dating

7 lies woman tell their partner!!!

You women, you!

A Texas A&M University study, people a.k.a woman, admitted to misleading their partner a 1/3 of the time. Here are the 7 most common lies and why they do it. And this is according to Susan Shapiro Barash a psychologist, and a woman, you have been betrayed by your own specie. Go and kill her, I would if I where you. So I´m going to paraphrase this incredible woman, a gutsy woman, my hero.

The lies may come from a place of compassion, or may just be an attempt to please or placate you, you men! We have to watch out, make a cool group, the United League of Man in the World that´s the title I chose so we stick with that. We have to fight fire with fire. So listen to these seven common catch phrases, get you B.S detector out and call her bluff.

1) This dress was on sale. No it wasn´t, it was probably half off!! if they negate spending they will reduce the odds that you´ll blow up at her about blowing the budget. Often taught by the mother to always down play. They´ll do so because often they think that we men will judge them for their spending habbits(and we do) and think that it was silly or frivolous. So they´ll lie to make you think they are not a liability.

2) You have the biggest penis I´ve ever seen. No you don´t, you´ve seen bigger. This is what psychologist call an “altruistic lie”, they say this to shield you from embarrassment. (Although I don´t mind this lie though). But most woman have at least one ex-boyfriend that was hung as an elephant. So unless you are seriously packing some serious sausage, you probably aren´t the top dog. They actually may convince themselves that an inch less is quite similar to the other sausage. The thing is that it doesn´t really matter to them all that much(I doubt about this one) but it matters to man so they will just stroke our egos.

3) I´ve only slept with two men. Yep, sure, more like four. Most woman can spout off their past partners as fast as us men can spout our fantasy league roster. So no, the chances that a few guys from college just don´t accidentally get lost in the shuffle. They will minimize how many sexual partners they had, mostly because they want to see pristine. By doubling the number of what she says will probably give you a more accurate of her past. Women will say that that one didn´t count because it lasted a few minutes and they where drunk, o.k, but you still fucked the guy.

4) I don´t want anything for our anniversary. Sure, and you also don´t want to win the lottery. They don´t want to seem needy or demanding but inside ofcourse they want a dozen roses or those expensive shoes or purse or whatever else. They expect us to read their freaking makiavelan minds.

5)I´m not in a hurry to have kids. Guess again, maybe she´s not gunning to get pregnant ASAP, but somewhere in their brain the clock is counting down. Since they know the majority of us men don´t like to be rushed that if they try to push us we´re going to be turned off she will act like everything is cool that the little biological clock is not ticking. I believe the best thing is to buy her a dog or cat something she can take care off. And remember gentleman, always always pull out at the last second.

6.) I´m totally cool with your poker nights. Lie, the guys night out…it may give her permission to see the re runs of sex in the city of hours but her biological nature want´s a committed partner and to be around him a lot. Problem is that since they know we relish our freedom so they don´t want to seem needy, they won´t be totally honest about your commitments or what she expects from you time-wise.

7) I wouldn´t change anything about you. It´s her mission in life to try to change you! If your partner starts sounding like a Hallmark card, she genuinely is expressing her love except with a little exaggeration. Since when it comes to the big picture women will rarely rock the boat especially in a committed relationship, but the fact is she does wish you shred off those 10 pounds,maybe 20, have a different job, do different things and maybe not be so cheap. But these creatures are smart, since their mental calculations will tell her that is better to keep her mouth shut since she has more to gain by doing so rather than if she bitch about everything every minute.

So this is what happens when you have a yahoo account for email,you stumble upon great yahoo news. What a creatures these specimens are. Still love you though. And men, you know, beware. Thank God I´m not good at long term relationships, very good as a past time though. Just like fast food. But after stumbling by that article, I´m actually quite glad they just use me for the sex part and having fun. Getting deeper than that…pain in the ass, don´t know how other dudes do it.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

 

Doctor Love. What men really want.

There is this blog by a woman(check it out) called datingdramasofathirtysomething, she´s fun to read. She wrote a piece called What woman really want, and I made the fateful error of commenting on it, so she challenged me on writing what guys wanted. So here you go, this is what guy´s want. I´ll go quick and to the point. And maybe a little crazy.(The letters you see in bold are hers, and then is my reply.)

1-If we love our mother,you love our mother. And the other way around, so you say woman express extreme opinion about other women…that´s the freaking problem, going down the middle of the road is not that bad of idea. Plus you put us in a situation where out of the blue the other girl is going to be pisses off because the guy went along with what the girl said. Screwby that.

