Be scared and then carry on

I am Charly Priest, son of my mother Blanca that died this month,
apart from that tragedy I live in a town full of criminals, Marrocans the majority,
yet I don´t have a prejudice, if you are bad you are bad.
It does piss me off, even knowing I knew it would come sooner than later,
I did give this 16 year old criminal a chance, thinking me “the grand seviour” of
this fuck up kids, they are that, they steal, they sell drugs, name it,
and I just have to walk out of my door, maybe they would enter my house at this point,
so you got to be on your toes basically is what I´m saying. But I wasn´t on my toes
when I gave the 16 old kid, and I won´t call him a kid, first he is a man and then a criminal,
don´t worry ladies, I too was like them at that age so nothing new but I don´t know why
I feel after my mothers death this month that I should be the one helping them….

What do I get in retun when I´m not even looking? just a sucker punch from this idiot. And me the dummy,
giving him the benefit of the doubt all though deep down I really knew that when he saw his chance
that I was not looking around, preparing, he would take the advantage, I fucking knew it and still
gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I actually later called dady, not to cry him a story, not to
talk about this, just to hear a calm voice and know why I should not go back and literally kill this guy,
always a nice calm comfortable voice is good in all aspect of whatever you are dealing with.
Just the fucking tone, there could be a freaking nuclear bomb go off, you call dad, and you will believe
everything is good. At least I know that if I call him, and not even saying why obviously he
already has his huge amount of problems in the real world so forget about this criminal shits,
they will read this by the way, better, I can only say that hearing his voice was just peace of mind
for me.

So you motherfuckers after I already stabbed one of you(or not, this is creative writing)
in your shit one only neuron, if the stabbing didn´t occure twice to protect me that is-
You better thank my father.

Already lost mom, can´t go to jail and loose my father.
I do also know that those so called kids of 16-18 are no kids, I was one of yours you idiots, I changed
my world, maybe not for the best of the best but for better, I know you won´t hear this. A freaking sucker punch?
Me not even looking? Thank my father and the writing that right know I can get it all out in writing.
So thank you for thanking my father and then my writing.
For now.
(They all know where I live and and I know where they live, small town so… no BS unfortunately)

Read you all worpress people you innovators alligators!!! Read ya latter, but this was more cathardic
than trying to chase this 16 year old fucking criminal around town, I already tried and he ran like a bitch,
and me giving him a chance… dummy me, anyways this was more cathardic and again when you other
idiots read this, yes I know you read it since you told me this and that plus showed me this blog on your phone
I hope you take a step back
or not actually. But do whatever your “great head” dictates to you but first thanks my mother and my father,
you would already be gone right now if it wasn´t for that call to father, no worries you, I didn´t´talk
about the incident, just to hear his calm voice and that his things are doing good is what kept you alive.
Remember, I´m not the only one pissed off at you, we are plenty more than you think. Never forget.

(Might as well write some good poetry instead of this shit)

3 comments

  1. I am sorry for the loss of your mother. You wrote often of her. So hard to lose someone we loved and cared for. I lost my father in January. I think of him daily.

    1. Sorry for your own loss, and yes I did seem to write often about her now that I´m seeing past posts. Just weird not be able to have that specific connection with a specific lady (that was really the one who raised me day to day) that I could talk with her about anything, from girls to cars, to whatever it could be. I did “church it up” although she was no dummy so we are not fooling anybody, but at least she did laugh at my crazy stories, laughed at me and with me and since she was getting a bit bored having to be in the house all day who better than to hear than her crazy son to pass hours and hours on the phone with her, and she laughing, other time we´ll get serious but I do appreciate more her gutteral laugh of some weird thing I might have said, and she probably would be my guess that also appreciate my little crazyness. Made her day a bit better to laugh at what I told her and also with me once in a while, but that laugh…. do miss it.

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