satire

Unadapted

Electric cars have no sound;
Electric cars do not pollute
Electric cars makes my brain dilute-
Phones give out misterious sonic waves;
Phones sonic waves gives you as I have been told cancer
Phones makes me go on a pill called trance-er-
Computers are extraordinary
Computers give my writing a bit of fighting
Computers provide me mental sanitary-
But….not this 250$ computer that goes slower
Than a fifty year old lawn mower
The picture above shows:
My mental state
I´m talking to a ant
That I have nicknamed her Levant:
You have no clue what is going to happen with Levant the ant..world…

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Trying to impeach the dog (50 word story)

Five year old Lucas went running to his mom, he heard the word impeachment in the news.
He firmly told mom, ” The dog barks! Hate that.” Mom laughed and responded,
“Not a crime Lucas, you don’t like it but is not a crime.” Lucas cried.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

I feel overrated

I wrote a song about peace in the world;
about how to achieve this wonderful idea
leaders around the world suddenly had severe diarrhea.
Then called Mia,
President of the World, or PW for short
she send me an escort,
and here I am typing in her castle called Wonder Land
astonishingly this witch made it of golden sand.
I don´t disserve it, but I did it for you.
Now the world is more blue.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Yo, just chillin….

dscn2896
I just watching the U.S Presidential inaguration,
Just chilling here waiting for a margarita dscn2899
I see people like thisimages-2
and people like that images-1
Yo, I’m just chillin, hey Charly! bring me the Margarita and a cigarette will ya!
I want a drink
to think
let me begin
with my rapin
tired now
wanna eat a cow
my name is Tina
the cool dog
that ate a frog

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

writers block is a myth

Definition according to Merriam-Webster dictionary : The problem of not being able to think of something to write about or not being able to finish writing a story, poem, et.c.

DownloadedFile

First off, how in the world can you not think of anything to write about? I can write right now, look it I´m doing it now so  let me see…. I see a bottle of water right next to my computer why because it´s almost 30 degrees celsius, my heart is pounding at the thought that if temperature keeps on rising, and by the way it´s 12:25 a.m here in the land of the wild bulls I might get a heart attack. You know how screwed up it would be to die right now typing away. What in the world would my toombstone read, “he died doing what he loved, although at that moment he was hot as hell he was uncomfortable and had writers block so not really, he was actually miserable doing what he loved” This just came out of the top of my head. And with this I can probably write a short story. Now, if it´s a good one or a bad one that´s entirely different thing. But not being able to think of something to write about…come on. Is not rocket science. Just type away about whatever you see, a picture, a post in a blog, something you saw on t.v. Just hit the damn keyboards is not that difficult. I do have ten fingers and only use two to write. I´m that cool. I can write something right now about a writer who has typed so much during his life, a failed life of writing because in his mind he can´t finish a story and now that he is able to do so his other 8 fingers are not working so now it´s a tragedy, since it´s a painfully slow process and then just put some strange weird obstacle for that character to overcome.

Not being able to finish a story or poem? I can´t see that happening. Look:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
who are you
don´t know,
so screw you.

There it is, I just finished a poem. And a great one, at least for me, don´t care about what others say. How can you not finish a poem? Plus who in the world knows when somebody has finished a poem, if you don´t see an ending to it, I don´t know, just call it abstract poetry and write something random like this:

I don´t know
maybe you do
who you?
thinking of you
dark sea blue.

Makes any sense….maybe, maybe not. Maybe it has some insight in human nature or I´m just playing with words and playing with myself. Not in that sense though. Playing with my brain, so that´s part of me, therefore myself. And this piece of art is so cool that it won´t even go to school.

Writing a novel, that´s another science. But I can finish it, whether it turns out goo or bad, again that´s a whole other thing. But you sure can finish it, and if not move on to write some poetry or write some random stuff. Have fun, and once you have it, sort off has to come a bit more natural to write just about anything. So by strict definition, there is actually no writers block. I´m actually starting to think that somebody had to invent that to make people doubt themselves, then he or she created a bunch of miserable writers and he or she made a business out of making them take his or her classes to overcome the so called writers block. Sort of politics, you create a turmoil and then you enter the scene as the saviour.

Just a thought from an experience writerimages I have no clue who that person is, just stumbled upon it on google, while I was actually doing a research paper on pornography. I know, it´s kind of weird but I do  have to maintain by imagination open to all types of writing. Jesus, if there are porn scripts…do those guys ever have writers block. Never mind this last thought.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

Can they legalise murder, please.

DownloadedFile-1 Can you imagine if they legalised murder…..that would be great.

