Here I am smoking my cigarettes, living in a house with criminalists.
And here we go to embarass myself:
One- I´ll read you but not today… or maybe, so you should feel thankfull.
Two- I was supposed to see my mother in the hospital today,but I´m drunk and high
so is not a good idea, and she is pissed off, I am ashamed, alcoholism is
degrading for me and most important for the people surrounding me.
Three- We all know life is not fair, just get over it.
Four- I have no clue how my mental state works. I go from 0 to 100,
there is no in-between. I will save your life literatlly, it´s just in me.
But, the great but…. I should haved gone to see my mother to the hospital,
I did spend 7 days with her, no sleep, fighting with the nurses normal things..
but I get to this house
and I just slack, I see YouTube videos, write a lot, read a lot, and my guess
is that I try to avoid the reality of my mothers situation.
Five- I said I avoid the reality, yet I do keep some sanity, and when I really
have to be the caretaker in this case, I just do it, talked with dad since when
I told mom that I wasn´t going today she got pissed off which is more than normal,
but the father(the one who came to my great military parade after I finished basic trainig)
the man actually understood me, I was the one taking care of her, he has to live
his life and make the money for them, and surprisingly he actually said that he would
talk to her, basically putting his ass on the line for me for her to be more comfortable.
Six- Charly….stop with the drinking and get your ass moving, did it,
so why not now? Get the fuck up you Charly idiot.
Got to get out of this diary thing. Just pissed off at me really.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.