anger

The priest making friends


Being a priest I have to pontificate;
latter you can rate

Cry me a river for: the poor, climate change,
the derange,
save the animals, save the trees and add the bees into the basket,
that way you can sleep me to death into a casket.

I read(brush)blogs after blogs about those topics, I realize that most people I know,
for them is a show.
Their main concern is how to survive for themselves from month to month,
tell them or me, to start investing time and very little money
on all that bullshit honey.

I´m tired of being bombarded by media and people to make those things my priority,
the poor are in the minority,
I´m actually blessed, you feel so badly about the poor..
go to India and do more, for her(and she is smiling) 
Once I see you there
Then I will care what you say with that stare
Since you did the dare.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Anger issues

You have been….busted!

You brothers and sisters of wordpress,
do you feel depressed?… Just asking so I can look like a good person
wich is kind of worrisome,
i do have anger issues
do not take out your tissues…yet,
i bet that when I’m in with her
and her
the anger goes away,
but i just hope it does stay, in that way for buddha!
problem is that if you take me out of that environment
then is when comes that “moment”,
but trying to work on it as best I can,
and not with a beer can.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Emotions: anger!!!-Social Media


Humans and their emotions,
they are so complex
a lot of times I want them to send them far away in FedEx
Emotions of;
love
hate
anger
indiference
I really found that keeping the emotions in check
will make this person not that much of a crazy wreck
but as of right now;
ANGER! Is my emotion, and who would of thought why,
becuse of my crappy computer and it´s innability to
get into the internet after I spend quite some money
on her, so conclusion, it seems I felt into the trap of
social media elsusion.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Rant!!!!

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I think she doesn´t like me she thinks,
she thinks she is miserable while she has a couple drinks
she thinks her family doesn´t love her the way she wants
she thinks this guy should be like that and now is not so what? Now….
she thinks all the while she´s a rich and spoiled but hates the oil
cause she has to save humanity…. come down to the sewer and
so you can see the real brewer

Time to grow up, you´ve been sheltered for too long
so nobody can take out a magic wong and sing you the pretty song
you want to hear, yes people by nature tend to be imperfect, except this writer that is,
people betray you, people are also good, but you my dear go to the extreme, in some kind
of an outcast scene, you meet people and you suddenly want from them to be your best friends
or meet a guy and want it to be the man of your dreams and live happily ever after with children
that are not a disaster, wake the fuck up.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Quote I don´t like at all

Some people are so poor all they have is money

This is a quote from a blogger that if he or she see´s this will maybe get pissed off, he or she is a great person and hangs up quite some wonderful quotes, really. But this one….damn, I was thinking to myself “man, only people who have money will say this” I´m sure there a bunch of hippies out there that are barely getting through and will say “peace, love, harmony and lets go hug a tree and eat strawberries” but for me, fuck that. As of right now, I´m down to eating one meal a day, thank God that I am at my parents house and I will not ask for money I´m a grown man, but I did make a visit just for the food to tell the truth. And see my dog also. She´s freaking deaf now by the way, and she can´t stop talking. Really she talks, every time I come in to the room she´s at she´ll go “woo, woooooo, wo wo” and me ” say whaaaat?!!” and she again “wo wo wooooooo” So it is quite an interesting conversation we have. I think we´re bonding more now.

Anyways, back to the quote. I have been homeless,that´s not fun. Now I have some money but I can´t work on the shitty jobs I used to work as a painter, or in construction, or for that matter a bartender since I have the broken ankle and I´m still limping plus my back hurts like hell. So limp man over here is getting the money from where? Yep, the State. The same state that is going to charge me with attempted robbery next year. I should add it was an attempt to get into a liquor store 6 freaking years ago when I was homeless. So that´s quite the paradox.

Now that I live in another town, a better town than where my parents live, but I do have to pay rent, pay food, transportation, my cigarettes, no booze since I´m going to A.A at least doing it good for now but as they say one day at a time, anyways live like normal people do and manage the money as normal people do. And just paying the rent 3/4 of my monthly allowance is gone, so I´m down to eating one meal a day. I think that for the past week my face has turned like a giraffe, loooong, and you know why? Because of all the freaking spaghetti I´m eating, that and rice. It cheap and you can make great amounts of it and last´s longer. The freaking laptop I bought which I spend half of my savings on that thing is now fucked up since the hard drive is broken and I still don´t know if the “guarantee” ( that should last for a year) but I don´t know if it covers a broken hard drive I´ll see tomorrow when i go to see the repair guy,and if he tell me I have to pay, well out the window goes the new laptop, since I don´t have the money for that. So that was a great investment that lasted not even two months. So now back to walking over a mile to get to the public library, I should say limping, just to get to a computer. I could go on a bus, but don´t want to spend more money on transportation.

