I have this unstable process….
I go back to the shit town with the criminals
and I fall for it, that, the other, and become a bitch brother.
I stay in bed reading, not much to do there if it´s not good things.
Yet again, I´ll remain just sayin-my choice.
I get a call this morning, my mother. She is in the last stages of cancer.
Yesterday, she was vomiting. Not good. Me in bed feeling sorry for myself
because I went back to alcohol and drugs…hear? Feeling sorry for myself.
I get the call next day, put that in a shelf, jump out of bed, call the taxi.
I can feel the shift in my mentality, this is my important and sad reality.
Do I cry? No. Does my mind goes in a state of relaxation? Yes.
Weird that it is relaxed right? That is how it works if not I fuck up,
relax, get back to mothers house while talking with the taxi driver and
nudging her to speed up a bit by the way, either that or I my highway.
See mom, and with a smile on the face I tell her that my pants are clean.
She laughs, I know the seriousness but what good is it to be in crying-ess.
I go to 0-100, does not serve well in the overall life scheme, but in this situation
in any situation that death is involved, you better have a 100 percent not pussy cat
near you. And that is the only thing I know about me for real.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.