2-To be told we´re beautiful. Not on the days when we are feeling low, because we know you´re saying it to make us feel better….Say it when you mean it. Maybe we do mean it when you get out of bed with your hair all rattle up, that is love.

3-..Being dependent on us is a strain we can´t always handle. We are not your mother. That would be a gay guy, but at the end of the day if you love a person you share things with them and support each other. Tell Bill Clinton and Hillary, tell me if those two were´nt dependent on each other to win, maybe this is a bit extreme example but somebody should understand it.

4-Answer the damn text message, Make the promised phone call.That would mean we are dependent on you, you don´t really want a guy that is constantly drooling over you.

5-To be proud of you. Don´t drink to much. Don´t embarrass us by drinking too much.. I can´t be a good candidate  to challenge this point, but I will say that you woman will be proud of your man even if he makes a dick of himself, that is love. Then in private you can smack him around, but in public defend your man. He won´t be always perfect, neither are you!!

6-Nothing is more attractive than laughter… Agreed, although there is a fine line by crossing to the side of becoming the joke of town. So we men have to be careful, and some man are not funny and girls find that sexy, and what the fuck….it´s not all black and white.

7-To be confident in our relationship. We may pretend that we don´t care what people think, but we do. Don´t openly flirt with our best friend in a room full of people… What if we are just being funny and cordial? It´s not flirting it´s being cordial you take it as being a dick and that is your insecurity, if you really believe and know your man love you and only you, you won´t even notice that.

8-To be kissed…and by someone who knows how….. That takes practice so if you get a guy who knows how to kiss you, it´s probably because he´s a man whore, like me, so you pretty much feel your way with whatever woman your with, make her see the stars.

11-We can smell bullshit a mile away. Do yourself a favour and don´t lie to us. Know this is a put down for men, we smell bullshit the same mile away, or maybe even more. Of course we´ll lie, and you know what you will believe it because you wan´t to believe it. Most of the time though.

I´m just writing little fragment´s from her post, and she has 15 points to make about men, there interesting and funny, so I´m being maybe a little…tell you the truth a can´t handle it more. I´m getting a headache. We don´t like to be told what to do, we are men and as men we rule, unfortunately for you we are the majority in the global world, meaning the successful majority. And at the end of the day girls will always be attracted to bad boys. And when I say bad boys I´m not referring to rock stars, I´m referring to a guy that has two good pair of balls, know how to take care of himself,is confident with himself, helps her in what she needs, and he´s the Alpha male. Period. That´s what the fuck is the love doctor is saying after I just got back again from the hospital. But when I saw that comment and challenge I had to write.

Best chat-up lines.Ladies be advise.

In my little crazy library I have a lot of crazy things that involve a lot of crazy subjects which as a crazy person I´m duty-bound to share with the rest of the world. There are around 65 million people in wordpress and my guess that half those people are following me and will be reading this. Here we go, I do this for the male and female population.

Guy: “Can you catch, love?”

Gal: “Why?”

Guy: “Cause I got a couple of balls coming your way!”

……………………………………………………………………

Guy: “Excuse me but I think I dropped something.”

Gal: “What´s that?”

Guy: “My jaw.”

………………………………………………………………………

Guy: “Do you work with computers?”

Gal: “Why?”

Guy:Because I think you just turned my software into a hardware….”

………………………………………………………………………..

Guy:”Hi, you want to know my name?”

Gal: with confused disgusted face “What,why?”

Guy:”Had to warn ya cause you´ll be screaming it all night long”

…………………………………………………………………………

Guy:”Excuse me, can I take your picture?”

Gal:”why?”

Guy:”Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas this year.”

…………………………………………………………………………..

Guy:”Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past again?”

Gal…..no response.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Guy: “I was so enchanted by you that I ran into that wall over there so I´m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

………………………………………………………………………………….

Guy:”Do you have a ban-aid?”

Gal:”Why?”

Guy:”I just scrapped my knee falling for you.”

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Guy:” I think you just got a parking ticket.”

Gal:looks annoyed confused

Guy:”Really, because you´ve got FINE written all over you.”

……………………………………………………………………………………

I´ve actually used this one, it does work.

Me: “Can I borrow you cell phone?”

Gal:”What?”

Me:” I need to call God and let him know he´s missing an angel.”

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Warning to male or female. For the male population try every one of these, and for the female population humour us.