crazy diary

Lost it

I get a check from the government of very little money, but something is something.
With this Corona thing they are changing the “help” which I would prefer if they
made things easier to get a job, but no. So now they are changing the “help” they give
you month after month, literally living month to month and not knowing when they
are going to cut you off. Back again with the new help they are changing to,
had to go here then there, nobody knows shit everyone is disorentated and
since social security services are closed they do it by phone….just a mess.
I hate bureaucracy. Who doesn´t.

I find myself waiting in line, spread out two meters, with a freaking mask on, me
thinking again this is just bullshit and a lady in what here in spain they call
“attention for the citizens” would be the translation, which they eventually
they don´t help at all. This lady very well dressed is asking for help to buy her
a fucking washing machine. And she is going on and on, so you can imagine how screwed
people are and what we call here in Spain “La picaresca” which translates that you
are going to scheme here and there to get money from the state, that is our mentality.
The lady keeps on with her BS about a freaking washing machine while I need to process
certain papers if I wan´t to pay rent in October if not I´m in the streets, and the
freaking washing machine can wait so I just yelled at the lady to get the fuck out of
the chair and start washig by hand. And after the commotion, well I didn´t get the
papers processed. I needed even more papers, and I´m still thinking about the freaking
washing machine and the lady. I´m picturing her inside the washing machine going
round and a round. I´m traumatize now with washing machines, 30 fucking minutes talking
to the guy to help her get it, Jesus Christ, I almost murdered that woman.

Have a great day.

My life (very short version)

I´m 37, lost my mother on the 14th of last month. The woman that literally raised
me by her own since father was always working and providing for us.
I don´t recall a so called “father figure”. Now he lost his wife of 50 years,
who he calls? Me. More glad than ever and I strangely find myself in a position
when I feel like I was 25 in the army in Afghanistan in charge of 4 guys.
My father is obviously not a cushy man, I have always thought he was superman in my eyes,
now I see his vulnerabilities and I hate that for him, like in the army days with
4 guys in charge I was at age 25, so I keep the conversation light, to the point,
keep his mind off our tragedy and move on. I actually told him to move on, apart from other things.
And I am talking both about the person (my mother) that raised me and I could always call her
laugh at my crazy things. Now the roles seem to be reversed, and I will reiterate again that
my father is a tough motherfucker. He called me that by the way. But he is human it seems,
seems now to me. I only say that if I have something good going for me, is to put the tragedy
of my mothers death behind of my head in some black box, (like army experience) and the way
I talk to my father, the tone, the things I say, are reassuring for him.
Kind of weird thinking he was superman and never had a real conversation with him.
As I told him, we have to adapt.
If he called me this afternoon I inmediately knew he as a human has to talk to someone
about other things that is not work.

Wacking a catatonic

Sorry but don´t worry, I meant to say “waking” in the title of the post,
repost?
Out went one ghost
I´m sorry for glory… (just rhymed nothing in behind)
So why does this bitch calls me to tell me I´m alone?
Quite interesting, she is a whore if she fucks for money yet she seems
to have that obsession with me and calling me while she is fucking quite literally
or just literally, and in the meantime she finds herself in her weird mind
having pleasure that I´m alone in this Corona thing, is this girl out off her brain completely?
One off, (double meaning on that one) Good for you, you fucking spreading not only Aids but more Corona,
what you want me to tell you on the phone that is, “good for you, fucking while calling me?” I don´t know.
Second off, you did buy that book of mine, you seem proud to …try to fuck me not in the literal sense,
you think I was born yesterday? You fuck dummy. Actually you are that a dummy to fuck. The guys
use you and use them in that sense.
Third off…. I forgot got bored but got the message you? Now I tune off, and thank God I am alone
better be alone that with fucked up people. That even those I can do wiggle.( that a word?)

Father paper translation

re post… fuck that was hard to do by the way. You tell me if with all the variable in it…
I think I did add value. And thank dad for making my one neuron work. Evil this one,
I do appreciate all that you are doing. And you know specially to whom, and love you
although it might not be reciprical that I can understand. You´re a great man.

The repost!!!!

Yep, the crazy Priest had a translator job… yo hot!!!
A translation from Spanish to English…. fuck I´m not drunk!
I think it came out good in a general sense, or actually specific.
Did write my little notes there changhing names and… hit it!
Thank´s dad, you made a bit of my brain go to work. And he will use it I know that much,
It has been used in the past, so is no wonder. Yo dad! Love you.
Really do love you.

Putting the text he sent me in Spanish then the google translation and then my translation.

Estoy haciendo una prueba con un sistema automático de traducciones de Google para la nueva etapa, y expandirnos en los mercados de otros idiomas. Aquí te envío el texto que he escrito en español y la traducción que ha hecho el sistema de Google en inglés. Para que me digas si se ajusta al texto original o que tipo de fallos tiene.

Texto en español

España es una referencia actual de como una democracia entra en el desorden social, económico y político por el desastre de la gestión de su gobierno de socialistas y comunistas, de la crisis provocada por la pandemia del virus corona (COVI-19).

