They all know me (unfortunately) and where I live, it is a small town plus I got another
drugdealer pedlling his shit from the room that is about 15 meters from mine. Anyways this
other drug dealer named Enrique says I owe him 75 euros. It might be true actually, but I still
remember the time when he had a big ass guy getting me from the back closing my arms and Enrique
is going through my pokets and got 25 euros from me. So today at 8 p.m I walk down to the supermarket
I hear a yell I turn and here comes Enrique. He is the bad sheep of the family (like me) I know
his brother, great guy. Hard working guy in the world of selling (legal things that is) and he paid
for the whole nigh the party. Now his little brother Enrique….Little 27 he has, so I go up 10 years
up on him, I walk down to the supermarket, I hear his voice, I turn he comes we talk…..
Suddenly a punch in my left cheek I didn´t even move it was a weak punch. I just look at him and actually
told the guy ” go again”.
Lessons learned for me, the next time I´m the one that has to act first, I know how he fights.
Although I don´t want to go to prison now when my mother is cáncer ill.
Lessons for normal people- quite obvious you know it, don´t get drugs and specially get in debt with a
drug dealer there is consequences. I can deal with this nutjob, phisically that is,he gave me a punch
and when I just looked at him and calmly said “go again” he knows what my true reaction can be.
And I actually smiled at the idiot.
Another lesson-smile at life! And never let people bother you,
your choice how not to let them.
I´m just sniffing that floor,
with a whore,
sorry I´m not perfect nor are…
I just realize I turned on YOU, just making friends….
thinking people read this,
on my behest you´re a mess.
Got half gram of cocaine
for those who didn´t read me,
I live in a shit town-be
I didn´t purchase actually,
the other guy when walking to the supermarket-
He yelled at me? aaayala aa yala!!!!, just marrocans here,
but I can hunt a dear…….XWZ
Hit it so let it be-
What the fuck do I do with this half of gram of cocaine?
Sniff it out? Sniffing in? Sell the thing?
Might as well throw it to the trash, and not get also hash.
The idiots still give me-thinking…who knows
Not for me selling, nor yelling, nor sniffing,but:
The idiot just threw half a gram to the trash,
I confess I did sniff that mess, just one
and that is done.
COCAINE!!!!! No good ending end.
What a diary this thing….got to make it more….tell me something I can
write to score!!!
That is a good fucking face
and the head is not so much of a disgrace.
I don´t even know now if what my mother was telling me is true or not,
but the fucking alcohol just makes center in? ME. Only me only me,
pisses me off. But I did took that decision to be a drunk, so I own it.
Hopefully I can get out of this one, and to tell you the truth writing
is my saviour. I write, and yes I drink, but I don´t think about anything
else. Which it is quite selfish on my part. I´m that smart.
So the mother she says tomorrow to hospital, and I´m just thinking about alcohol.
Not normal. Also, I´m with a whore. I don´t say that disrespectly each person
to his or her own, I also decided myself to be with this one. I own it.
Funny thing for me is that yesterday while talking on the phone she is actually
fucking a guy. Gives me something to write, this shit is not normal.
And why? Because of the fucking alcohol. If I was sober I wouldn´t give
two thoughts with this bitch or another….you know brother.
I do know. Since when I was sober I couldn´t hear this idiot talking,
just can´t, but drunk…. let her fuck the other guys here there and think
I´m not aware. Not kidding, it is her job but does pisses me off that she
plays me like I don´t know. I do know. And again the alcohol talking and
I could work more on this writing passion I have.
Sorry, it is my story, cigars I smoke in each photo, I want to be in a porno.
I do look handsome I should say, that wil stay.
Fuck, sweating like a pig, do pigs sweat or is just a Spanish saying?.
Alcoholic, it is 7.27 a.m, I´m waiting for the supermarket to open at 9.a.m.
Sweat, not sweet, I´m about to kill some misterious creep.
It´s a fact
Hard as hell in my body and specially brain
But at the end I will gain
Like the time in my life wasn´t in alcoholism time with this pain
It will take me time
Even if I´m broke mentally I´ll take that dime
Seven crucial days of not smoking,
not drinking, detox of my own, in bed.
Seven crucial days of no medicine for my addiction,
normally is tranquilizers but not this time, I had to deal with my own mine
of, irrationality, tremors. Seven days have passed, and like a cave man
I got out to see other caveman. First get out of bed, shower, e.t.c and move
out into this world of wild animals. Thank goodness I had a room and a bed this time.
maybe is the cocaine tabloid
this shit is making me insane
is just me to apprehend
still writing though
it´s 3.18 and 45 seconds a.m.
writing my imbecile heart
for people to laugh at my art
or maybe i´m sort of smart
deal is sealed, i do have to write it
love to write
so fuck it, you were right
I keep on forgetting that I can´t change
was I my mamma boy?
or I was a disgrace?
now if i think about it….
both, and I just can’t go deeper
does it sound like am high?
I love you, or not
just having fun writing
it´s the almighting
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