real life

I’m filthy rich!!!

The phone rings and is a strange number. I hesitate for a second but I pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Good morning is this Charly Priest?”

“Yes who is this?”

“I’m Silvia calling from your bank.”

Now I’m thinking that this is not good, IRS letters, Social Security letters or calls
from either of them is not good, banks included. She keeps on going.

“You know your ID has expired last year?”

Holy shit, they’re going to shut my account down.

“Yes, but later this month I will renovate it.”

“Good, bring it to us so we can update. I will also like to tell you that we are
offering 4.000 plus $ as a credit to be paid in four years.”

Holy shit, 4.000$ plus dollars!!!! Shit for me this is being rich. So I tell her I’ll think
about it and we’ll talk. I immediately call my reliable accountant….my dog.

She reminds me that the bank that I have opened the account in the heads of the
bank are in jail for fraud, basically taking our money for their filthy pockets. I say yes,so what is
the catch then? I ask myself. Is there going to be such a high interest payment? Like a mob tax that you
can never really pay all of it and they have you by the balls?

Anyways I got to this conclusion, I get my ID renovated at the end of the month,
not as easy as you would think,here in Spain you call the police and they will give you a 3 to 4 months
waiting time. So I do that, then I go to the bank, sign the papers get the money, all of it,
leave the account with one dollar left, take a plane to some exotic iceland where 4.000$ dollars goes a long way
and if the police starts looking for me I’m in an exotic island that has no extradition.
I still have to refine a bit more the plan but that is basically the fundamentals.
In a couple of weeks I’m gonna be sipping margarita in some freaking island.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Fucking birds

Just a quick paragraph for you to tell … to your neighbour.

So here I’m sitting typing away and I hear a loud bang on the window,
so first off I thought it was the Moroccans throwing rocks, and when
I came out with all the adrenaline flowing, and by the way I don’t know where
I was going, I look from my balcony and see nothing. And as I turn around to get back
to the room or maybe it was the bathroom…like now. Just got back.
To get to the point, I look down and see a bird.
He was still struggling to be alive, meaning that I could see his chest going
up and down, and me like and idiot started performing CPR, since it was little
I just used one finger to push his breast up and down up and down, and,
he died. Thankgoodness the window was closed, or this thing could have hit
me in the nose. I did give him a good farewell, I took him outside and
since the Moroccans were there shouting to me some very creative names,
I just threw the damn bird on top of one of the guys. He didn’t seem to please as
you might imagine, but, I explained to him he was now a part of a special group named “man of nature”.
Why don’t they give me some sort of medal? This is the fourth time in
my civilian life that I helped. The first three were humans, and now the fucking bird. Jeeeesus…..

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.