I sit in silence, staring at a white wall.Blank.Just like my head.
Instead of thinking I just do a couple of blinking of my diminished
neurons.I just sit,cigarette in my hand,the smoke corrupting my lungs.
I sit and wait,for what is coming to wich I´m helpless.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
i sit typing in my parents computer, as the great son i am i came to take care of
their dog while their out,i should rewrite, the first sentence, i sit trying to write, suddenly:
The wrath of what it seems of a tiger starts biting my leg, her teeth sharp as razors, i cry in pain
she keeps going at it, I stop writing, I stop creating, i look down thinking of “what in the world?”
i see her, the little dog, i jump in horror, she is the devil, she then starts biting the sofa, she
goes on to bite the beautiful wooden oak table, and then she goes on to bite a freaking wall!!
i´m suppose to write but can´t,i have been hurt badly, my leg bleeding profusely and now
i´m limping around trying to catch this devil, so she won´t eat the whole house,
or swallow something….my head spins, i feel like committing suicide,
i think about how mothers can take care of children, what a heroes
those women are, but the devil is still biting at my bloody leg, sipping my blood, she is
the devil in disguise.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
P.S. Please pray for me so that when i can return to my place in one piece this Monday.
![kitchen-window[1]](https://charlypriest.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/kitchen-window1.jpg?w=300&h=225)
Another Friday of Friday Fictionairees by https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2015/12/16/18-december-2015/
He looked out the window and he saw what it seemed an army of police men,
from his left pocket he took out his Marlboro pack and lit up what would
be his last cigarette, he wasn´t going to pay again. He inhaled slowly the smoke,
he had no rush. They could sit there trying to negotiate all they wanted.
They didn´t know.
A loud gun shot was heard by the police standing outside. They quickly entered
and found him on the floor with the cigarette still in his mouth, the pack of
Marlboro in his left hand and blood gushing out of his head. A sneaky photographer
of the New York Times took a picture of the grisly scene and wrote a column
about the incident later on, making fun of the man.
In his right hand was a letter, the detective grabbed it and read ” I refuse to get fined
again for smoking in a public space, this overly politically correct bullshit is what´s
killing me, the second hand smoke while smoking in front of a building in Manhattan is not
going to cause cancer to a passerby while there is a gush of wind. Parents frowning on me
because I smoke in the car with my children makes me want to kill them.”
Next week in downtown Manhattan there was thousands of people with a Marlboro
cigarette in their mouth puffing as much smoke to the ozone layer as they could,
which didn´t brake by the way as authorities had warned.
They Chanted, “Marlboro Man!!” He created the smoking revolution.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
a
Another great prompt by https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2015/10/14/16-october-2015/
The telephone rang waking her up. She stumbled to the telephone, “hello?”
“I like it when you are sleeping in your panties.”
“Who is it?” She asked while looking at her black panties.
“I´m your friend, your lover.”
“You creep!” She said and hanged the phone.
She was about to go back to her bed when the phone rang again,
” stop calling” she said forcefully, “get a life.”
“Wave at me honey, got the balcony, the black van….. I´m here.”
Carissa put on her pyjamas and opened the door feeling the cold rain making her shiver.
Suddenly she felt a cold sharp object on her neck and a second later she was decapitated.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
A great prompt by FFfAW – Week of 09-15-2015 – 3 | Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers
“What?!!” The cowboy yelled to five unruly horses that didn´t seem to want to eat.
Three of them stared down, but then there where the rebels, named Adam and John.
Adam, stared right back at him without blinking and said, ” we´re tired of this bullshit.”
A roar of laughter came from the cowboy to which Adam replied, ” what´s so funny old
timer?”
“You just said Bull-shit and you´re a horse.”
John chipped in, “and you´re an abusive idiot.”
“For what John? Why is that?”
John gave a sight, “you make us run around cattle for weeks and weeks on end and we never
get a vacation.”
“You´re a horse for crying out loud.”
“I have feeling too you know, not that I can´t do the job but it would be much appreciated if my boss
would at least give me some dignity.” Said Adam.
“Hell yeah! We´re on strike now.” John followed.
That day the cattle stayed where they where. One more day of life thank´s to the two horses.
The challenge was suppose to be of 175 words, I went up to 190. Just 15 over. I´m just a little rebel
like those two horses.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
Dear Charly,
Would you stop masturbating please. Is not healthy. Just go out and meet girls.
Holy shit Charly, I said to go out and meet girls not be constantly thinking about
having sex with them, just go back to masturbating.
Stop with the curse words, you should expand your vocabulary. Also, stop riding
your motorcycle up the hills and doing weeles you can get hurt, don´t be such
a dare devil. You always seem to seek adrenaline. Focus on your studies. Charly !
