dr. What you see?

Doctor! What you see?
Me
No, the goddamn bee!
It´s to early be calm
Calm…you want a slap of my palm?
It´ssss…..
Get out of here to your heavenly dear.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

I´m Himerus so screw Cupid.(pic´s)

Yes, you heard me right. I´m not a real priest I´m Hiemrus the Greek God of sexual desire. I and I think cupid is doing a disservice to the world. First of all he is not this cute little boy now you know why I hate him in part. And not only for his physique, it´s because he created this concept this elusion that usually is not true which it that one of “True love”, it´s a fake concept to confuse humanity, love is as true as you think it is….so there is no true love. So he really has made women miserableand they too hate him.Although this girl is one of the few who thinks straight. Sorry but. Anyways, I´m just warning people both male and female because it seems to me what he does it´s a bit over the edge bordering if what psychologist term as psychopath. It´s no wonder woman have started going to the armory and there has been a increase in gun sales .  He´s doing a disservice to humanity so I the great Himerus have to step in and try to correct things and really shut this idiot down so enough of him,he´s gone.

 

I have two forms, my godly form and my humanly form, which either way are both appealing and women get it, they even study it in the university What´s happening now is that some women and men I should point out are a bit off the radar with all the gadgets we have now a days, people are constantly looking at the palm of their hand mesmerised by something that I don´t understand. That goes for men too. And there are other men that are also a bit off to tell you the truth come on, what are you men thinking didn´t I have teach you enough already? Once I go willy willy wink wink, you have to go back to getting smarter.

This is what happens to me when I enter the world as a God I will admit it gets a bit over the top and scary, but you have to man up and keep moving forward just spreading the love. Although is nothing new to tell you the truth it´s been going on for agesand no, they where not seeing Elvis, that was me on stage giving a speech at Harvard. I thought they would be nice girls in Harvard but they seemed to go a bit nuts when I entered the stage and started speaking. I told them about Cupid and all but they just where in going for me like nuts. Then I have my other me, the human me which is wonderful and the background I created that myself with a patriotic American shirt, I went “Puff” and that cover behind me and the dog house appeared and girls when the saw that you know…they where so amazed and actually I felt a bit bad for them but it was tears of joy. Guys, I´ll tell you something you want wiky wiky bam bam and make them become a cougarthat´s her, the girl I´m with right now, she´s funny, sexy,smart, and love sports because of this hold on I forgot, hey nobody is perfect even the Gods of sexuality what can I say…….yep, I remember now here is tip you have to do it, funky chicken dance and also she has to see you healthy although once in a while she has to see you as a bad boy well maybe that´s a bit harsh, but one of these it is o.k to do. Bad boy cigarette time. Marlboros if possible and tell her turn around you have something on your back……………..SMACK! Who´s your daddy now!! Tell me, tell meeee!!!. So know you know me Himerus and the secret to my success and the failure of that slum Cupid.

Stay Frosty gent and gentesses.

 

 

Yesterday is history tomorrow is mystery…..

When I first heard that line I thought what a stupid line. You should be prepared and plan for the future, or at least the very least plan for what you´r going to do tomorrow. But the next second I had a next thought, which was what a stupid thought was the first thought I had.

Yes, whatever happened yesterday it is history. In the pure term since you can´t go back in time and reverse your actions or words. So that brings you to the next day which whatever you have done or said you don´t really know what the outcome might be in the near future. You might have an idea about it and be prepared but you can´t be 100% sure. So the unknown unknown factor enters into play.

