mothers

How to be a mother

Only in the U.S…. I was watching Fox News and this woman came with an app
to help new mothers. It seems it´s not only her, there must me dozens and
dozens of web pages that guide you, you the mother.

If your kid starts hitting his head on the wall, you ask the app what
to do and the app will tell you what to do.
If the kid starts eating the house plants you ask the app and the app will
tell you what to do.
If the kid curses you ask the app what to do and the app will tell you.
All in the benefit that you(the mother)is feeling well and also make the kid
understand that he is doing something bad but that the mother does not lower his
self esteem.
Having an American friend that’s about to have a baby, she sent my mother,
(not me I wonder why) all the webs she was looking at
as to how to be the perfect mother to create a perfect kid.

My mother…. well if I started eating plants as a kid, she would put a cactus there
and after I ate it and cried of pain, she would say, ¨Keep on, you keep on eating¨
If I hitted my head on the wall she will just smack me on the back of the head and
ask me, ¨ You like the front of your head hurting or the back of your neck?¨
If I cursed, either I got a slap or literally soap on the mouth.
I got the points.

To me it is so un-natural. How to become a mother…Jeeeesus, what a fucked up generation.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

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mamas boy take on mama

Today is the day,
In Spain it´s the 5 of May, mothers day,
I´m sure there is no galaxy
that is like my mother so pretty.
Hold it!
she did at age 18 almost 19…
“You fucked up the university, you are out”
Or something to that effect but with a shout,
I do remember that.
I was to cool to go back to school,
having studied in the U.S and two friends in the U.S Marines
I got one job, another, got bored, always my adrenaline over a normal score,
I decided to join the Spanish Legion, at that time it was my religion.
Died? I´m writing! So no but close, went in vacations to cool fucked up destinations,
in strange nations.

It looks like I´m writing about me, and that is true,
one reason,
without explaining me at that time and now, I can´t explain my mother.

Lets make it quick….not really

Mom Alert!

You do what is in your best interest
You also can do that and help people
You have to be strong or you perish
Do what you love is very important
Enjoy the trip (to some extent if I´m in the army and deployed)
Fuck everyone else and be you, because YOU (me) are worth it
You screw up it´s on you

Basic values, she is the strongest person I have met,
not because she is my mother
she is a tough mother- fucker.

P.S. Crazy, she hates my writing shit, but I´m her mamas boy.
P.S 2- I saved her life based on what she tought me.
P.S 3- No baby crap crying.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

A normal conversation with mommy

I´m waiting on a line of God knows how many dudes, I can hear the guys on the phone
telling their family members what you always say in those cases when you´re about to
get deployed and you have signed the cool letter where it states that in case you die
over in that shitty country where are your belongings and money going to go. So there
I am standing in my cool uniform and pain in the ass since it´s over 100 degrees Farenheit
people are already starting to insult the guys in the phone booth to hurry up, I´m one of them
who is throwing out insults while you hear the guys saying “don´t worry, it´s safe, no problems,
I´m strong, bla bla bla” So is my turn then.

Riiiiiiiing….now the phone is ringing. Quite truthfull to the real conversation but that did happen
quite a long time, but this is not too far off, believe it.

“Hello?” that´s dad
I tell him when is the date they have finally announce were going to be deployed, he tells me
that they can´t make it to the farewell, not strange by the way, and that he´ll see me when I come back.

In comes Mom.

She, “Hi, how´s everything?”

Me, “Good, gonna deploy again on the 6 of June”

She, “That´s what you wanted, right?”

Me, “I´m not complaining, I´m just telling you.”

She, “Well that´s good then, by the way, bring me some sand.”

Now my face turns probably a bit awkward since the guys behind me are staring at me quite strangely.

Me, a bit dumbfounded ” What?……Did you just said to bring you some sand?”

She, normal, as talking about bring me some apples from the grocery, ” Yes sand, just take a taperware
and fill it with sand.”

Me, ” What for? Why in the world would you want sand from that shit country?”

She, ” I have to show´em to my girl friends.”

Me, “Fuck, you really are serious.”

She, “Yes, just take the taperware and fill it up, see you when you come back, love you.”

Hangs up.

Now I´m standing there thinking to myself, fuck me, I need to go and buy a taperware and I have no idea if
I can reach the town or what. What is she going to do if I don´t bring the freaking sand?…. Now I´m really
starting to panic. Forget about people shooting at you, I need to find a freaking taperware and hope to God
I don´t forget to bring the sand. No crying, no be careful, nope, the taperware filled with sand. Plus
the conversation does keep you from thinking about stupid stuff.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses

Who created mothers?(poem)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Hon, the baby is crying
Love, no worries I´m not dying
Hon, you haven´t slept in months
Love, think of me like nuns
Hon, that makes me horny
Love, go buy yourself a pony
Hon, the baby is driving me nuts
Love, go out and play with those sluts
Hon, that´s actually a good idea
Love, you have no idea
Hon, the kid got in trouble in school
Love, I gotta double double so he looks cool
Hon, is this thing ever going to leave the house?
Love, yes but he´ll always be my little annoying mouse.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Thanks (poem-prompt)

write-a-poem-of-thanks-to-someone-who-would-least-expect-itPoetry Prompt 6 – An Unlikely Thank You | Pooky’s Poems

 

I don´t know how you do it

it´s probably boring to talk about this topic since it´s very used

but you are the one and only

solely you do it .

 

Just for me, you where the prom queen, you where beautiful, still are, you had a career in theater

and then you left everything just to take care of a young little monster.

 

You raised me all by yourself, went to all my soccer games, made sure I did my homework, feed me healthy food

and gave me unconditional love.

 

Why do all that?

 

I have no clue,

you´re like the colour blue

bright, always happy and the strongest person with a lot of clue.

 

Then I became a big monster, lived a life of hardship´s because I chose too, gave you headaches when I was deployed in some strange places of the world, drinking myself to death later on, getting arrested, but you……………….

Are still here. The colour blue. My colour blue. I love you………Mom.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.