Aaaaaa! fuck. This sucks I just want to throw some rocks to my roof and to the neighbours as well or drop them into a deep dark well or drop me into a….fuck, my butt hurts from sitting down or laying down for about 23 hours of the day or maybe even more because I have a broken ankle who does has an uncle and his name is boring. It´s been 26 days like this.
It takes me forever to shower, as a matter of fact I shower twice a week the rest of the week I pass by with baby wipes. Just for the simple fact that doing it apart from taking forever I tend to fall in the shower or the other day stubled and hit the glass door and broke it, so if nobody is helping me it´s a fucking mess. And like showering and brushing teeth, with all the other chores either I can´t do them or if I do them I return back inside the house as if I had ran a marathon, tired as hell. Boring, I read, I write, I watch some t.v, fuck and I like it but damn I also like to go out and take a walk or go to some bar or fuck a chick.
Problem, my parents live in a lovely house but it´s in the middle of nowhere and you need a car just to reach the nearest town which is 2 miles away. I could walk if I could, already did it more than in 100 occasions. I was suppose to move out this month though. Had everything prepared to move out to room with some other people in the house. Nice people, working people, not the other types I can be with. They had wi-fi, I could plug in my little t.v in my bedroom to watch the t.v in English, the town is a good town which means is not like the ones near my house which is full of fucking Moroccans selling dope, stabbing each other and the bitches that move around those circles. But hey, right now I´m about to call one of those whores and meet up with one of them. If you have money and you pay for drinks and whatever else they want, sure, they´ll meet up. Not the best, but is pretty much the people that I know around here, have known them since little. And as a matter of fact, have lived that life for quite some time.
I´m a hero anybody knows that? Yep, I was a soldier once and deployed( so that makes me a hero) so have been in worst situations but fuck me this is boring as hell. Might as well call a whore if I had my own house or if I lived in that little room I was going to rent for this month if it hadn´t been for this set back of the broken ankle, which at the same time it would be kind of strange for the other people living there seeing a whore walking in although I´d probably have some funny outrageous and semi logical explanation as to why a whore is in their house. I did get a whore to visit me to the hospital when I was there for almost two months. And fucking while you have the iv´s on….damn that was something. You should have seen the faces of the nurses, and they still loved me after that. Crazy Charly, and laughed at the incident. They couldn´t had more fun seeing that in their whole careers. I was giving them the gift of laughter(at me or with me either way was laughter) everytime they came into my room I would say some random thing or flirt with them. I do tend, not for everybody, but for a lot of people make my mistakes funny and innocent and their quite some fucked up mistakes. But the way I say it and express myself….well, they end up dismissing it. Others just hate it, but fuck them. I´m far away from perfect but I´m quite certain I have more heart and better heart than quite a lot of those people who love flowers, animal tree hugger and kings and queens of morality.
I just need some release! Even in the army you had to release, and most of the time it was when you didn´t have to work( I was infantry), well it was going to bars getting drunk, fucking anything that moved, and when deployed, fuck me the relieve sometimes was just to shoot your gun in anger or get drunk back at base. Yep, we Spanish soldiers at that time we didn´t have such strict rules with alcohol as the Americans, we would get drunk as a skunk after a 1 month of constantly being vigilant and if we had a couple of days off when we were relatively safe inside the base for 24 hours a day without going out, then yes we would get fucked up.
Now if I do go out, it´s a also fucking boring in the sense that I can´t jump from bar to bar seeing some people. I have to stay in one unless I want to call a cab to take me 300 meters up or down the street. So that´s another inconvenience.
Anyways to be or not to be an asshole today? That´s my dilemma. Or better I should have said to act as an asshole not be one, since i can act as one but i´m certainly not one. Certainly by my standards that is.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.