cloud computing rational conversation

So this conversation actually took place during today´s meal.

“Did you received the email?” My mother asked me.

“What email?” That would be me.

“You know the email of akjjaf”

“No”

“Why?”·

“Why what?”

“Why don´t you answer.” She keeps on.

“I told you I didn´t receive the email.”

“Why?”

“Holy shit mom, why again, why what!! why I didn´t answer or why I didn´t receive the email? If I don´t receive it I can´t answer.”

“Oooo, so it´s in one of those clouds.”

“What cloud? You´re going a bit nuts here, old age?”

“No.” She says very seriously. ” Didn´t you know there are clouds, well it got lost in the cloud.”

Me “What got lost in a cloud, and what cloud?”

“There are clouds.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You send emails and they go through clouds, I guess this one got stuck inside the cloud” She says pointing towards the sky.

Me Let me swallow this conversation for a second…..

Mother .

And some people wonder where I get my random ramblings……it´s her fault!! I´m just a innocent by product.

 

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses

 

Just me not knowing what to write about……

You have been….busted!

You drive I pay….it´that simple !

As an old wise man said (a.k.a me)…….so?

As a great Spanish Stallion said to a lady ” You look like art, no the Mona Lisa sorry, you´re a perfect piece of art
and you know why? Art isn´t suppose to look nice, it´s suppose to make you feel something.” She looked at me like I was just let loose from a zoo and almost ran away. Then I went and had a couple of shots of this beauty right here but I came back to charge another lady, hell to me they all are beauties, that´s wrong. Anyways I came back with this face and said “Sweetheart,never forget you´re a miracle”. She just laughed, but I think it was more because of the stoned face I had. I did add a couple of puff puff the real magic dragon into the ecuation.

By the way my family tells me I look like a criminal, well that place I´m at is not 5th Avenue for sure, but criminal? How the fuck doe a criminal looks like….I have no idea but if that is so then look at this I´m a smooth criminal, a mastermind really , a little secret from the picture of me in the black shirt. If you look closely to my left or to the right of the photo right where the white jacket is, there´s  one of these right next to me on  the bench but rolled up into a brown paper. I´m just smooth, told you a mastermind.

I even have made my dogs drink what a drink normallyshe has good taste.

So I have decided to dress always nicely a buy a yacht to sail back to the U.S, I´ll have my friend over here smuggle in a bit of  you know what, and don´t let the stature fool you. He´s a mean S.O.B.

So my hero? You ask, I answer, my friend Aly boy .

Now, I have just killed this that little bastard had me running around the garden for almost two hours so her death was slow and very painful. I´m just inhuman. And then have a great cigarette outside this beautiful house of …. not mine with the two beautiful farting pissing shitting beast that are…not mine while I talk with my “contacts” back in New York, you know what I mean?

Damn this is random…..

I´m a narcissist
hanging photo´s of me to exist
you can´t resist
this beast!
Yahoo, news, they said it was going to be sunny
that was a crummy idea to put out, I´m freezing my tale off
and can not keep in a cough.
I´m a smooth criminal…look
Not being to subliminal here but I just feel like…hum hum hum
for me, I´m kinky even without my whiskey.
I like to do now the funky chicken dance
screw the trance
there you go with my flow there is no snow yet,
so let´s forget.

Am I that bored today? Let me think…..

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses

Who said suicide was easy?

 I´m going incognito here, but man. This suicide thing is hard. I don´t know how people do it really.

This morning I decided to hang myself. But then I started looking for what I have seen in the movies you know, a simple piece of rope. I didn´t have a fucking rope in the house! So then I figured ties, and can you believe this, I don´t own ties. I think I haven´t worn a tie in years, not that I think is that I just haven´t. Doesnt´say much about me to tell the truth, fuck am I talking about killing myself…go figure. Anyways, next option I figured was to get pieces of shoelaces tie them up one to each other to create a rope. Bu the problem after that was that it was either too short to reach the fan or too long and I actually touched the floor. Then the freaking fan broke and I had my mother chasing me around the house with a broom. Hell that was scary. So I completely failed with this hanging thing and decided to take a rest since I spent the better half of the morning with the hanging ordeal until my mother chase me away with her not so magic broom but when I was going to the sofa……  The bastard had taken it already. At least he is a patriotic dog though. He´s from Spain but as you can see he has change allegiances to the U.S. Even though I try to put him this t-shirt my old cool army one on the bottom it says Spanish and on top Army. Then the eagle….that one just gives me the willies.

