I have been in the hospital room by myself with my mother in a comma.
When is she going to expire? Nobody knows, I do know that I am the one
and only one seeing her deteriorate day after day hour after hour. Point.
Next to the hospital there is a grocery store, sort of cheap so I get food from there,
here in Spain is very usual to see guys out of the store asking for money.
This guy happened to be black, whoever read me for some time knows racism doesn´t enter my mind,
I called him some racial slures and physically attacking the idiot that is a smartass.
He does not only ask me for money, he starts bullshiting me, me thinking
“Is this guy serious? He is actually talked to me first in Spanish and then in English…
go figure that one out, you fucker”, So I did snap, he had better clothes than I have
and that is not kidding, there are organized, I have seen the same black dude in different
towns, not kidding, they are a mafia since they are organized, I just could not take it.
I slaped him on the face while at the same time took his cool hat that was better than mine
took the hat off him, smack him again, people screamed after I called him from dumb nigger to
who knows what, nothing good for sure. I was about to go full out on this guy, they are not poor
they are taking advantage of us people that try to make a decent living, not taking that shit
from these criminals. So I went off, smack a bit the shit out of him, called him some colourful names
and back to the hospital to be with my dying mother. Fuck, gonna start drinking again to calm me.
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CRAZY LIFE 
I truly don’t know how to deliver my words still I’ll tell you to be strong and keep praying. Whatever life offers us we need to accept it with no other choice.
Sending you Warm greetings and blessings. ❤🤗
Very much appreciate it Tanya, me and father had our little moment to cry and now we have to go on, no other choice but move forward. Very much appreciate you stopping by and commenting.
Thank You! No problem I ‘ll be reading your posts just took a break in the middle that’s why couldn’t catch up.✌
I don´t have a need for anybody to read my crazy posts, but I do appreciate YOU as a human reading me when you can, and if not…. believe me internet world is not my world, I just post crazy dummy things, yet again thank you for reading and more specially ….. why in the world would a smart person like you read me? No idea, so really have the honour of at least saying to myself that a smart woman is reading my crazy things.´
Take care Tanya
Very much appreciated.
Take care.
Sorry to hear about your mum’s deteoriating condition. Prayers are with you.
It was more than expected and my brain seems to have it clear, it is very strange how I can function day in day out in this room with her, but appreciate the comment. Love ya you little…..freaky cat!
Stay Frosty gentess, and really appreciate you taking the time and commenting
It is hard to deal with dying and death. But it is nice that you are there by her side daily. You are a good son Charly and in our Asian context, you are what they call, a filial son. Bless you!
Holy! The freaky yellow cat turned out to be Asian…. so that was pretty cool. Actually the word “filial” or being loyal is also a spanish word, so we have that in common, we only don´t have in common is that I don´t like cats….. I have always grown up with dogs around me I remember my mother always with dogs and dogs on me, behind me, dogs everywhere, I saw cats…. as the enemy!!! 😉
It kind of weird being almost 24 hours a day in the same room with a dying person, but at least for my selfish self can say at the end of the day when she has expired that it was me that stood by her. I still haven´t cried by the way, kind of weird. I woke up today in the hall since sleeping with what it looks like a corpse is not very nice, woke up in the hall that the hospital have with chairs so I slept (or semi slept better said with a pain in all the body with those freaking chairs) I slept woke up, saw her yet again and gave her a kiss, she is unresponsive but it did make my day to at least feel her, mommy is mommy what can I do, just a moomy boy.
Anyways, going off the trail talking too much, which is probably good for my pshychy being now 7 days in the hospital lock down with my mother dying, so no wonder I start writing and talking to no end, so sorry about my ramblings and thank you for stopping by and your very much appreciated comment.
It is ok Charly. Pour it out. It will help. Nothing wrong being a mommy’s boy. Take care. Garfield hugs. Glad we have similiar filial piety.🤗