Lost in a flood of Bourbon he sinks, he drinks but it seems the flood water levels never go down.
Quite the contrary, he´s now sinking more in them, they pull him down
and he can feel he´s chocking, no air, just despair.
Suddenly a revelations….. swim or die !
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
P.S. I did steal this idea from this man Richard Ankers | The Writings, but compared to his
writings it seems I have a looong and looong way to go. But was fun.
And it really has 50 words!!
Aaaaaa! fuck. This sucks I just want to throw some rocks to my roof and to the neighbours as well or drop them into a deep dark well or drop me into a….fuck, my butt hurts from sitting down or laying down for about 23 hours of the day or maybe even more because I have a broken ankle who does has an uncle and his name is boring. It´s been 26 days like this.
It takes me forever to shower, as a matter of fact I shower twice a week the rest of the week I pass by with baby wipes. Just for the simple fact that doing it apart from taking forever I tend to fall in the shower or the other day stubled and hit the glass door and broke it, so if nobody is helping me it´s a fucking mess. And like showering and brushing teeth, with all the other chores either I can´t do them or if I do them I return back inside the house as if I had ran a marathon, tired as hell. Boring, I read, I write, I watch some t.v, fuck and I like it but damn I also like to go out and take a walk or go to some bar or fuck a chick.
Problem, my parents live in a lovely house but it´s in the middle of nowhere and you need a car just to reach the nearest town which is 2 miles away. I could walk if I could, already did it more than in 100 occasions. I was suppose to move out this month though. Had everything prepared to move out to room with some other people in the house. Nice people, working people, not the other types I can be with. They had wi-fi, I could plug in my little t.v in my bedroom to watch the t.v in English, the town is a good town which means is not like the ones near my house which is full of fucking Moroccans selling dope, stabbing each other and the bitches that move around those circles. But hey, right now I´m about to call one of those whores and meet up with one of them. If you have money and you pay for drinks and whatever else they want, sure, they´ll meet up. Not the best, but is pretty much the people that I know around here, have known them since little. And as a matter of fact, have lived that life for quite some time.
I´m a hero anybody knows that? Yep, I was a soldier once and deployed( so that makes me a hero) so have been in worst situations but fuck me this is boring as hell. Might as well call a whore if I had my own house or if I lived in that little room I was going to rent for this month if it hadn´t been for this set back of the broken ankle, which at the same time it would be kind of strange for the other people living there seeing a whore walking in although I´d probably have some funny outrageous and semi logical explanation as to why a whore is in their house. I did get a whore to visit me to the hospital when I was there for almost two months. And fucking while you have the iv´s on….damn that was something. You should have seen the faces of the nurses, and they still loved me after that. Crazy Charly, and laughed at the incident. They couldn´t had more fun seeing that in their whole careers. I was giving them the gift of laughter(at me or with me either way was laughter) everytime they came into my room I would say some random thing or flirt with them. I do tend, not for everybody, but for a lot of people make my mistakes funny and innocent and their quite some fucked up mistakes. But the way I say it and express myself….well, they end up dismissing it. Others just hate it, but fuck them. I´m far away from perfect but I´m quite certain I have more heart and better heart than quite a lot of those people who love flowers, animal tree hugger and kings and queens of morality.
I just need some release! Even in the army you had to release, and most of the time it was when you didn´t have to work( I was infantry), well it was going to bars getting drunk, fucking anything that moved, and when deployed, fuck me the relieve sometimes was just to shoot your gun in anger or get drunk back at base. Yep, we Spanish soldiers at that time we didn´t have such strict rules with alcohol as the Americans, we would get drunk as a skunk after a 1 month of constantly being vigilant and if we had a couple of days off when we were relatively safe inside the base for 24 hours a day without going out, then yes we would get fucked up.
Now if I do go out, it´s a also fucking boring in the sense that I can´t jump from bar to bar seeing some people. I have to stay in one unless I want to call a cab to take me 300 meters up or down the street. So that´s another inconvenience.
Anyways to be or not to be an asshole today? That´s my dilemma. Or better I should have said to act as an asshole not be one, since i can act as one but i´m certainly not one. Certainly by my standards that is.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
*As the title goes it was written on this 
in a dirty napkin late at night in a nasty bar full of lost souls, poor souls, bastards, sluts, criminals, the best of each house really. *
ROXANE
I don´t know what to do
You cunning
That is what´s got me coming
You know…..