Quick example. In my younger days, not that I´m old now, I´m 31, but in my early twenties I screwed a girl and a couple of weeks latter she´s telling me she´s pregnant. I jumped on a boat and started to paddle my way to the North Pole, maybe see Santa Clause in the process. Problem, it was too far away and my arms where sore of so much paddling so I decided to return back and confront the situation. I did pee myself in the process I have to admit. I say, take the test I´ll go with you. And mind you I knew this girl from a couple of weeks, a fuck buddy you can say. So out we go, she´s more reluctant than I am. Which got me thinking, either she´s making this shit up for some machiavellian principles in her nutty head or she´s doesn´t really know and she´s scared shitless. So that makes two of us. We go in the clinic we come out the clinic. I´m smiling and she´s pissed. The reason she said it, because she saw me with another girl. So she basically wanted to scare the shit out of me. Which she did by the way. She wanted to get back at me. I thought, wasn´t you who said nothing serious here? And then, my happy thoughts of still being a single 20 something year old with no hard commitment like taking care of a little monster turned into anger. I wanted to choke the girl, right there in the middle of the street but there where too many people around so I couldn´t do it.

Now, then there are external factors that are completely out of your hands. So you have to have a basic war plan if you will, and role with the punches, adapt. Being a bad thing or a good thing that comes your way. Maybe luck comes your way, and you have to be smart enough and be prepared enough to recognise it, seize it, and take advantage of it. A lot of times luck comes our way and we´re not even aware of it. Some tragedy, or bad things might come your way you also need that basic war plan to be prepared for it mentally. But you really never know what tomorrow will bring you.

Just another random thought.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

Can they legalise murder, please.

 Can you imagine if they legalised murder…..that would be great.

I have a theory.

People will be much more happier when they legalise murder.

You´re walking down the street and you see a woman getting robbed….just take your gun and blow the bastard away. She´ll feel much better.

You´re walking around and you see a woman being sexually violated…again take out your gun and blow the idiot away. She´ll be happy happy.

You´re next door neighbour is pissing you off with his stupid dogs barking at the wee hours of the morning, just kill the dogs and the owner. You´ll regain your sleeping habits and be a much more productive person instead of waking up all groggy and with no strength.

Your spouse is giving you a hard time….just kill her or him. Why go through the hassles of divorce when you can just get rid of them in a fast manner.

Your crazy ex girlfriend, talking about myself now, is still calling you after more than a year…..kill her. I would be making her a favour since that way she won´t have to spend so much money on  the cell phone.

You have sex with a girl and she says she got pregnant because of you….just kill her. You´d be making her a favour since she would be living latter on a miserable life with a kid she didn´t want to have with that father. And you also would be making the kid a favour. Who wants to be born as a bastard? Nobody. Win win situation.

You go to the bank to get a loan and the guy denies it, just strangle him to death in the middle of the bank. I´m sure that by doing so the other tellers in the bank will think twice when you finish killing this guy and then go ask for a loan to another guy.

Your having sex and the girl complains about your sex magic…shoot her dead. The next one will probably tell you how great you are.

Your parents are giving you a hard time because they say you don´t perform well in school….you know what to do kids. Just kill them. You´ll be rid of that annoying voice of your mother telling you that you are grounded and you can play the Xbox or whatever they play now a days for the rest of your days.

You don´t like your president…..rub him off then! They´ll put another one that does what you want.

People will feel so much better, and the families of the dead people then they will kill you and then they will heal their hearts. I just don´t know why they don´t legalise murder.

Just a random thought.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

I love you Sara(poem)

 

 

I went from flower to flower until I met you.

Once I met you I thought I would hate you.

 

A friend introduced us some ten years ago,

and since then I really never have been able to let you go.

 

I love you Sara.

 

You where always there, when I cried, when I was angry, you understood me supported me in times of crisis.

You where reliable and never let me down, I hope I never let you down when all that his his started and I´d give you a kiss.

 

Remember how you helped me and my friends?

 

For that I will always be grateful and graceful.

 

People said you where cold,

but not old.

Really you where like gold.

 

They said you where made of corrosion resistant material,

but screw them you made people crunchy as cereal.

With your five five six you made bad people sick.

But we always got a kick out of it.

 

I watched through you´re eyes,

not the skies,

but dead bodies and more lies.

 

You made me cry, laugh, angry, but you where always there I could always count on you.

I love you.

Sara I do.

I sometimes miss you.

 Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

 

Bathroom Time!