So the quote implies that money doesn´t buy you happiness. Well fuck you, (not anybody in specific just cursing my way through the post) maybe you won´t be the happiest of people, but I guarantee you that life is much better, and what the hell if I had money I would not have so many headaches and believe me I´d have a permanent smile, just like the Joker.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Anger issue…but well channelled

I actually wrote this about a week ago in my little booklet after having a comment back and forth with a  person, believe me that I thanked God this person wasn´t physically in front of me, in those moments I have no idea why but a switch in my heads just goes off and I go off having a broken ankle or not, good thing about it, is that I have the writing and man was it cathartic to write it down. I was going to hit publish right away, and since I felt so good I ended up writing other thing and publishing it. Anyways I figured that might as well publish it now that I´m not angry, does show quite an ugly side of me I´ll tell you that. I´m often surprise about that part of me, it rarely pops  out now, but if it does is not good, so thank God I had pen and paper, seems it´s my therapy. The only person that has brought this up to light, my anger it is, is my mother. This happened about over a year would be my guess. We where on a bus and a guy, cool guy, wanted to get through the pack of people standing on the bus since all the seats where occupied and he eventually pushed my mother on his way, I grabbed her so she wouldn´t fall and in the next second I grabbed the guy by the neck and pretty much said everything but beautiful to him. Seemed his cockyness went away, but later on my poor mother told me that I scared the bejesus out of her, that my face completely changes and that my eyes my stare at that person also completely changed, seems so in those type of circumstances. No more talk, her it is.

Think your silly comment
is just one stupid moment
Trust me don´t get worked up
or I´ll knock you down and up

I must be so disgusting
thick skin it is so might busting…in your head

So fuck you you idiot,
I´ve been through the ringer
you can´t beat me in any of your singer

You think, but you really don´t know me…
capable of what I can withstand, also understand
and you go and piss me off?

I can destroy your little cushy you little pussy
your hiding place stand you understand?

Trust me when I tell you this,
when you think your taking the piss
you better hide very good inside your computer disk
I´m in the open
so you fucked with a wrong omen
“poetry” I´m writing
but believe me
you fuck with me,
and words easily can translates into actions and good are not to be
you dumb fuck, just babling and babling
hiding behind you computer rambling.

Meet me in person you dumb shit
and I´ll carve you a scar out you dumb whit

And after I wrote this, just  like that, the anger went away and I wasn´t thinking of punching this guy face. I did comment him  not so good words I should add. That´s when he left his bullshit and actually apologised. Point being, lesson learned, seems writing truly is my therapy.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

Keep on judging (rant!!!)

This is my rant, spilling it out after your stupid remarks
not living any marks but still feels good to let it leave the
system.

I keep on telling you how great and proud I am of you and more praises
what do I get in return? But stupid childish little phrases.

I´m 32 baby girl I have lived quite a live that you may know about since
it´s pretty much written down in the blog but really have no idea the emotional
toll in which you get to scroll but that´s cool with me so be, my decision to live me,
i´m a survivor, i´m a fighter.

There is this saying that goes ” people that truly love you will never try to change you because
of their own insecurities” well, you are pity with your own insecurities that you try to
translate to this mate, now way is that happening would be head stomping.

In your fucked up country, yes I did say it, seems either it´s only you or the freaking culture that makes slaves out of people, well hear this, in western world is not even a near miss compared to that hiss

In my world,you are, and specially in my family, you are expected to grow and although family will be there to lend a hand,
you are expected to live your own life to strive in your own way, to be what maybe for you in your own mind,is strange but is called being INDEPENDENT, that way we might ascend it, the ladder of life and also fall from it and then get back on it, but not on the back of your parents since that makes real insecurities parasites.

So I´m sick and tired of textes and emails of you telling me how to live my life, when you have no clue about the REAL life, and even worst contact my mother, which to tell you the truth that seems to me a bit nutty bordering in harassment if it isn´t already quite steady, so get the hell out of my back and let live people as they want to live and not tell them how you want for them to live, specially coming from a girl that comes from this curl of her great mansion, I might no have a mansion but I have my own expansion, good and bad of life choices, but at least I made and make choices unlike you, boo boo, so go smoke a  cue if you got this.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Fiber Optic installed…..back on line! The oddysey

This is quite cool actually, it has taken them for what has seemed an eternity to install this crap but right now I hit “click” and before I blink an eye, bam! I´m already in the next page. But in order to get here we must have been out of internet for 4 days, I actually had to use the screwed up computers from the internet cafes in my shitty town. Which one, are not the best places to go too, people wise that is,  kind of scary if you don´t know the situation, and second the computers are more screwed up than this one I´m writing from at cool 10-8 a.m in the morning. Plus  getting  there is a pain in the neck, getting to my town that is. Have to walk 2 miles to the bus stop spend 1 euro and 30 cents that would around 2 $, to travel a distance of 2.5 miles, basically the same distance I cover in foot to get into the bus stop at first to then get into a dingy screwed up full of dope selling Marrocans  with their computers and pay them almost 2$ to use the net for an hour and during that hour not that I can read too many blogs considering they are screaming God knows what between them and second I eventually start getting into a screaming match with one of them since their fucking computers are doing the yo you dance on me. So I spend quite a lot of money in transportation, no counting the 2 miles I have to walk with my screwed up body which seems I´ve walked 200 and now that I get internet……….yeeeeeehhaaaaa! Amazing what technology does to you. I though I was a troglodyte when it came to internet social media and then I found myself quite pissed off for not being able to have it.