Back to the subject at hand. I figured I should jump out the window and get it over with. Hell, I´m afraid of hights. I couldn´t get my head too far off from the window. But I was persistent and I persisted and finally……………………………..bam! That´s exactly where  I ended up. On top of a pile of wood. Which did the cushy thing, look at the aftermath, yeah that´s the freaking aftermath. My mother again, she comes running down yelling like crazy saying I just screwed up her nice piece of rubble of wood and put me to do slave labour. (ladies don´t get to excited about that sexy body) I told her “mom I was just trying to kill myself so I jumped” She looked at me as if I was nuts, and told me she didn´t care that as long as I was under her roof no matter that I´m 32 (that´s a long story how I ended back at this age with them, but I do tend to disappear for a while one in a while…..that´s also some stories) anyways point being is that I ended like this after the fall, and she could care less, that´s even sadder. I felt insulted really. Does this woman really love her son? At least she could shoot me. That´s what I told her, and she simply replied that then she would be the one going to jail so no way Jose, if I wanted to shoot myself then i should do exactly that shoot me with me.

So a loooong day so had to take a rest but then I saw these……… pills and pills! along with a cool fuet which is what distracted me from the real thing. I was going to go for the pills get an overdose and there is the fuet, here a closer look to one it´s from the region of Spain Catalonia and is a thin, cured, dry sausage of pork meat in a pork gut. It damn good. So that distracted me, I eventually ended up eating three of those and I was so full and groggy it seemed like I couldn´t even open my eyes  after that. Man was I tired.

So now it´s 6:40 p.m and I have decided to hell with it and to keep on smoking like a maniac that´s why I got these, yep,they are all contraband cigarettes, they taste like shit but their cheep and they weight this much

 

So as of right now I´m just going to do the funky chicken dance.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses

Why that badge of honour?

Gays: Why that gay parade, or saying I´m gay and proud. My uncle died of aids he was gay, I was with him his last 2 months in the hospital me and my mother rotating every 24 hours up until the day he died. We never talked about him being gay, he was the kindest person in the world you can meet. He would actually take me out to buy me clothes( when he was in good health) telling me that I dressed like a plumber. He would spend hundreds of dollars for his screwed up nephew. I hate shopping, bores me to death looking at this shoe and that shoe, come on are they white? That´s the only thing I want to know about the shoe. But I went along because I knew he enjoyed doing that for me. And the man laughed his ass when I started telling him my crazy stories with girls and some stories of my drunk stuppors. He always shook his head and said “you´re a mess, clean it” but the man couldn´t stop laughing. Even in the hospital my mother would tell me he asked about me when I wasn´t there. Great person. But not because he was gay, but because of his character.

I could care less if your proud of being gay or not, you´re a good person then great, your an asshole then your a gay asshole. Just like straight people. Just be you, I know the stigma about gay for sure with some people, I have no problem with it, so I don´t understand what the hell is that “I´m gay and proud” what the fuck, should I say “I´m straight and have sex like a wild bunny and proud and even my mother calls me a man whore” no. I don´t. I don´t see the badge of honour of being gay. The rest of the world does not have to bow to you or give you a pat on the back. Just be you and you´ll find people around that love you for who you are as a person. Just pisses me off when some of those people say it as in wearing that badge of honour.

Vegetarians: I have to feel sorry for you, you will never get to taste the Spanish paella and that should be a crime. But again why say, I´m a vegetarian and wear it as a badge of honour. What do I care what you eat or don´t eat. I don´t care. Eat whatever you want, don´t expect me or the others to follow your crusade for whatever reason your doing it, but why say it as in being proud. I don´t go and say, “I´m a MacDonalds addict, I´m a cow eater”. Each to his own and stop lecturing me about what to eat and not and why I´m cruel because I eat meat. By the way have you ever saw a poor person being a vegetarian….I haven´t. Why don´t you go and lecture to the poor Makumbos over there in Africa and tell them not to kill their chicken because is morally incorrect to kill animals because they have sentiments. I´m sure it will go good for you, they´ll probably chase you out there with a stick at the very least.