I like bathrooms. Actually I find strange the people who don´t like them. I love opening that door, that black wooden door, and what´s behind it? The mirror. I open the door,take a step forward look up  and almost faint. I see that person in the mirror, that gorgeous person. The Spanish version of Brad Pitt is staring right back at me. And it´s me!

Jesus, so beautiful. They should make a statue of me. Same like they did with David of Michelangelo.  Put me up in some part of Italy, the Vatican comes to mind just like an angel. Looking below at the souls that have to be saved. So everybody could look at me and see the naked truth………….Fuck it, now that I think about they should put my naked statue up for auction, I prefer strangers have a nice look at my naked body but paying up at least.

I love sitting naked in the toilet or was I call it, The Throne. Me the king of the world sitting there with my cigarette in hand blowing smoky little circles into the precious air that smells like roses, since it´s me who´s throws out that gift to humanity.

People go to yoga classes, meditate, do acupuncture and they feel more relaxed.  Well, my way of relaxing is sitting on The Throne. Puffing away, farting away…won´t go much deeper, and then staring at the white wall. But for me is not a blank stare, I see ideas printed in that white wall. It´s like the protons and electrons from an Atom. Left-right up-down. The creativity just flows inside my head. All the ideas, and when I say all I mean millions sit right there in my head. But I do have to discard some and keep the best ones ever made in the time that humans have been running around our cool little planet earth. So when I finished whipping, I throw the cigarette into the wastebasket and then jump into the water falls. In my case is the Niagara falls. By the way who in the world called it Niagara. Can´t they just say`water flowing down deeply´. Always have to put names, strange ones to everything made or God made and if you don`b  believe in the Man upstairs what humans made or destroyed….whatever.

Ha, I almost forgot, and this is a true little fact.You know that dude that felt into the Niagara Falls and survived. The poor bastard died ten years later when he slipped  on a banana peel. That´s fucked up.

Getting back to my Niagara falls a.k.a Shower. It´s my water fall, I get in there with the water as cold as I can get it just like a big tough Russian jumping naked into the frozen lake and all the good ideas freeze and stick in my head. The rest just wash off. Then I wrap a little pink towel over my naked body, take out my note pad and scribble down like a mad man all the ideas into the white paper, which now is richer than before. Then I develop them into what you are reading right now. A real Peace of Art. God bless bathrooms, the ones with mirror and shower not the shitty third world country ones. No ideas popping into my head in one of those.

Let us all thank the man who invented the idea of the bathroom. Wherever you are….I thank you. Or maybe it was a girl who knows.Let the bathroom be part of your life, meditate, think about how your life is going, all those important things apart from taking a piss and a shit.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Best sentences yet to be read.

-Contrary to what most people think adversity doesn´t build character, but rather it reveals character.

-The fish stinks from the head.

-Loyalty above all else except honour.

-Once you hit rock bottom you can only go up

-Make love to the nigh.

-Peace through brute force.

-Let the smoke sometimes stay in my ass not always get to my head.

-They  call them smart phones but only dummies use them.

-I can see you!! This is glass I´m looking through.

-Donating your eggs is equal to the exchange of currency.

-Hit everything that is not nail down to the ground.

-Meet love with love, meet fear with force.

-Humans default mode is complacency, many fail to commit to  developing their natural gifts.

-The “she” factor. Ladies! I´m a MAN, Booyaaa! Acting like a man that is a man.

-If you´re obsessed with security, you can´t leave free, can´t do nothing.

-Depth of commitment until death.

-If your going to hell just keep on going.

-I just go to hell and regroup, I never die.

-All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never ever be boring.

Best advice a man can give.

Patton Oswalt once said,  “So when you spot violence or bigotry, or intolerance of fear or just garden-variety misogyny , hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think the good will always outnumbers you, and we always win.”

Sounds good doesn´t it? is it practical? You know what I say, SCREWBY!

