fucking alcohol

That is the face of disgrace,
hold on……

That is a good fucking face
and the head is not so much of a disgrace.
I don´t even know now if what my mother was telling me is true or not,
but the fucking alcohol just makes center in? ME. Only me only me,
pisses me off. But I did took that decision to be a drunk, so I own it.
Hopefully I can get out of this one, and to tell you the truth writing
is my saviour. I write, and yes I drink, but I don´t think about anything
else. Which it is quite selfish on my part. I´m that smart.
So the mother she says tomorrow to hospital, and I´m just thinking about alcohol.
Not normal. Also, I´m with a whore. I don´t say that disrespectly each person
to his or her own, I also decided myself to be with this one. I own it.
Funny thing for me is that yesterday while talking on the phone she is actually
fucking a guy. Gives me something to write, this shit is not normal.
And why? Because of the fucking alcohol. If I was sober I wouldn´t give
two thoughts with this bitch or another….you know brother.
I do know. Since when I was sober I couldn´t hear this idiot talking,
just can´t, but drunk…. let her fuck the other guys here there and think
I´m not aware. Not kidding, it is her job but does pisses me off that she
plays me like I don´t know. I do know. And again the alcohol talking and
I could work more on this writing passion I have.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

the last train


The last train has long been gone. I hit the bottom, yet again. So many
times I have been in detox centres that this time I decided it has to be
only on me to stay sober.

I don´t have a steady job, neither does over 20% of the population,
Writing is my job but it doesn´t pay the 10 by 20 foot room I rent. I know
the measurements because I just measured them!I get odd jobs here and there,
which you obviously don´t pay taxes on them. I receive a 350$ pension from the state,
that is great. With that I pay rent,little food,little cigarettes,and the booze.
No eating at restaurants, no movies, no nothing. Whoever said money doesn´t make you happy….
I can kill that person.

To not get the booze I play mind tricks. Obviously stick to my daily schedule I have set
to myself, but when I get in this 10 by 20 foot room….I dress as if I was on a job interview
while I sit in the only hard wooden chair in front of the computer. As long as I write
I´m in a office so I dress as a Wall Street executive. If I decide to lay down to read in bed,
I put on a tracksuit. I get up to the computer and put on my work clothes.
Just little mind tricks if not I slip into the dark side.
The last train….I guess I´ll have to buy a new one.

thank you wordpress people

Hello, and thank you. You have become part of my life and also in a sense that
you are my psychologist. I just have to write it and I have a platform to express me.

I basically did this to my own self on purpose so it can´t get more weird.
My head process said, ¨if you don´t have money you are not going to smoke, you
are not going to drink, and other shit dumb ass¨. I did fucked up again so I own it.
This process went goes inside my head head,
I literally want me with no money, although having a house and internet
is great, but everything ends at the same time. If I want.

I just wonder to myself, I literally spend the rest of my money on cheap wine.
I want to drink it today and see how I function tomorrow. Hard? You bet.
Angry, tremors,but I did leave some cigarettes…. angry, and angry towards me.
Or not, just put a fucking fake smile on my face It happens to me.

Thank you WordPress followers.

Jesus, it seemed I was wrting a death letter befor I jummped a real cliff.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Short almost crazy life

Spend almost five years in the army and deployed twice,
loved it, if I was alone I would hate it, but there truly is
a brotherhood, not friendship… is different.

I killed, I was shot, nice scare by the way.

Got out of the army with a bunch of money, at least for me,
spend it, homeless, in jail, drug addcit. Broke some bones in civilian life
and they broke mine.

Now, that was looooooong time ago,

CANCER, that is what my mother has, in some sense I can see what she heard, and experience
when her ¨kid¨went to war.

My mother is the strongest person that I know, love her to death, but I see the weakness in her
body, her hair falling, and me I´m just a care takere, she doesn´t want to be alone,
so there I am telling her my crazy things but ¨churched up¨ and that is what she needs really
you punks, why did I call you punks? I´m in the drunks if not I wouldn´t have the nerve to write this
more than nothing she wants a person, that is me, lets say today is my day off after staying with her
2 weeks at least, so the point, bing bang boing…

A patient needs confort and I learned that in combat in battle and that I apply it to my mother
which by the way she can take you all on, tough as nails this woman, she´ll get trhought it,

P.S. I put myself on the pedestal….cool, sense of humour, my strange humour,
but humour is what I provide for her and she loves it, she actually in the first
time of my life tells me to ¨go with her and talk when she´s on the bed¨

Ps 2 told ya, the only fucking reason I write about this is because of my cool drunkness,
but at the same time tomorrow is my time to take care of her and she loves when the ¨kid¨
goes there, NO EDITING, JUST DRINKING, tommorow I will…..fuck shit cool.

Today my father took care of her, he saw that I also need an outlet, but tommorrow morning
I´m back with my mooooooooooooooomy, or MOMMY RAMBO

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Look who’s back

Damn, did I get fat… Aywas, hit it!!

Ladies and gentleman,
i’m back!
for a quick snack
just got out from the detox
horny as a wild fox
14 days of uncommunicated
i was a bit frustrated
monitored 24/7 by nurses and guards
and we only had one hour out to the yards
that’s the name
of the detox game
not suppose to be easy
plus the fucking hospital food made you uneasy
so the detox is done
next face is a dishabituation
so not whole lot of fun
after dishabituation
i KNOW i can build my own little nation.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Drunken song

You ask me why
and I just say hi

Later at night I bang on the door
but you don’t let me in so I go to score

In the morning you let me inside
but you pour all my drink outside

One day you locked all the doors from the front to the back
and just left me a note saying I should pack

You ask me why I’m writing this poem….I say,
some call it a tavern but I call it home,
fuck you I’m drunk!! Fuck you I’m drunk!!
Even though you pour my beer down the the sink you skunk,
hahahaha, I got more in the trunk.

Fuck you I’m drunk

I left in the morning
Because you were too boring
I got to the bar
And shit that was smart
You call me all type of names
Wich I can do a dumb relates
You tell me this things
And I’ll just buy 100 drinks

Fuck You I’m drunk! Fuck You I’m drunk!
You throw it away but I still have more in the trunk.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

P.S. Under the age of 18 don’t do it, actually don’t do it at all whatever the age is.
winking here, that was long time ago thankfully.

I’m on a diet

Since I’m not drinking I’m seeing my belly grow, you know?
Since I’m not drinking anxiety sometimes trumps creativity.
SInce I’m not drinking cigarettes become my great anti stress.

So, I’m going on a diet! And you better not laugh and stay quite,
since that was my meal this night, three grapes….. i actually have weigh them,
it’s one gram, sadly and is quite madly that i’m weighing each portion,
wich really is a bit of distortion.

3 grapes
3 grapes
I’m gonna start looking like those freaking apes

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.