I said focus on your studies, that doesn´t mean that when you go to school which is
not very often that you focus on the teachers with the intention of pissing them off.
Actually, get out of school, better get a job…. or not.
Stop with the parties, fist fights and more parties. Stop smoking….No! Don´t hit that
guy because you ran out of smokes and he won´t give you one. O.k then, just pick up
some cigarettes that are laying around on the pavement. Be a productive member of society.
Join the army or something, maybe they take you in. They did later on? Fuck, that
is really scary actually. Trusting you with a rifle…..
Hope everything goes well.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
Another great prompt by 11 September 2015 | Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple
Photo by: PHOTO PROMPT – © Jennifer Pendergast
“Honey this is so beautiful.” She said to her husband.
“You deserve the best for our second anniversary.”
“How is Jack and Mark?”
“Great assets to the law firm.”
He turned around, smacked her two times over the head with a crowbar,
knocked her unconscious and threw her body to the river, the water turning red as she
drowned.
“Two strokes for the two you fucked at the same time on our second anniversary you whore!”
He then took a cigarette out of his jacket and smoked his way down the river,
with a smile on his face appreciating the green trees.
102 words.
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
He thought he saw, but the truth of the matter is that he was a blind man.
He believed he was in control, in reality uncontrollable was his norm, but one
day something happen to the lost soul : A glimmer of light and there, God saved the lost poor soul .
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
Lost in a flood of Bourbon he sinks, he drinks but it seems the flood water levels never go down.
Quite the contrary, he´s now sinking more in them, they pull him down
and he can feel he´s chocking, no air, just despair.
Suddenly a revelations….. swim or die !
Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.
P.S. I did steal this idea from this man Richard Ankers | The Writings, but compared to his
writings it seems I have a looong and looong way to go. But was fun.
And it really has 50 words!!
Happy Friday everyone! Today I´m greeting you from Funny Blog Friday (#FBF), the first ever blog hop party, yeeehaaaa! Are you excited or what….No? your loss. Anyways I´m suppose to give free give aways things like maybe a free ebook, or some cool exciting thing about the internet social media world but since I´m pretty much a cave man when it gets to that, have no ebook nor have no idea much about apps or what gifts are out there I´m going to send you a Spanish paella if you want. You pay for the travel expense that is but the paella is free….makes sense. Now, what I can give you is a bunch of great funny people to read and as I see it I´ll give you the gift of knowledge which is much better than anything material, and my own little story that will hopefully make you cringe and the ending will make you cringe even more. So let´s get started then. The marching orders was to publish at 8 a.m Eastern time, that is U.S time which in my Eastern time is 2.p.m Spanish Eastern time, so had this holding on for about 6 hours and now I just hit publish so lets……….hit it!
Funny Bloggers already involved:
Victoria of http://angstanarchy.com/ she is the mastermind behind this.
Allana of White Girls Be Like… | “Cats, Twitter, Coors Light, & Everything In Between”
H.E Ellis of H.E. ELLIS | (insert pithy rejoinder here)
Alice of aliceatwonderland | . . . down the rabbit hole
Ben of Ben’s Bitter Blog | “We make bitter better.”
Jen of Properly Ridiculous | My Mostly Pleasant (Possibly Offensive) Perceptions
Lisa of Buddhaful Britt | C’mon Inner Peace… I Don’t Have All Damn Day
JC of JC’s Blog | Comedy. Satire. Other Things.
Elke of The Pretty Platform
Jack of The Things I See Up Here
Chicks A & E of Too Funny Chicks
Kevin of Trailertrashdeluxe’s Blog | Life is Not a Patio Furniture Commercial
Karilin of Life, Etc. | Anything can happen
Pouring My Art Out | Ripping out my guts for your entertainment
ALLAH IS GREAT !!
“Mrs. Martinez ? where would you like these roses to go?” Mohammed asked the lady in charge of running the Martinez bull estate.
“Over there.” She said in her sweet voice pointing towards the apple tree.
Mohammed, a very religious Muslim person had been living in Spain for the past five years. He was initially from Morocco, was a hard worker working day and night to earn as much money as he could and then wire it to his home country since he had twelve people depending on him, three wife´s and nine children. He often thought that if his children didn´t end up in some profession that would pay good like being doctors he would probably waterboard them after all the work he was putting in for them.
