I have this unstable process….
I go back to the shit town with the criminals
and I fall for it, that, the other, and become a bitch brother.
I stay in bed reading, not much to do there if it´s not good things.
Yet again, I´ll remain just sayin-my choice.
I get a call this morning, my mother. She is in the last stages of cancer.
Yesterday, she was vomiting. Not good. Me in bed feeling sorry for myself
because I went back to alcohol and drugs…hear? Feeling sorry for myself.
I get the call next day, put that in a shelf, jump out of bed, call the taxi.
I can feel the shift in my mentality, this is my important and sad reality.
Do I cry? No. Does my mind goes in a state of relaxation? Yes.
Weird that it is relaxed right? That is how it works if not I fuck up,
relax, get back to mothers house while talking with the taxi driver and
nudging her to speed up a bit by the way, either that or I my highway.
See mom, and with a smile on the face I tell her that my pants are clean.
She laughs, I know the seriousness but what good is it to be in crying-ess.

I go to 0-100, does not serve well in the overall life scheme, but in this situation
in any situation that death is involved, you better have a 100 percent not pussy cat
near you. And that is the only thing I know about me for real.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.


  1. A soldier is always a soldier, my friend…I wish you all the best and all the strength you can muster. We were never taught to fear but to be feared…

      1. I am afraid, Charly, that it is something to fear and I wish your mother the best and the most painless free moments possible. God bless…

      2. That was a bold statement I made, reality is that it´s just a matter of time. And taking care of her day in day out, the dog, the house, being attentive she takes the medicines, checking on her constantly, then the dog shits in the house so go after that, make her small meals that she doesn’t eat, yesterday at 8.p.m to the hospital, I just got back paying a ton of money in taxis, you’re whole life is turned around and I have seen death, but this is very different.

      3. Te entiendo perfectamente. Mi madre murio despues de una larga enfermedad que la iba debilitando cada dia mas y mas hasta que llego el momento que perdio el habla y todo el movimiento…son cosas muy fuertes y peores que cosas que se puedan ver en la guerra, porque para ellas estamos adiestrados, pero para estas no lo estamos pero tenemos que enfrentarlas de igual manera. Te entiendo, un abrazo,

      4. Mr.Cabrera, I just went into your gravatar (not to be nosy)page and saw all the great and very important work you have done around the world. Very impressive.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s