Just put you´re own show
To subtle that is how
And don´t let me know
WHORES
Riding the two whores
not an insult it´s just the reality with real dingy gravity
poor souls they say? fuck´em, they´ll play you like kid on puberty
i got me in, now i got to get out, how what now what, screw that
gonna choose that. I´m out baby girls.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
About the shirtless thing, just woke up I do have a shirt on actually but if I had to take a picture it takes and eternity for this fucked up computer to get into photobooth so I just took one from the media part of the blog, plus it gives me more credibility as a doctor.
Sometimes I go by the name of Charles other times by Charlie and others by Charly. Either way, you might not believe it but I am a Psychiatrist hence the Dr. part before the name. Not a licensed one or the conventional one, but I have found out that I do give quite good compliments and have a deep understanding into human nature. So if your in dire strait please contact me.
If you feel suicidal…….take a deep breath, count to 9 and one quarter, take a step to the edge of where you are going to throw yourself and really look down at the people that are crossing underneath you. Would you really want to end up falling on top of someone and making them also look like cream pie all plastered through the floor? You could be charged in a second degree murder, maybe not technically since you are already gone but you will be remembered as the suicide killer. You really want that? I doubt it. That would make you pause ad think twice. I know there are other methods of killing one self , but lets go slowly at least one of the methods is out of the table, the round table of options now you have one less.
Are you feeling lonely…….buy a dog. A study from the University of I don´t know in which part of the U.S but I´m sure it was in the U.S since who in the world would spend millions on studies such as studying the dogs brain and finally coming up with the official conclusion that dogs have feeling. Not kidding they actually did a study on that. Are you fucking kidding me? It took a bunch highly trained highly financed and equipped nerdy perdy dudes and dudess to reach that conclusion, Jeeesus only in the U.S, love the country though. But really, I´m not a pet psychologist but I do have two mean nasty farting machines dogs and I can tell when if I yell at one of them because they just peed on the balcony that their ears will go down so as the tail and specially the girl dog I have, like most other females that are humans( ladies! yeah woaw!) does keep more resentment towards me during a longer period of time than the male. The male couldn´t give a shit the bastard, he´ll be doing it again in a couple of hours so that one is a lost case. My mother goes away for holidays, the dogs are used to certain hours when she takes them outside, since they themselves won´t go outside by themselves and they are suppose to be attack dog, what the fuck are these two going to attack I ask myself, anyways at certain hours usually at 7 p.m they start walking up and down the house and looking at you sideways as in saying “come on dude!” so up you go, stop my writing or reading or maybe masturbating depending on the day and I walk them outside to see them, well just take more pisses more shits, run a couple of meters, getting fruits that have fallen down from a tree and bringing it to me. Point being, feeling depressed buy a dog and your depression will turn to anger. No more feeling down just thoughts of murder.
Feeling agressive…..No problem, go out and buy yourself a male whore or a female whore. It has been proven that sex is the best antidote for agressive people. It has something to do with the neurons and receptors, I won´t go to deep into it since it´s kind of boring the technical thing.
Feeling that you are in a deep hole and you can´t get out of it…….that your world is falling on top of you kind of thing. No worries, take my example, I´ve been to two nasty pasty screwed up nasty rusty countries, been shot at, lost 3 guys, decided to become a cool drunk, and a cool homeless person, nightmares, bad memories, and at age 30 almost died of pancreatitis, and look! here I am. Alive doing the funky chicken dance at 8:30 in the morning, so always remember that out there there is some one always a little more fucked up than you. And that they do climb the hole out, quite amazing what humans can do if they put their mind to it.
Last, and most important, take what I said very seriously, or not, then go to the mirror and have a nice laugh at yourself. Giggle like a little girl, don´t take what people say to heart nor what they do or not do. And all this advice free of charge.
Stay frosty gents and gentesses.
Lately or maybe not so lately I see quite a lot of blogs which the people have their “bucket list”, the things they want to do. So I decided to instead of having a things I want to do, I´ll do a bucketlist of things that I´ve done that I wanted to do and did.
-Study in the U.S, check. Did my highschool years there and a fruitful but brief sting in the university. A year an a half with a scholarship for English Literature. Hell, and I´m Spanish. Go figure a Spaniard studying English Lit.
-Have sex with an American girl, check. I thought she would be blond, blue eyes, be the prom queen, you know just like in the movies I saw back home in my small town, screwed up town of Spain. She eventually, well she looked like a troll really but what the hell. I did it, she was American.
-Live in a paradise island, check. I lived in Palma de Mallorca a beautiful island that is in the Mediterranean sea, beautiful beaches, girls, beautiful mountains, and this after I returned home from the U.S at age 19 and my parents basically disowned me for fucking up the scholarship. But I was young a full of energy.