Five years ago he came across Julia Martinez. Julia was the wife of a well known bull breeder of Andalucia, a southern region of Spain. After having spend a hot summer day knocking on doors offering his services as a gardener he eventually encountered Mrs. Martinez. He was struck both by her beauty and warm heart, while all the other people had dismissed him in quite a rude way Mr. Martinez had inmediately told him that if he worked hard he could start work the next day and that he could stay in the guest house. When he saw the guest house he thought he had just entered a temple. Mohammed turned out to be a hard worker ,very good at his profession and Mrs. Martinez rewarded him kindly with meals she herself prepared and paying him well above the average salary that the rest of the gardeners around the area where making.
“Mohammed, I´m going to need you this afternoon. I know it´s Friday and you like to take your walks into town but I really need your help today.”
“I will be delighted Mrs. Martinez.” He said with a smile.
Mohammed, as a good religious Muslim that he was, was now having very conflicting thoughts. He couldn´t stop fantasizing about Mrs. Martinez body, her dark long hair, her curves….he even found himself repositioning his muscle, subtly flying under her radar while she was talking with him since he didn´t want her to see a tent down there. The worst part is that he was also having impure thoughts with the daughter of Mrs. Martinez, her seventeen year old daughter that was like the mother. Long dark hair, dark skin, miracle curves, perfect rounded ass and breasts, and worst of all he was masturbating to those impure thoughts.
He had gone to the local mosque to seek help for his sins. There he had met Ayatollah Houdini, who preached his anger towards the Spanish government who had sent troops into Iraq in support of the American infidels. He reluctantly talked to the Ayatollah about his impure thoughts and that he has also eaten pig, and food during the Ramadan. The Ayatollah assured him that if he followed his advice he would be free of sins. If he did so he would soon find himself in paradise with seventeen virgins, he could already see those pure virgins with their legs closed just waiting for him to part them as Moses had parted the Red Sea.
Now he was sitting inside the mosque while Ayatollah Houdini preached, “In the name of the only and great God, may you strike the infidels, may you hit them where it hurts them. They have killed our women and children, you should fight for Allah!!” The Ayatollah started his Friday sermon with the exact same sentence.
Mohammed raised his hand, the others raised their eye brows not really knowing why a person would interrupt the great Houdini in the middle of his sermon “Excuse me great Ayatollah, when you say strike back at the infidels do you mean only american infidels living in Spain or spanish people too?”
This guy is a bit slow, the Ayatollah thought. “Our great God says punish those who serve the infidels, punish the Spanish because they voted for a government that then went on to support the American infidels in their infidelic crusade against our Muslim brothers. I say….God say´s, spanish are as much infidels as american infidels.”
Mohammed´s moment of confusion and hesitation finally disappeared and know his mind was at peace. This night he and two others from the mosque would go on to put 100 kilos of TNT plastic explosives around the town. On his way to Mrs. Martinez estate he came across Maria, the daughter.
“Hi Mohammed.” Maria said smiling with her thick lips.
“Hi Miss. Maria.” he replied in kind becoming red in the face. Shit not again, he thought. The blood pressure was starting to make a certain muscle in his body to be noticed a bit too much in his tight black trousers
Maria, a smart seventeen year old girl, was aware of Mohammed´s muscle problem when she talked with him. She had long since gotten to the conclusion that he was going to be the one. She would loose her virginity to him, and she knew that he would never say anything since if word got out her parents would literally destroy his life and the life of his family back in Morocco.
“I need you to come to the barn to help me out with some things.”
“Not a problem Miss. Maria.”
Mohammed followed her, five paces back looking at how beautiful her jeans fit her round tight ass. As he walked he repositioned his muscle so it wouldn´t be notice, so he thought. They finally got to the barn.
“What is it exactly you need me to help you with?” Mohammed asked in his most courteous voice.
Maria walked up to him, her face inches apart from his. Mohammed was paralized, all his muscles where tense. She pressed her petite body against his, she could feel his muscle enlarging by the second.
“uuu” Maria giggled, “It´s very big, I knew it.”
Mohammed prayed to Allah so HE would give him strength to say no, but at the moment the only strength he was gaining was between his legs. Maria went to work on him until they both reached their climax.
“You know what Mohammed?” She asked as she was passing her index finger through his lips and sucking on them.
Mohammed still in a state of shock, managed to utter “What?”
“You are my first one.”
Mohammed couldn´t believe her. He told her she was lying but she then went on to explain why she had chosen him. At first anger burned him but then the great revelation came to Mohammed, I just popped the cherry of a virgin! Mohammed starting to jump up and down chanting “Allah Ackbar!” ( Allah is great) and quickly dressed himself and went running to the mosque to see the Ayatollah Houdini. He explained to the Ayatollah that he no longer had to commit the attacks on the infidels since God had already chosen him for paradise, he was one virgin down, so almost halfway there and hence there was no use in getting his hands bloody.
CRAZY LIFE 
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