I prefer to say “Good will will never outnumber you, but good strategic violence of action will always win” or “I will fear no evil for you are with me”. Sounds practical in the real world? ….You make the call.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Banana pudding and rough sex=life success.

They say the way to the heart of a man is through food, not very sure about that but if you mix a bit of banana pudding with some rough sex I can guarantee you, you´ll have my heart. First off, bananas are great protein products and rough sex keeps your heart pumping thereby you are doing some cardio, which will decrease you chance of high cholesterol or high blood pressure and increase you chances of living up until you are 100 years old . So that is the key to a long and prosperous life…Banana pudding and rough sex.

Why a prosperous life you might ask. Easy, beassy, (don´t know what that means). I do know that there has been a recent study by some little brainy person in Harvard that if you have sex more than 200+ times a year you are more likely to be a much more happier person. So this led me to think, if you are happy happy, then you are probably more sociable, and probably have more stamina to get your ass out of the couch and go find a job, or get a promotion in your work. You can be the jack of all trades, a renaissance man, the next Bill Gates which just this simple formula.

So ladies I´ll encourage you for the sake of humanity, for the sake of world peace and world order that you´ll start baking and some rough sex added to the equation. Believe me, happy people don´t go to wars, so we got that solved. Happy people are more likeable so we will live in a much better society where everybody will be walking around with a big fat smile plastered on their faces. The world will be a much better place, scratch that, the world would be a perfect place with just banana pudding and rough sex.

10 Things that give me brain sneeze.

The earth, round and majestic the kingdom of God. But there are days that I get brain sneeze from practically everything and anybody in this kingdom of the Lord.

1-Mother why in the world will you be running around the kitchen with a piece of cloth swinging it in every direction as a mad woman trying to hit the damn flies?!! Jesus, buy some of that killing spray and spray it in the general direction thereby preventing me from getting dazed by one of your un human swings that tend to end up hitting my head.

2-Woman, why the hell are you so complicated. This girl gave me her number, I didn´t force her. I called today and noooo, she can´t go out this Sunday, she will call me she says. So she says. She says bull sh…t. I´m gonna become gay. Go fags! Woman should be second class citizens, just sweep and clean and get a bean so we MAN can eat healthy, add a burger too.

3-Why do I get pancreatitis and I´m walking around with a freaking tube protruding from my stomach all the way into a little bag I have attached to the end of the fucking tube. It looks strange, I look strange, I look sick like a junkie. Fuck me.

4-Why the hell does my next door neighbour dog starts always barking at 4 a.m? What a bastard, just stop it and let me sleep since that´s the time I normally go to sleep, fucking asshole.

5-Can´t it be legal to kill some people that piss you off? There are a lot of us in this planet, who cares if I get rid off a couple or dozen.

6- Why don´t I fuck more, I use to be quite the fucker, I was good at picking up girls. I lost my freaking mojo. Fuck me.

7-Why don´t I get published. I´m the new Shakespeare in town. Fuck the publishers.

8-I´m tired of the stupid Spanish t.v programs, their soap operas and they last for the hole evening and late night. What´s wrong with my country? Fuck the Spanish t.v.

9-Why don´t I have enough money to buy a a computer that won´t take 2 years to load each page, why did the government fucked up so bad that we are at 27,2% unemployment and that´s the official number they put out go figure what´s the unofficial one, guarantee it´s higher. Fuck my Mackingtosh and the government.

10-America, or Mr. O bama, wama paronama. Just bomb the shit out of Hassan or whatever the hell his name is out there in Siria. If the Iranian´s get a little cookie about it, bomb them too. As a matter of fact Just carpet bomb the whole Mesopotamia who cares. They can´t seem to get their act together. They´re either bombing the infidel of the western modern world or their chopping each head´s off. Fuck´em.  I´ll re enlist back into the army at age 30, with a fucked up back, pancreatitis, tube protruding from my stomach. Won´t even need a rifle this time,I´ll just hit them with psychological warfare when they see me. I´ll hit them in the head with my little tube. What´s wrong with these people?Fuck me.