I have a theory.

People will be much more happier when they legalise murder.

You´re walking down the street and you see a woman getting robbed….just take your gun and blow the bastard away. She´ll feel much better.

You´re walking around and you see a woman being sexually violated…again take out your gun and blow the idiot away. She´ll be happy happy.

You´re next door neighbour is pissing you off with his stupid dogs barking at the wee hours of the morning, just kill the dogs and the owner. You´ll regain your sleeping habits and be a much more productive person instead of waking up all groggy and with no strength.

Your spouse is giving you a hard time….just kill her or him. Why go through the hassles of divorce when you can just get rid of them in a fast manner.

Your crazy ex girlfriend, talking about myself now, is still calling you after more than a year…..kill her. I would be making her a favour since that way she won´t have to spend so much money on  the cell phone.

You have sex with a girl and she says she got pregnant because of you….just kill her. You´d be making her a favour since she would be living latter on a miserable life with a kid she didn´t want to have with that father. And you also would be making the kid a favour. Who wants to be born as a bastard? Nobody. Win win situation.

You go to the bank to get a loan and the guy denies it, just strangle him to death in the middle of the bank. I´m sure that by doing so the other tellers in the bank will think twice when you finish killing this guy and then go ask for a loan to another guy.

Your having sex and the girl complains about your sex magic…shoot her dead. The next one will probably tell you how great you are.

Your parents are giving you a hard time because they say you don´t perform well in school….you know what to do kids. Just kill them. You´ll be rid of that annoying voice of your mother telling you that you are grounded and you can play the Xbox or whatever they play now a days for the rest of your days.

You don´t like your president…..rub him off then! They´ll put another one that does what you want.

People will feel so much better, and the families of the dead people then they will kill you and then they will heal their hearts. I just don´t know why they don´t legalise murder.

Just a random thought.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

Philosophy 101… my way or the highway.

Hi, I´m proffessor Charly and today is time for some philosophy. I feel philosophical. I feel like exploring the relativity  theory by…..ME.

LONELINESS

There is a difference between being lonely and solitude. I say that you can be alone without feeling lonely. Makes sense? Screw it, I´ll go on. Loneliness is the central and inevitable fact of human existence as we know on earth, so maybe just maybe doesn´t make too much sense to try and find ways to mend it, just to accept and find beauty in it. One can be lonely and whole at the same time.

Relatively, since loneliness is a negative for some people for other not,yet again another relative theory in that, but you go back and think o.k, yes you can be hole and lonely but in a sense can exclude that whole and not making you completely full or wholly.

LOVE

“I have loved to the point of madness, that which is called madness, that which to me is the only sensible way to love.”

That´s fucked up. Although it sounds good. But whoever said that he was a bit off, a nut job. Love is…I don´t know, feelings that you can´t understand why or explain them effectively is just is what it is. (So many is´s) But I don´t believe in it, sooner or later it disappears, very few keep it until death, and those few, well they are my angels. Go guard heaven. No relativity theory here.

FRIENDSHIP

When you feel comfortable with a person because you have something in common, that´s what some people say. I say screw that, it all depends. I´ve been best friends with guys and girls talking about everything depending in the context of the situation I was in. Real friendship, I don´t believe in it. Just like in love. I was friends with people, still am, but relations change meaning friendships change. So what is really friendship, there are various degrees and within those degrees it also varies so again it´s all relative how you see friendship.

DEATH

If you are a person of God you have not to fear it. Yet again people of God do fear death, why would they if they are better off in eternity? Playing poker with the Man, having a few laughs. Why would anybody fear death, or any believer fear death. Apparently it all comes down to being human. So relatively being human is an obstacle to being a believer since we have human instincts which is to fear death. So death and God are relatively intertwined in a matter that can exclude each other or not.

SEX

There is nothing relatively about it, that´s the good thing about this. You either like it or not. You either get it up or it stays down looking at the floor. Sex is a pure as anything can get.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

So I guess the premise of my thesis is that everything in life is relative, you can argue and contra-argue about anything, except SEX. You like it or not, up or down. Period.

That was inspirational.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

 

Little facts about life that will make you smarter.

Humans, we are complicated creatures. We create laws, we make wars,we fall in love, we fall out of love,we says stupid things. Our brain is quite majestic. We do have a beautiful mind….well sometimes. Sometimes we use it to wonder about things, but did you ever wonder about most of these type of things:

-Have problems socializing? Well, move to South Korea, they have a cat cafe where you can drink coffee and hang with cats for hours!

