Yesterday night while I was eating dinner alone. Well, not exactly alone if you consider having as your dinner companions two dogs. A male yep, that´s him and the female which apparently has taken to one of my habits. Know I have to spend double on cigarettes. What a b..ch. Anyways I was eating some juicy stake, and these bastards seemed to love it. I told them that watch out since in other countries like China, they may not eat stake but they do eat your types. The idiots wouldn´t believe me even the male which the family as a whole has come to the conclusion that he is in fact a bit retarded, he´s also deaf and doesn´t bark. Plus his name is Lucky, and he has everything but luck the poor bastard but the idiot or not so idiot since he can´t hear me,my assumption is that he knows how to read my lips, so he heard it andyep, stuck his tongue at me. They eventually sat next to me and while I was eating they started making out, not kidding. I didn´t care at the beggining, although it is a bit weird since they are brother and sister, not sure if they get it, but there I was eating a nice stake that by each passing moment I was starting to choke on it seeing what the where doing This was the least, the male started humping the female and I decided to put a stop to it. Couldn´t even finish my juicy stake seeing the penis of this bastard. So I had an Eureka moment. Dogs do need to “relief” themselves once in a while just as humans do. I probably have to relief myself more than the average male or female for that matter, but I´m just a pervert which is another story. And I came up with the idea of opening a dog brothel. Why not? Humans have them, why should they not have it. Even PETA would be on my side on this one.
First, I would take them out off outside dangerous situationsthat must be some scary shit for the dog looking at all these guys with guns. Also no combat deploymentsalthough I will say this, this black dog is quite smart. He´s watching out the rear of his male counterpart. But the noise of rifles firing can be too much for them and I don´t want more PETA people crying about it. Plus they seem to get a bit of trigger happyand that can pose a danger when they return to the civilian life, which to me sometimes doesn´t seem to civilised, but that too is another story.
Conclusion, for their sake, for our sake since first you don´t want your dog to get a 50 caliber rifle and start shooting cats. Plus I don´t want have nightmares after I saw the penis of my dog trying to penetrate the female while I was eating and almost vomited. I decided to talk for them cause they can´t. This morning I went in full recruitment mode, first got Sandra she´s a natural by the way. And then got Julie which I had to apply some make up,I do think the ending product turned out so bad. If I´m starting a dog brothel I figured we also needed some party for our adorable dogs so Joe over here gave me a hand with some cool stuff. I also had to provide for beer, but that money came out of my pocket. Joe just stole it. He maybe small, but quite a bastard. In matter of hours we had our first customers waiting outside the door I know, they might be small but they are horny as hell. And good payers I might add. Once they got in before going with the girls one of them started ordering drinks right away and you should see this thing chuck down all that beverage, who knew that such a small thing could have such a big intake of fluids… an plus the weed… they where having a ball. So it was an all out win win situation for everyone. They had fun, I pocketed some money in what was my empty wallet and they all went back home not to do creepy things in the house like my two dogs, and much more tranquil. They do need relief, an owner thanked me since know he doesn´t have to deal with this again.
So overall, I´m making PETA happy taking out these dogs from dangerous situations, plus most of the members of PETA are women, so wink wink, that´s should be a plus for me. I´m making dogs happy as well as humans. Although I do have my enforcer in case one of these humans says some nasty words about my new revelation to make humans and dogs live in harmony amongst each other. Naa, i was just joking….or not.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
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