Al desastre de la gestión hay que añadirle el uso ideológico que hace de esta crisis el gobierno para cambiar el régimen constitucional desde dentro, e implantar un estado de índole totalitario. No en balde el marxismo utiliza el principio de desorden para subvertir el orden de la democracia liberal.

Esto se refleja en la vida cotidiana. Se implantan normas para impedir la libre movilidad de los ciudadanos, y se cambian constantemente en función de la edad, los negocios y tipos trabajos. Se obliga a cerrar negocios mediante criterios arbitrarios del poder utilizando como argumento las directrices de un superpoder desconocido hasta la fecha que es una comisión de expertos nombrada por el propio gobierno

Google translation….

Texto en inglés

Spain is a current reference of how a democracy enters thesocial, economic and political disorder due to the disaster of the management ofhis government of socialists and communists, of the crisis caused by thecoronavirus pandemic (COVI-19).

To the disaster of management must be added the ideological use it makesof this crisis the government to change the constitutional regime fromwithin, and establish a state of a totalitarian nature. Not for nothing theMarxism uses the principle of disorder to subvert the order of theliberal democracy.

This is reflected in everyday life. Rules are implemented to preventfree mobility of citizens, and are constantly changing independing on age, business, and job types. Forces to closebusiness by arbitrary criteria of power using asI argue the guidelines of a superpower unknown to datewhich is an expert commission appointed by the government itself.

My translation

Spain is a current reference of how a country enters into a social and political disororder due to it´s socialist government management disaster of the pandemic of the COVID-19

Do to the disaster of management the socialist government takes advantage of the ideological implications which is to change the constitutional nature of the country from within
(yo añaderia ” like the Troyan horse,” suele captivar mas a la mente) and establish a totalitarian regime.
Never the less as we all know through history,Marxism utilizes the basic principle of disorder to subvert the normal order of a liberal democracy.

This is reflected in everyday life, rules are implemented to prevent free movement (no “mobility”) of citizens and rules are changing depending on the age of each citizen and their job descption. Buisnesses are forced to shut down based on a higher entity that is unknown for the citizens but directed by the government.

Tobacco shop story


Pretty close from the Spanish Tabaco to the English… So we have these where
I can also tell them the company of my prepaid card dinosaur cell phone and charge it.

Here I´m standing in line
And no I´m not the one sitting on the floor I´m the one without a mask.

A person around his 50´s comes from my back and asks
“Are you waiting in line?”
No I´m just standing here to stare at the sky
“Yes sir” I reply.
The sir, ” You know you can´t go in without a mask”
You fucking A-hole
“Sir, there are no masks in the pharmacy”
Then I went into a rant about why did the mask matters, it doesn´t.
You can have all precautions but the mask is even worst, the virus will stick to your mask
and you breathing in. If people feel better….each to his own.
I just went off on this Sir. I was raised to have a certain decorum(I just like that word) towards older people,
but fuck that. (I´m 37 I always forget) Anyways, no mask you are an alien, and try to
charge the phone suddenly turned into a freaking horror story. I literally went off on this guy.
Fucking smartass dummy.

I´m a freak pretender( secret to writing great)

Army
was harmony,
freaky and sneeky
good song we have now
let us bow
to,
The Priest
I AM QUITING DRINKING TOMORROW…
pretender and no ender.

(I just put the fucking potato on hot water to have it boiled and make salad
and this came to mind, probablythe words I read or heard in youtube, freaky that it
suddently popped into the head while being in the kitchen a bit less pretender
you know you can always surender, My mental process, If I repeat it over and over again
it will stick into my head and when least expect it, it comes up, there ya go the secret
to great poetery….=

That is me(video)

But I am more prettier than that guy, the guy descibed me. Seems I´m not the only one,
7 a.m Spanish time, woke up at 5, wrote my incredible novel and at this time watching this
and I have no clue how these youtube guys made me end watching this, no clue how ended here.
Hey ladies I was in the military and I was great in bed, or that is what you all told me….
(Just dumping on you posts saved because of the freaquing quarantine also reading as most
I can, wich is a lot and a real pleasure)

The lesson is obviously to keep your act together. Still fighting that act.

No cigarettes!!!! and a bit more


On my last cigarette and is only 7 a.m in the Land of the wild bulls also known as Spain.

I just saw in the comment section a person that liked my post about yoga, go to her blog,
and yes it is a her, then comment hopefully I didn´t insult her. Something about eating Bamby the deer
(She is vegetarian) and that my yoga clases I only went because of hot women. My back still hurts also.

What a house am I living in, people come people go, the “ex-girlfriend” fucking the Marrocan 15 meters
wway from my room. Was that a girlfriend? She proclaimed it to the airs…. polar bears.
But I´m the one paying the fucking bills. They are quite sneaky though. They are good.

Another guy sleeping in the vacant room left by the Brazilian guy who also fucked my “ex-girlfriend”,
you tell me what the definition of whore is. So they moved another guy now into that room….
And I´m paying the bills.

Humans, might as well laugh at it unless is very necessary to get serious and that is not to the advantage of them.
Humans… what else to complain about? Ha! No money, no food. But my center space is my cigarette.