs to send me to bed and stop telling you all the facts of life for no fucking reason at all. Your followers are going to love this until I can delete the conversation. They probably think we are better than a daytime show.

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      4. love ya, stop saying the asshole thing would you, now!!!!! wink wink, is 7 44 a.m here by the way and I don’t have cigarettes and the cigarette stand opens at 9 30 so I’m going nuts, first thing I do when I wake up is smoke my cigarrete and today nothing

      16. No mam, tell that to the other girls, I’m not bullshiting. I might be very bad at other things but not on that “thing”. That is why I say that I’m like fast food. Easy to get, tasted good for half and hour, and easy to dispose of.

      24. The last woman, or bithch I should say, I was in a long term relationship was when I was 24 25 I lived with this girl for three years, got deployed to Afghanishit and she dumped me while I was in a really fucked up country. Nice of her, tells me she is suffering too much because I’m never there, fuck you bitch I said to her, you are suffering?

      35. you have a great day, we get to end this conversation without a fight, we leave liking each other. We’ll pick up the conversation on a positive note. today you can listen to the dogs, birds and bar for motivation on what to write
        ever wrote a love poem?

      36. I did write write a love poem, here it goes…

        I saw an eye
        that took me above the sky
        why?
        because she was beutiful
        and not unfaithful
        look it,
        i just love you

  6. I laid on the bed think back on our meeting, living together for 7 yrs, life moved forward. I had cancer at 28, so no kids, father committed suicide a couple of months later, all the signs that for me personally were an issues because my desire, how we couldn’t go without talking, that great period in many relationships. Life changes people, for my career this was after we were married I moved 70 miles round trip every weekend to spend time together. I think he came to my appt. twice. Now two separate lives. He was always very vocal that he didn’t believe how I suffered with depression, said I was faking it yet would not go to a doctors appt to learn the suffering going inside my body and head. I could not live with a man who doesn’t believe I suffer from a debilitating illness at times. I t an easy excuse for him. Every crack went thru my mind and I didn’t see them or didn’t want to. I filed for divorce after being together 13 years, it was pain full and I felt tremendous guilt. I was close to a millionaire when I willed, feeling so guilty, how could I stay in the house I love with memories of us, the two rentals were in neighborhoods I wasn’t;t comfortable living. I missed so much work, IMy attorney said you’re giving away the farm what is wrong with you. Guilt, I filed. We were on good terms just no longer “in LOVE’. I didn’t force the Neiika market crash and losing 30K a day for eval weeks before I would allow broker to do his job an move the money when he warned me before the crash. No longer a millionaire no longer. I had no idea who much money we made from rental houses, how much was in his Executive 402K had in, no idea even what he had in personal accounts. He has me later did I think the marriage separation was fair, hell no! I was building a home and trying to keep my head from spinning. He started calling me about the birds, my favorite was an Umbrella Cockatoo, named Stormy.He called in a panic when she started to pull all her feathers out, I asked the normal questions, has anything her environment change that might have street her. Yes, Mary had moved in and had a dog. I didn’t have any issues with her other jealously at times. She wasn’t married, it was my husband who made the decision. I think you know next part of story, I dropped into a Suiidal state. Ok I lied the drugs haven;t kicked in. Get a cig and you can read more of the saga to

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      2. I was just being an asshole really. It’s my bad, sometimes I get bored and say stupid shit, at the same time what I do is just test people, by the way if you live in Texas it must be right now……….1 a.m?

  7. After the divorce was close to settling, I’m on a small cruise ship in a hurricane. I over heard one guy talking and chimed in that men should not married until 40 yrs old.So many scars in my life.At 38 I had to learn what I failed to learn,Couples have to know themselves, live together for five years and be committed to communicating, lost the money, house, 200K in jewelry, entered a mental hospital, time process my fife and get meds straight. At 38 had to learn who I was where my life was going. I believe half of you knows and wants that life, be a husband, not drinking or drugs, want a child in your life. It’s the other half of C that feels good? with the player, hot shit, I do what I please. I am so fucked up from last relationship I’m never stepping down that road. When you know, the question of calling her or not doesn’t come up and hurt someone.
    Keep learning, you’re a great man inside, the best I can tell when your softer serious side comes out. It’s the macho BS that would keep me away married or not. That’s a lot to process and your first comment back is going to be shut up! Then give me some damn wise man saying that makes no sense to me. You have to be able to say, guilt using so many many emojis or I’ll puck and you feel if cared I nano he would not ever tell me to shut up. You’ve read some of my background, my thoughts and actions will probably make sense. Life happens, people come in your life, your heart gets broken and then the brick to the head. It’s something you’ve never felt before and you’ll know this may be my chance to be the man I want to be.
    I have faith you will get there, it takes time to see the negatives standing in your way and change. Not give up, talk smack about this is me a fuck up and start over again. You’re smarter than your poetry leads people to believe. You don’t care what people think of you, when life is right, your heart is open, you will care what they think all the time. That’s why I asked to tell me I was beautiful. I loved your answer, when your close to dying you don’t feel that way about yourself any longer and your not hearing it like before, so often. He knows I could die, exhausted from doing everything two people did before. He maybe happy inside or not, only he and God know.This is why email is so important. I have two older laptops, an I pad and all type of gadgets. I’m serious about tel me what you need.
    I have a great widescreen, think it’s a Dell laptop, barely used, bought when gramps was so ill. I’m preparing to recycle these. If you need my best Windows one I’ll find a way to get to you. That is what people who care and want nothing in return will do. I’ll see if any comments back but probably will go to bed and answer later tonight when can’t sleep again.
    Xx M