-According to the famous Infinite Monkey Theorem a monkey hitting random keys on a keyboard will eventually type all of Shakespeare´s plays. You writers still have a chance.

-Did you know that Cocacola  only sold 25 bottles in the first year?! But they didn´t give up….don´t give up you still have a chance of becoming successful.

-Did you thought about that at exactly 12 minutes, 12 seconds, 12 o´clock on December 12 it will be 12:12:12. So do something special that freaking day! Take your girlfriend to see the Niagara falls and when she´s leaning over the rail push her off…..Sorry maybe that´s a reflection about me.

-Did you know that since 1978 at least 37 people have died as a result of shacking vending machines in an attempt to get free food.

-Ever notice how most women problems begin with men? Men-struation, Men-opause…Men-tal breakdown!

-Did you know that the rhinoceros can ejaculate 10 times in a half-hour of a lovemaking session. What a bastard!

– Did you know that 45% of every dollar bill you have owned has been in a strippers g-string. Start sniffing boys!

-Did you know that it cost the U.S two cents to make a penny? No wonder the economy is down the drain.

-Did you know that you burn 6 calories getting your nipples to go hard? oooo Angie, Angie, why did you leave me like this, so thin and slim.

-Did you know that 1 out of 5 marital affairs have a facebook or wordpress connection? Men watch out! Women…just give me a ring or send me a message.(I just added wordpress, I lied)

-Did you know that broccoli is the only vegetable that is also a flower? Treat it well! It´s a rarety.

-Did you know that if you fail your drivers license 3 consecutive times in Switzerland by law you´ll have to visit a psychologist to explain why you failed? This makes sense, now you know why traffic accidents are so rare over there. There are no nuts driving around! Take a cue here you Americans.

-Psychology says you realize you love someone when you want them to be happy..even if it´s not with you. (Screw this one in my opinion, love them and leave them…way in the past)

-Just a thought…Are oranges called oranges because they are orange in colour or is the colour orange is called orange because oranges are orange in colour? It´s freaking confusing.

-Why does everyone talk about leaving a better planet to our children? Why don´t we focus on spewing out better little monsters for our planet.

-Did you know that Alaska has a law that says you can´t look at a moose from an airplane.?There you go for you environmental freaks! You´ve got your way!

-Did you know that Osama Bin shit face Laden was killed on May 1st. 2011 and Hitler  was killed on May 1st. 1945? Think about it……I´m smelling conspiracy here.

-Did you know that 70% of women ask questions they already know the answer too? Just tell the truth men, it´s over, we´re fucked anyways.

– Did you know that Mickey Mouse has only 4 finger in each hand and that over the years this has saved Disney million´s in animation costs? They are cruel. Where´s PETA now?

So here you go, now you have quite a knowledge that your peers around you probably don´t have. I just have made you a little smarter. Your welcome.

Stay Frosty people, and keep learning.

Best chat-up lines.Ladies be advise.

In my little crazy library I have a lot of crazy things that involve a lot of crazy subjects which as a crazy person I´m duty-bound to share with the rest of the world. There are around 65 million people in wordpress and my guess that half those people are following me and will be reading this. Here we go, I do this for the male and female population.

Guy: “Can you catch, love?”

Gal: “Why?”

Guy: “Cause I got a couple of balls coming your way!”

……………………………………………………………………

Guy: “Excuse me but I think I dropped something.”

Gal: “What´s that?”

Guy: “My jaw.”

………………………………………………………………………

Guy: “Do you work with computers?”

Gal: “Why?”

Guy:Because I think you just turned my software into a hardware….”

………………………………………………………………………..

Guy:”Hi, you want to know my name?”

Gal: with confused disgusted face “What,why?”

Guy:”Had to warn ya cause you´ll be screaming it all night long”

…………………………………………………………………………

Guy:”Excuse me, can I take your picture?”

Gal:”why?”

Guy:”Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas this year.”

…………………………………………………………………………..

Guy:”Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past again?”

Gal…..no response.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Guy: “I was so enchanted by you that I ran into that wall over there so I´m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

………………………………………………………………………………….

Guy:”Do you have a ban-aid?”

Gal:”Why?”

Guy:”I just scrapped my knee falling for you.”

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Guy:” I think you just got a parking ticket.”

Gal:looks annoyed confused

Guy:”Really, because you´ve got FINE written all over you.”

……………………………………………………………………………………

I´ve actually used this one, it does work.

Me: “Can I borrow you cell phone?”

Gal:”What?”

Me:” I need to call God and let him know he´s missing an angel.”

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Warning to male or female. For the male population try every one of these, and for the female population humour us.