mother love

Something is wrong with me

9:30 a.m, the phone rings. I ask myself who would it be,
I wake up from bed check phone ID and is my father.
My mother passed on the 14th of this month.
They been married for 50 plus years.
My mother was the one who raised me since dad was always traveling,
I don´t have recollections of him being in a soccer game or just overall
being around as a kid. Very few very few.
He asks me the same question as always “How are you?”
Me-“And how are you doing?”
Him-“Good.”
Normaly that would the extent of the conversation really,
but I know he has something in his mind, so I change the subject
to his work. When mother was in the comma I basically got in his face
and told him “You have to focus on your work now 100%”, although I did use some curse words.
He acknoweldeged and since for me he has always been superman, it now weird
for him to reach out and talk to me. That was mom.
So he calls me at 9:30 p.m I think it was weird, I get him to talk about his work,
and he broke down. I still have trouble crying, only now if I write about it,
but it seems I´m extremely well at putting it in the back of my head a tragic situation
and leave it there in a box and concentrate on my day to day things.
So he broke down, and what was my response? ” I have to go to bed now and get some rest”
Today he seemed better when I called him this time, that´s our relationship and I still
can´t figure out why I can´t cry and I started reading a book, forgot about everything
and went to sleep.
Something is wrong with me when you take into consideration I was the one with her until her end,
she was the one that raised me and the greatest mom, I have even blocked out images of her
death, and other images of her laughing with me, cooking, whatever. I blocked it out.

Read you all later you alligator and innovator

Rest in Peace Mom


R.I.P mother, in Memoriam.
3.44 a.m. June 15 2020.
You just expedite us bad people on earth,
but doing your own rehearse
we´ll get it done and gone
as you told us
like a faisty nun…. move forward!
Quite wierd seeing you, kiss you in the forhead and gotta move on,
dad was already awake when I called him and the rest is done,
you are gone,
but you were a crazy damn hell fire of a strategic missle to begun.
Rest in piece mom, and don´t give God too much of a hedeach.
Love you to death. Which seems it finally reached that point and me… yep you guessed it mom,
like the idiot just writing it in public, for the consumption, don´t worry mom
I´ll get some money out of this writing shit even from a nun.
Lets make our nice face more fun,
I promise I won´t fuck more things, I´ll keep focus
as you wanted. And your husband too, calm as always when I called him now, we´ll be good,
you have no idea the legacy you left us. You did raise me by your own, now I´m alone.
But no crying mom, I know you even got pissed off with me crying, me or father, not in us,
love you.

I am complete


Sorry about that one “Steffany”, got to get my head a bit in the right direction, not much, just a bit.


Me


Me

Me

I´m not complete, army days where fun( for me at that point in life) but if I have to be complete it has to be,
shelfessly loved and me loving her ( I know that much I love her) the great and only

M%M women, that would be mom I know…

She´ll put you to work, and no bullshit if you piss her off. Although I do think I can piss her off and she still love me.

Now I am complete.

pure love

You know it, you feel it,
the love for a mother is a blessing
for me that is, now I also have my computer
broken so I´m actually writing not pretending
from the computer of mom. I might have to go later
to the hospital and check how things are going,
not boring a bit depressing,
but gotta have that smile on your face,
so read ya´ll later you animator!

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

how can you not like this man?

After seeing video of video of him
how in the world you can´t respect him?
He makes it so easy, team player also that earns respect,
dribble to sible,(and more) even the “great commentarist of football”
(probably my grammar was wrong) have to say it.
Video, hit it! I know I posted a lot today, I also read your way.
It´s thanks anyway. I say!
Hit the video! Or on YouTube, they don´t let me pubish it here.
Fucking dummies,( so if you want go to yooou the tuve))
and this is my little tribute for mom. I do know she is
a bad ass and doesn´t want to see her son being a pussy.
But this is my strange tribute.

Sorry mom?

Look at that beauty! seeeeeexy!
I told you yesterday,
today
I was going over to your new house and help with packing-unpacking,
You called me at 6 a.m.
I don´t sleep like a man,
neither do you by th way
but you know my mental hay is in strange bay.
Sorry?
Not so much it seems
since I have been telling you I´m going to many times and then…lost in the mental hay
So, I can´t be all that sorry, but yet I am sorry for not following up with my Word.
I have things to do in my life to survive and overcome.
The great poetry is done.
Love you, I´ll try to be there tomorrow, who the fuck am I talking to? She doesn´t read this

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

the one single…and she does not mingle

Yes, it is my mother, I´m 36 years old
She has cáncer, is not your problem? Na, mine
I probably got some of her, if not I wouldn´t go into the army.
Proud of that part of my life.

The mother,
I was almost crying like a bitch when today I phoned her,
and she said ¨ I don´t need you to motivate me, I motivate my self,
got it kid?¨

There are many women out there, but, she is the one.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.