love

I have a fake Facebook account

This proclaimed girlfriend of mine in my fathers Facebook just put a Facebook acount of me?
Seems so.
Does this person wakes up everyday thinking how to destroy not only me but others?
Seems so,
Well I don´t know if she realizes it, but there are legal consequences.
which she could care less obviously,
I could be a dummy, but I do surround myself with people that know,
and those people are no dummies.
Check it out, she also said I got her pregnant, go figure that one out, talk about crazy.
The Facebook account it seems it is called Charly Priest, check it out and tell me,
I´m not going in to that for sure, after her BS and just her destructive nature
not only against me but twoards others, and herself if she keeps up with her crazy,
I just keep the distance, although she is good at being a whore, can´t think of other names,
yet hopefully she realizes that there are consequences to her actions.
And no, she is not going to win her little battle.
Don´t make me get serious would be my suggestion.

The conversation

I know my father, because of my late mother.
Didn´t have the cushy mushy relationship with him,
nor I don´t want since I know his personality. I try as well he tries without mom.
Having a relationship.
Said some truths to the man, he got pissed, mother was good at putting
it in a way he wouldn´t get pissed. Yet when the time had come, you
as a person would not cross mothers line. She would say it as it is
and probably kick your ass. Same thing today with him, I´m not perfect obviously,
just take care father, basically is what I told him. He did get mad, but that´s o.k,
I know he loves me in his own way or whatever way it is for this man.
Holy shit, loosing my mother at my age of 37, and I have been through the ringer,
than most of you all to tell the truth, but mother was the rock.
Now adjusting to help him, and him help me.

Scared

I rarely get scared, to the point of not be able to function… never has happened actually.
I get scared like everybody, or maybe less than most of people, just wired that way,
Yet today,
I call my father to his cell phone, he lost his wife of over 50 years recently,
call him, no answer, call the line phone and no answer. It is a Saturday at 10 a.m
so he is normally awake by this time, just scary thing to think that after loosing my mother
now where the fuck is my father, he finally calls and tells me were he was.
Kind of funny his version that is.
Just a big relieve to hear he is alive basically, I was thinking the worst after he told me about his
physical problems, tough tough man this one. Not a cushy type of person, nor I want him to be, nor
I have any daddy issues, but at the end of the day he is the only family I have left. He tries his best
to deal with me ( probably mom told him this is who your son is so support him), normally our phone calls
was
“How you doing Charly?”
“Good”
“O.k, I´ll pass you to your mother”
End of conversation and I think it´s normal, it is for me that is. He tries his best, but fucking christ,
this time me (now the roles are reveresed) checking on this guy and not be able to communicate with him
scared the shit out of me.
( Why don´t these wordpress people put a line mark or whatever you call it, I write it in “private” and
the lines seem to be o.k, when I publish it they are all messed up, but dad is fine, so lets get the wine)

Why father why!!!

Why father why-
We said recently to mom goodby,
Why father why you don´t pat me on my head?
I know why father- You are not that type
Nor I need it, believe it, I know you believe it
That is why I love you, mother told me to love you,
As who you are and you are a great man, supporting as best you can
Why father why!!!! Why are you such a great man?

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

The one person

Try to follow my train of thought,
You should because I bought…you
One person gave me directions which I don´t follow them often-
Too often.
I know I need an outward input for me to function in extreme circumstances
Since those are my only chances,
If I stay alone writing, reading, that is good but doesn´t give me food nor makes me feel good,
I will drop dead in front of the computer or the bed, not completely dead since I do write,
But at the end of the day in order for me to feel alive I need that outward extreme input
From the outside, be it very drastic, I need the harshness from the outside to push me,
Interesting thing, when it happens, I function with a controlled adrenaline, I just function.
Better than most people, yet make me do the bed or buy this in the supermarket,
I´m a nuissance. But you won´t consider a nuissance when I saved your life.
Kind of weird how my mind is wired up.
Only because one person saw it in me.

Read ya all alligators innovators, about to shut my internet, might ass well get this out, why?
No clue. But will try to read as much, you are the such.

A new down


The sun is going down
I frown
No money at all
What will happen next month at the mall
Now my father after loosing my mother has his problems
Good to hear his voice, we are not sensitive type of personalities
but in our way we love each other, or at least he tries to be the best under the circumstances
after loosing his wife off 50 years, I do check on him every day to see
literally a falling dismay,
try to not bother him that much, he is not that type of such,
I hope he gets out of his pain, I know it is hard, I just knew my mother that
raised me for 37 years, I block it out and this was too much information
yet, who gives a shit. (Was this a poem?)