Odyssey I day, I won´t even start with this idiots of the fiber optic, I´ll just say that here, as usually with everything they do. By here I mean the great country of Spain, the country of no hurries and definitely no worries, take all the time boys, not that we use the computers just to watch porn, nope, we actually have to get into on and use it for writing, forget about internet, just the writing thing. There is also the old school of pen and paper which I had to revert too but I broke a fingernail in the process. Plus this idiots if they say they will come at 11 a.m you can expect them to swing by at 2 p.m when the food is already on the table and happy family is eating lunch so up you go and now you have to leave the food there for the flies to have a party with and hear this idiots talking a lot and not doing anything productive. Not their fault, sort off, but  this guys just install the cables, now if the cables don´t have power what is their fault? So why send them in the first freaking place before the “central” people know they have power? Idiots, and this has happened to thousands of people. The same problem we are having. Now it seems to run quick as hell, but first they told us we would have this by first of August and what date is it today……almost October damn idiots. So they come at strange hours of the day, like for example yesterday at 9 p.m while again we where having dinner, and eventually it was the wizzard of my father with no formal education, a self made man in all the senses of the word. Who got this shit up and running. This guy was like a mean nasty dog that won´t let go of the bone. The poor man stayed for 3 days calling up this people, calling even the secretary of the telephone company. Yep, he knows the director, he knows quite a lot of important people so I have no idea how he can look at me and think “Thank God my kid turned out this well”, which he actually doesn´t but that´s another story. So this guy spend 3 days and almost 3 nights calling, talking to the “install” guys, shouting at them of course but at the end of the day about 3/4 of the people that live by hear still don´t have this fiber optic up and running because what are “normal” people going to do when the computer geeks show up at your house and tell you as they did with us, that the reason was that our computers where outdated….fuck you out dated, you had to see the computer geek, the so called know every chip that´s inside of this, talking and my father eventually had to cut him off and me in the background about to choke this idiot, and tell him that all the systems this kid was talking about, since he must have been 20 something,cool thing in the middle of the conversation his girlfriend calls and she doesn´t believe this guy is working so this guy has to pass his cell phone to another co worker so this stupid nut case of girlfriend would believe the kid….had quite some experience with that, so there you go the professionalism and you had to see the face of my father I actually started thinking of digging a grave in the back yard just in case my old man killed this kid and we needed to dispose of the body quickly.

Anyhow, my father stops the  guy and says have you realises this is a Mackintosh and your talking to me about PC….fucking kidding me, first check out what type of computers are in each house and then you might start selling us all this fiber optic shit, so at 10 p.m after some other phone calls by daddy paddy here, and him actually giving lessons out to the so called technicians or what I was asking myself, we got it. Everybody in the house pissed off expect my two dogs who don´t really care too much about internet and strange people coming and going into the house at strange hours disrupting everything and not accomplishing anything,

 

Now go figure how by inbox is filled with past post, probably more than 1000, and in between there might be emails and probably I´ll delete them without even knowing since going through 1000 post is good to be back and reading people but 1000 it is a bit too much, plus I don´t have the time. They should make the day have more hours though, don´t know who to talk about that……I´ll figure it out, since here in Spain either you do it yourself or you´re screwed. We even have 8 major airports that are with no planes and no people, why? Because the stupid politicians apart from spending huge amounts of money for the so called “infrastructure” they forgot to take in to their little minds the private sector and what airplanes could fill this airport or that one and hire how many people e.t.c. BY the way, they where socialist the brilliant minds that came with this idea. So no wonder the country is not only going it already is in a hell in a handbag. If I said that right that is.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses, be stalking you soon.

Madness(poem)

Madness
not as in crazy
just mad
i guess once in a while is not all that bad.

I have no clue what happened to my wordpress settings
but look how this writing is not with my typical letterings

I have no clue what just happened with this wordpress
I only know it´s aggravating me, I lost everything from the gallery,
to categories, to all that.

Would like to punch someone
but then I would be gone
and not have anyone
but I am that crazy,
and I can really go off
so whoever is fucking with my blog
they better be good or your out and about.
Don´t push me, if you don´t want to get pushed back
and that you lack, and you´ll never return back.

This better be solved quickly
or I´m fucking shutting down
and some people are going down.

And that is guaranteed.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.