I could ramble on but….I hit the two targets and that´s enough. 552 words. My fingers get tired. I´m sensitive!!

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Dilemma on my hands(be advised can be offensive)

Aaaaaa! fuck. This sucks I just want to throw some rocks to my roof and to the neighbours as well or drop them into a deep dark well or drop me into a….fuck, my butt hurts from sitting down or laying down for about 23 hours of the day or maybe even more because I have a broken ankle who does has an uncle and his name is boring. It´s been 26 days like this.

It takes me forever to shower, as a matter of fact I shower twice a week the rest of the week I pass by with baby wipes. Just for the simple fact that doing it apart from taking forever I tend to fall in the shower or the other day stubled and hit the glass door and broke it, so if nobody is helping me it´s a fucking mess. And like showering and brushing teeth, with all the other chores either I can´t do them or if I do them I return back inside the house as if I had ran a marathon, tired as hell. Boring, I read, I write, I watch some t.v, fuck and I like it but damn I also like to go out and take a walk or go to some bar or fuck a chick.

Problem, my parents live in a lovely house but it´s in the middle of nowhere and you need a car just to reach the nearest town which is 2 miles away. I could walk if I could, already did it more than in 100 occasions. I was suppose to move out this month though. Had everything prepared to move out to room with some  other people in the house. Nice people, working people, not the other types I can be with. They had wi-fi, I could plug in my little t.v in my bedroom to watch the t.v in English, the town is a good town which means is not like the ones near my house which is full of fucking Moroccans selling dope, stabbing each other and the bitches that move around those circles. But hey, right now I´m about to call one of those whores and meet up with one of them. If you have money and you pay for drinks and whatever else they want, sure, they´ll meet up. Not the best, but is pretty much the people that I know around here, have known them since little. And as a matter of fact, have lived that life for quite some time.

I´m a hero anybody knows that? Yep, I was a soldier once and deployed( so that makes me a hero) so have been in worst situations but fuck me this is boring as hell. Might as well call a whore if I had my own house or if I lived in that little room I was going to rent for this month if it hadn´t been for this set back of the broken ankle, which at the same time it would be kind of strange for the other people living there seeing a whore walking in although I´d probably have some funny outrageous and semi logical explanation as to why a whore is in their house. I did get a whore to visit me to the hospital when I was there for almost two months. And fucking while you have the iv´s on….damn that was something. You should have seen the faces of the nurses, and they still loved me after that. Crazy Charly, and laughed at the incident. They couldn´t had more fun seeing that in their whole careers. I was giving them the gift of laughter(at me or with me either way was laughter) everytime they came into my room I would say  some random thing or flirt with them. I do tend, not for everybody, but for a lot of people make my mistakes funny and innocent and their quite some fucked up mistakes. But the way I say it and express myself….well, they end up dismissing it. Others just hate it, but fuck them. I´m far away from perfect but I´m quite certain I have more heart and better heart than quite a lot of those people who love flowers, animal tree hugger and kings and queens of morality.

I just need some release! Even in the army you had to release, and most of the time it was when you didn´t have to work( I was infantry), well it was going to bars getting drunk, fucking anything that moved, and when deployed, fuck me the relieve sometimes was just to shoot your gun in anger or get drunk back at base. Yep, we Spanish soldiers at that time we didn´t have such strict rules with alcohol as the Americans, we would get drunk as a skunk after a 1 month of constantly being vigilant and if we had a couple of days off when we were relatively safe inside the base for 24 hours a day without going out, then yes we would get fucked up.

Now if I do go out, it´s a also fucking boring in the sense that I can´t jump from bar to bar seeing some people. I have to stay in one unless I want to call a cab to take me 300 meters up or down the street. So that´s another inconvenience.

Anyways to be or not to be an asshole today? That´s my dilemma. Or better I should have said to act as an asshole not be one, since i can act as one but i´m certainly not one. Certainly by my standards that is.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

What´s the reason for sleeping?