-I´ve had a lot of jobs during my life, and most of them all had been manual type of jobs excluding the time I worked as a bell boy and then receptionist but one that I always wanted to do after I saw the movie “cocktail” by Tom Cruise was to work in a bar, check. Not really, I got there with very little money, had a friend that knew a guy that had worked in this bar next to the beach so he put a word in for me since I was literally with a couple of hundred dollars in my pocket and I got the job. And what a job that was. Man o maaaan, the women!
-Have sex with girls from different nationalities, specially Asian. check. I was quite the Romeo, not that I´m that old now I´m 31 but back then…weeehaaa. It was paradise, plus since I knew the owners of the clubs and I knew the door men, I had a science applied to picking up chicks. I actually think I did some mathematical equations so everything would be on mark and if I had jump to plan B, plan B was already waiting.
-Get out of control with booze. check. Always been a drinker. Actually in Spain is not, at least when I was growing up,now things have changed. But at my age, at 11 it wasn´t abnormal to toast with a little wine in my glass on some special occasions with the rest of the family members and friends of the family. Eventually it did get out of control.
-Be a smoker, check. Smoked my first cigarette at age 10 and by age 13 I was smoking 2 or 3 cigarettes a day regularly. Now I´ve jumped to a pack a day, but have reduced this from almost two packs a day.
-Join the army, check. It was never planned, I was getting out of control with the booze I was getting a bit bored of the same routine going to work as a recepcionist, had two friends back in the U.S that had joined the Marines after the attacks of September the 11 2001. So one day coming from work, I stumble upon a van that had written on the side “Ejercito de tierra” which to the Americans is just army. They had a cool t.v outside with tough looking guys fast roping off helicopters, shooting guns, the uniform looked cool with all the gear on it. It was a steady pay, I would get a bit of adrenaline, which I needed and surely it wasn´t going to be all that tough or routine the army. Just show up, shoot guns and then go back to sleep. Easy, just like Rambo. Got that one wrong.
-Getting deployed, check. First deployed to Iraq just 4 months since I first entered the army. Actually joined my unit there. Or the rest or my unit. All that cool gear, or at least what I thought look cool now it was a pain in the ass. Or I should say a pain in the back. Still have back problems from that period of my life. Let alone the living conditions in that fucked up place and worst was Afghanistan, that was real shit. Yet again I was in the Spanish Legion, picked the toughest unit my Spanish had, since if I was going into this I wanted to be with the best. So let alone being shot at or blown up, just living conditions, heat, cold, food and water depravation, but we did get a bonus of 3,000$ in Afghanishit, since they actually asked for volunteers to go there. And since I had been previously been deployed I thought I knew more than the rest of my platoon, they all wanted to go, everybody want´s to go when you train day in and day out for this. The analogy would be like a guy studying Literature, reading a lot, and never get a chance to actually write? That would be frustrating for writers right? So basically the same in my case. With some twitches here and there.
-Blow all your savings, check. After 4 years and a half I did get out of the army with quite a lot of dough, you do the math if I was deployed for 7 months in Afghanishit with 3,000$ a month, weehaaa. What do you do when you return from those places and then decide to get out of that institution. Spend like crazy.
-Be homeless, check. Great ways to do sight seeing of the city parks.
-Steel, check. Had to at the time to pay for my addiction to alcohol and basically some money with the whore i was with at the time.
-Go to jail, check. Like a hotel, food and board included.
-Almost die, check. Survived the army experience, which others guys didn´t and now I was lying in the ICU in “shock”, diagnosis, severe pancreatitis. Still fucked up with that thing. Spend 18 days in ICU and plus a month and ten day in general hospital. So almost two months wearing blue hospital clothes.
-Return to having a real relationship with my parents, check. They did find out I was in the hospital,sort of drop off the grid after army days, I didn´t call but seems the doctors took my i.d, and eventually the other two names listed there as my closest relatives well they where my parents so they contact them.
-Return to my old childhood home, check. Where do you think I´m writing this from? Yep, with my mother in the other room and one of my dogs farting right next to me as I write this. It´s peaceful I´ll tell you that. Living in the middle of nowhere where there are only cows and bulls outside my door, birds humming early in the morning, a bit isolated though.
-Not being broke, check The government has decided to give me a check for disability because first of my health issues and second because they saw I had been over two years without working. So there you go.Not broke anymore.
-Renting an apartment. check . Moving in October to my new apartment, 250$ a month and in Spain they call it with rent to buy. So I sign a contract, put some much more money in advance and then pay the 250$ a month and it will be mine.
– Have my own laptop, check. Have finally bought it, 800$ the son of a b…ch. But here he is standing.
-Return to writing, check. A bad writer but we´re having fun with this thing, plus this wordpress thing, my free online university.