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  8. You haven’t answered a damn question I ask! Hoe am I to take that, I talk later I’m busy fucking someone right now. There so no converse if I ask the questions and all you do or your followers do is click liked. I say that in a pissed off voice. There is no need for us to move any closer if your fucking everything that comes to your door. That means no future. I don’t wan’t a man who does not answer my questions you want to to fuck 7-8 times a day which is BS. You may masterbate that often but you could never work if you fulfilled your need. When you want to talk honestly you will email me. I’m done leaving these fucking messages. Right now I feel like shit and you just talk, talk, talk without true feelings backing them up.

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  9. No comments another night! I let you see my anger points. It should not matter since you put your sweet talking bait out and I didn’t keep my gaurd up I had fun while it lasted. You played me two. You’re behaviour towards me has taken a complete change. You used words like, beautiful, watching me sleep and wrote a special poem, you were thing of some else in you last line. I still consider us friends, we’ll see what you do & if av email ever shows up here. I am writing you an email, all you have to do is look in subject line, that is if you haven’t already fucked me out of you life.

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    1. Do you hear yourself? This is crazy talk you’re talking. Wich as a grand Priest said “do not let toxic people into your life”…… I think the that was a priest, me.
      You’re pretty much as crazy as the other girl, wich you probably also take out knifes on people and the rest of your craziness,. As of right now I don’t feel like talking to you, a lot worst actually, you fucking crazy nuts out there.
      Stay Frosty gentess. But don’t comment to me.

      Reply

      1. I’ m not a crazy nut, don’t stab people in the back. I can have issues with jealousy. I don’t Here from you two nights, think about it, do you ever feel that way. I let you in my heart and loved every minute. I was more angry at myself for feeling those strong feelings when the odd of us getting together is slim. I’m a relationship person now. I knew you get mad but it was in no way a test or a game. Sound like another married fight is coming or worse. You talk about your feelings I have them to.

      2. You do sound like my ex girlfriend that took me twice with her pretty cool kniife.
        And all the rest you talk about, is not worthy of comment. Which this is the last one..

      3. No it is not, you’re in it. You said things to me from your heart, I know that for sure. I was missing you, found out yesterday I have to get knee replacement surgery. We did not talk the night before and last I wanted comforting. I said several mean things to you which is not my style. We’re learning each other. One promise I will stand by when I see Saint Peter, I have never, not one stabbed any one in the back. I’ve had it done to me, I’m not a get even person. You’re pissed by the things I said but your heart can’t turn off every disagreement or fight we have. I truly am sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me. If If I didn’t care no comment would have been said and feelings of jealousy would not rear it’s ugly head. You not throwing me away like a piece of trash, you care to much. Charly when you care for someone like we do, you hug, cry them talk about what was said and why we talked all the time then an abrupt stop. There are so many reasons we didn’t talk those two nights. I believe we care and it’s confusing and it’s easy to fantasize about seeing you. I’m very touchy about faithfulness. I’m not you’re woman and you’ve made no commitments It hurt me feelings and I lashed out. Look in you heart, how do you honestly feel. That will determine if you never talk again. It would make me sad but I clearly understand being accountable. I am sorry as you put it my bad. Please do not compare my to another woman, I’m me not like anyone else. Take out your anger on me, preferably in email. There’s nothing wrong with sending an email. Let’s talk and share how we felt and work everything out. All you have to do is close your eyes and remember how you felt, isn’t the nice & beautiful words an. If they were from the heart. Don’t cut and run Chagine