Can somebody tell me why humans sleep. I don´t see the point in it, you don´t do anything except have dreams. Which are just fantasy, although I have to say I do like some of my dreams, a bit kinky but hey at least those are the fun ones. But apart from that what is the whole point of sleeping, productivity in the day is degraded by this monster. Why God or if you don´t believe in Him why in the world did either He created us with dreams or that evolution was also a bit screwed up since it has let us with 6-8 hours of a 24 hour a day being in a comma. So what in the world is the reason for sleeping?……Just a thought I had after waking up from my nap.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

What rhymes with orange?

I´ve been thinking…..first  just the word sounds ugly as well as the colour. I have never seen a house painted orange. Well I just went to google and saw this . Where in the world is this house at? Probably near the North Pole would be my guess. As far away from civilization as possible, for the simple fact that one people will be blinded every time they saw it and second, it´s just ugly as hell as well as health issues for human being.

And what rhymes with orange, can you create a poem around the word orange….

I ate an orange
that was in my storage
that I grabbed from the hills of blorenge
in Whales, which in the plants was the sporange

Actually only two words Blorenge and Sporange actually rhyme with orange. And sporange doesn´t even appear in the Merrian Webster dictionary and that his the holy grail of dictionaries, had to look that word up in the urbandictionary.com.

Just seems to me like a boring word, and who in the world invented that word that´s what I would like to know, did he or she, probably a she, just to make life even more complicated (just kidding). Anyways, it´s boring, sounds ugly, and Merrian Webster doesn´t have it. Just thinking…..we can petition those nutcases, the ones who are in charge of making dictionaries, who are those people by the way. Do they updated words every year? And if that is the case what does that mean that people invent new words? So you can actually invent words. Going back, we should petition to take that word out of the dictionary and burn that house in the process. It´s already giving my the hivy jivies just looking at it. Just ban that colour, how many people do you see walking down the street wearing an orange jacket and trousers, I haven´t seen any. So why have that colour in the first place?

I invented a word by the way and is not even in the urbandictionary, and it is my pride and glory that word which is “screwby”, makes sense you saying screw you while saying good by or dismissing something or someone and all roll into one. Why don´t they contact me and put that word in Merrian Webster, who are those people who decide what words are worthy and what are not. What are they the King of words, no there is only one king and that is King Kong. So screwby them.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

What should I write about……

Hello there my name is what? My name is who? Charly is me and my friend is Winnie the Pooh, I sit around the most of the day, getting high on pain medication, then writing but my mind is gets clouding, Claudet, if I have a daughter I will name her Claudet. Sounds like a medieval old English type of name from a Queen. Imagine that, me having a kid, the freaking thing would probably start walking on her second month just to get away from me. Good thing of that is, that I would have created an independent person. Don´t know if she would be a Queen or turn up in the streets but she would be independent. Unlike me right now.

So….da da di da, what should I say, things do go my way, I read and write a lot that´s for sure. By the way I´d like to get a stripper, and now being a little cripple with a broken ankle, forgot also a bad back and pancreatitis, so I´m actually a full blown out cripple and I managed to get there at age 32. How many people can say that? Quite an accomplishment if you ask me, not the best of them, but in it´s way it´s an accomplishment. They should give me some type of price. A golden hen maybe, laying out golden eggs. Anyhow anyways, the stripper, yes, was going here and there so I need a stripper and she´ll probably do a discount for a cripple. Now that I think about it the government should make some law that for cripples so we can get free lap dances. Or just some hot woman that feels sorry for cripples…how many woman out there are like that, none. Women are mean, they should do me in just to purge their heart and soul and mind, actually I would be doing them a favour by purging them from their sins, sins or not, just the act of kindness to have sexual encounters with a cripple should be enough for them. Fuck, am I going hay wire over here.

Got a poem, want to read:

My name is Charly
I´m a manly man
I have two dogs
I ate Spagetti today,
for, a second day on a row
now I´ll shut up.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

They have stole my face !!!

aaaaaa!!, wordpress just stole my face. You know that beautiful face that appears on your comments section or in the like´s, yes this beautiful face  her you go look at that beauty. Well I tried to change it today and what the hell now there is no face, I see the changes are made in the section where you change your face and actually I can see the new face I was going to put up( I´m a narcissist) in my little bubble there to my upper right hand corner but only in certain pages of wordpress and then I go to hit like or comment on somebody and only appears a strange green square other times it appeared  also a green creepy serpent. And went to the forums and they actually found the instructions there as to how to change that face and the gravatar thing or what not, and I did it correctly the freaking wordpress people told me so in the web, it said “changes are completed you may return to you blogging” or something to that effect but key phrase is “changes are completed” screw that, what changes I just wanted to update, and don´t ask me why because now that i think about it is stupid and a terrible idea, well I ma a narcissist did I say that?