So mission accomplished, my bucket list done. Now I´ll start to make one for the future that looks brighter.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
What a wonderful man this guy seemed. I wouldn´t have mind seeing one of those shows when I was in the army and deployed(Spanish army that is), good for the man to do that for the soldiers. A good man and a great loos.Robin Williams Was the Bob Hope of His Generation – Yahoo
*Been in a dark place for some days, so I decide to take out a pen and paper, or maybe I robbed it…anyways just wrote two stupid little things in about 10 days. Sorry I can´t read you more cause that´s my university, my university online.*
THRE,FOUR, FIVE.
Three,
I´m a petal with no tree
Four,
I think I like myself even more
Five,
I skydive, problem though
no parachute but…I´m cute.
…………………………………………………………
JUST ME……
I understand that,
there is no stand sorry,
there is a stand
but nothing there for the hand.
As the saying goes……I forgot
but I still like hoes.
Who´s your daddy!!!!
Somebody…I guess, I also play some chess.
Go figure, no mixture, no love, no by,
what´s left?
Screwby.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
Hot, tired…of doing nothing and something
same routine,
day in and day out
i just walk about
writing and reading throughout.
No outlet in sight
there´s the need of adrenaline
go out and cross some line
strange,
neurons going into dark places
where there are no spaces
for good nature faces
frustration
of routine and routination
tired of this nation
head is a partition
just neurons frustration.
Bottle in my nation
outlet from frustration
party goes the nation
but nothing will, turn out well
if end up in the well
but neruons are still in frustration
need to fuck some soul
i need to drink some bottle of whatever,
staring at my house, dogs, family,
day in day out
i should be grateful
and am
but I guess neurons are
mixed up, or not, or fucked
and need outlet of evil intent
or just some party intent
or just brake the routine intent.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses
Disclaimer-in all pictures I had to photoshop, either to make myself no muscles or to make my self a bit fat. Didn´t want either male or female who ever reads this piece of narcissist writing to fall over in shock and be thinking of me for 24/7, don´t want any stalkers….whatever if your a girl and sexy remember, I´m all muscle contact me at 666-666-666. Getting of track.
I was talking with my broker about how much money I wanted to invest
in a international arms trade. I know, a bit heavy but shit happens and you got to do what you got to do. Then I was interrupted by a growl And started to be given orders and I said What? You ain´t nothing against me I´m too cool to go to school, you see!!
I love my cool 24 year old version little me. Just put that bulky uniform and bullet proof jacket to make me cool, plus the weapon that´s another 3 kilos plus the hat that´s two kilos, plus the boots that´s almost one kilo each, plus the steel plates inside the jacket, yep, short cuts in the budget we actually had steel plates inserted in that cool jacket. But I was too coo for that too and just walked around naked and in flipflops, it´s called psychological warfare I´m Sir Spaniard! So you, you!
Yes you, mother, not going to tell me…..shit, that hurts
You little monster and your in advance age, no wonder I had to escape to the army. Now you just screwed my pancreas and now I have to walk with this tube. Hold on mom! I´m hiding it and going down. Where here?
Make up your mind will ya, I´m backing up the truck 
no? This is not it, only thing I saw around. I sold mine, you know, bad economic times, why am I living with you now after 15 years….Damn You have no mercy I can not find the fly 
I searching! How do you want to kill a fly…. Are you kidding with me? Cant see nothing! O.k, you little…what? go back to digging, and now with this…
can´t you see my face! You scaring me!! No I´m not on drugs, (it´s photoshop though)This is screwed up, all because what? I´m digging a grave to put these two bastards in it
. Come on, don´t you have a heart, they look peaceful and in love, no? Sorry, yes mam, look 
come on, I´m pleading you, screwby! Not doing anything more
Can´t bare it anymore. Going to eat a shrimp now
O yeah, much better now after the shrimp a little puff puff goes the dragon
damn I feel good. My back is in agony, I also have chronic back pain. Had some quite rough jobs throughout my life, but that´s cool though. So, this was hard labour, I´m telling you, specially if you have a sergeant like mine. Although I had to do it with a very hip style. Ladies, Gentlemen…you o.k. I´m doing fine after my cigarette.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
P.S. I have no shame. My number again is 666-666-666.
It is Saturday fife fifteen p.m and I´m bored
I feel the need to score
an outlet
something
going nuts inside this house
need something
happening
opening
boring
fuck
I just wrote like a ladder but backwards
always going the other side
against the tide
my mental tide that is
so be it in his, miss.
It´s been twenty days
of nothing and a lot of things
twenty days of constant beatings
on my writings
but temptation to go out
and scout
and go into the bar
give me another scar
but I need a fucking outlet.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
CRAZY LIFE 
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