comedy

Devil dog

Yep, she is saying hello.

There is a saying that goes like this “To his dog, every man is Napoleon.”

It’s a great saying, like my dog….

1- She steals my food from the table
2-She barks at me when I’m sleeping in my room
3-She barks at me when she hears me wake up and go to the bathroom
4-She bites my feet
5- She actually bites pieces of the wall

And that is just a couple of examples.

So I actually don’t feel like Napoleon, so who the F came up with that saying?

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Fucking birds

Just a quick paragraph for you to tell … to your neighbour.

So here I’m sitting typing away and I hear a loud bang on the window,
so first off I thought it was the Moroccans throwing rocks, and when
I came out with all the adrenaline flowing, and by the way I don’t know where
I was going, I look from my balcony and see nothing. And as I turn around to get back
to the room or maybe it was the bathroom…like now. Just got back.
To get to the point, I look down and see a bird.
He was still struggling to be alive, meaning that I could see his chest going
up and down, and me like and idiot started performing CPR, since it was little
I just used one finger to push his breast up and down up and down, and,
he died. Thankgoodness the window was closed, or this thing could have hit
me in the nose. I did give him a good farewell, I took him outside and
since the Moroccans were there shouting to me some very creative names,
I just threw the damn bird on top of one of the guys. He didn’t seem to please as
you might imagine, but, I explained to him he was now a part of a special group named “man of nature”.
Why don’t they give me some sort of medal? This is the fourth time in
my civilian life that I helped. The first three were humans, and now the fucking bird. Jeeeesus…..

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

I’m on a diet

Since I’m not drinking I’m seeing my belly grow, you know?
Since I’m not drinking anxiety sometimes trumps creativity.
SInce I’m not drinking cigarettes become my great anti stress.

So, I’m going on a diet! And you better not laugh and stay quite,
since that was my meal this night, three grapes….. i actually have weigh them,
it’s one gram, sadly and is quite madly that i’m weighing each portion,
wich really is a bit of distortion.

3 grapes
3 grapes
I’m gonna start looking like those freaking apes

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.