Actually I wanted to update a bunch of stuff really starting with that change of the face for this other beauty over here and then wanted to upgrade and see the widgets and gadgets and improve the blog theme or make it easier to navigate, but it all came crushing down when the basic most simple thing just didn´t work out. So I said to myself why start now looking to change or upgrade this stupid blog if it´s going to be worst than it is now. Plus what the hell, my little notifications thing on the top right still does not work if you hit a little section of white thing comes down so I actually have to type out wordpress.com/notifications, in order to respond to comments and my statistic page went also blank since now they seemed to have changed to another name so I have to type out instead of going directly from the dashboard I have to type wordpress.com/my-statistics. What´s with these fuck up´s, they´re worst than me. Starting to aggravate me. Now that I have all the time in the world with my broken ankle to sit around the whole freaking day even my butt hurts from sitting down so much, it has even gone to sleep on several occasions here in this stupid white chair while I “improve my wordpress experience” improve what? Every time I make a change it sure changes but for the worst. So forget about touching the widgets or gadgets or whatever the hell they call them. I´m not doing anything. I´m faceless now, and I actually like it. They said it would take two hours to change at most, that was at 8 in the morning and here is now 20 to 8 in the evening. Stupid wordpress, making the pain in my ankle go to the extremes now, going to sue them for malignant something, something malignant.

I´m actually going to hit my own like button and see if I see my freaking face which I doubt, by the way what´s with people and showing their faces? Never understood it, but i did do it also, and now i want my freaking face back, i don´t want a creepy strange box, I want my face that way easier it is to disgrace. But I want  back my face, and scared shitless to touch the widgets and gadgets and next thing they tell me this wordpress  people saying they have upgraded this or that, fuck them, I´m not touching anything.

Now puff puff goes the magic dragon, I´m the narcissist dragon by the way, so now I have 3 faces of me in one post. I´m actually thinking of putting faces all over. I want my face back wordpress people, don´t know why i need to put up a face but i do, so give me back my face. And screw also this computer, runs slower than I do right now on crutches. Damn I´m bored.

bored to the snored
wicked Alfred the snipped
ching chang is my wang
wang bang you go mam
I´m you man
screwby

 

Keep on judging (rant!!!)

This is my rant, spilling it out after your stupid remarks
not living any marks but still feels good to let it leave the
system.

I keep on telling you how great and proud I am of you and more praises
what do I get in return? But stupid childish little phrases.

I´m 32 baby girl I have lived quite a live that you may know about since
it´s pretty much written down in the blog but really have no idea the emotional
toll in which you get to scroll but that´s cool with me so be, my decision to live me,
i´m a survivor, i´m a fighter.

There is this saying that goes ” people that truly love you will never try to change you because
of their own insecurities” well, you are pity with your own insecurities that you try to
translate to this mate, now way is that happening would be head stomping.

In your fucked up country, yes I did say it, seems either it´s only you or the freaking culture that makes slaves out of people, well hear this, in western world is not even a near miss compared to that hiss

In my world,you are, and specially in my family, you are expected to grow and although family will be there to lend a hand,
you are expected to live your own life to strive in your own way, to be what maybe for you in your own mind,is strange but is called being INDEPENDENT, that way we might ascend it, the ladder of life and also fall from it and then get back on it, but not on the back of your parents since that makes real insecurities parasites.

So I´m sick and tired of textes and emails of you telling me how to live my life, when you have no clue about the REAL life, and even worst contact my mother, which to tell you the truth that seems to me a bit nutty bordering in harassment if it isn´t already quite steady, so get the hell out of my back and let live people as they want to live and not tell them how you want for them to live, specially coming from a girl that comes from this curl of her great mansion, I might no have a mansion but I have my own expansion, good and bad of life choices, but at least I made and make choices unlike you, boo boo, so go smoke a  cue if you got this.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.