I´ m moving to Alaska….I think

You heard right my flock
gonna start hunting like a hawk
tired of being broke in the city
surrounded by evil humans with no pity
don´t have money and I feel like I can choke
not able to pay for even a simple coke
so….I´m going “off grid” living in the bush!!
the last frontier
is waiting for me there
to live from the land
working with my hand
hunting,fishing,making my own cabin, my homestead!!…..damn,
now that I think of it…damn again

I just figured out I´m actually are a real cripple
but I do have more than one nipple, so that is good news.

Problems I just realised I have (can you believe I can forget the seriousness of them? Yep.)

-I have blood clots in both of my lungs which means
I have to inject myself twice a day to keep the blood flowing
and I don´t have a freaking heart attack glowing. I walk 50 meters
and I´m already tired. That is number one disqualification for living
in the bush. Damn

-I have cirrhosis in the liver…where else would it be, in the knee? You idiots…. Damn

-Half of my pancreas is not working so I would probably would be shirking
overall while building my cabin wall. Damn

There are more, but I´m getting bored. So screw it then my flock, I´ll stay
here with you, so you can rest in peace. I still can see Alaska on T.V while
eating a cheap big burger with a bunch of grease.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Vacation pictures

I say vacation pictures but I´m in most if not all of the pictures, family doesn´t want to be on the blog, they´re ashamed of me…na, kidding. I´m just a narcissist that doesn´t want to be associated to them or for that matter to anybody else, just me. So Here I am freezing in my parents houseFoto 318and reading and learning and….well, smoking. I did have a soft spot when I left the two wild beast that I have living with me, a soft spot of living them behindIMG_1470.Look! at that dude, look at his face that was the picture I took of him just as I was about to leave, he´s eyes says it all “Don´t leave me here with my crazy ass sister!!!!” Yep, the female that looks like she´s sleeping, she´s really not, like human females she´s very deceptive and manipulative. She even manipulates me, a human, which is quite depressing. Fast forward 4 hours later in the bullet train and I´m here ! DSCN2409 with my cool  yacht behind me. warning i do realise that in all these pictures I have the white hat, they have already have given me enough grief so don´t say nothing about it….or do if you wish, if you wish an ass kicking from me that is.

Back to beautiful vacation, this is the port of Malaga, in the south region of Spain called Andalucia which the Marrocans invaded and then we re invaded them and they returned back and then we returned back and on and on. And home to the Spanish Legion, so I know the city pretty good. Specially the bars to tell you the truth, never went on tourist vacation back then. But this time with the family, well it was quite nice to see other parts of the city. Like this Cathedral that I forgot what´s the name of itDSCN2416 Or cool little traditional  housesDSCN2415 So you might be like in the other photo looking at the sea and you turn around the camera and you gotDSCN2410mountains! This is in the waterfront also. There´s a castle up over there on top. Some king, since we have had a bunch of kings why do they expect me to know them all, who cares kings are kings and I´m just a humble man.

Of course the traditional Spanish food, watch out vegetarians!DSCN2419 He´s on fire but he tastes…damn goodDSCN2420 And this is the same restaurant as in this pictureDSCN2421 They´re very religious down there, so religious that the restaurant owner has even made a virgin for himself, or for the restaurant that is. DSCN2427 Down town Malaga, this could be compared to Manhattan´s 5th Avenue, where all the expensive shops are, jewelry, clothes, e.t.c. And at night as you can see there are arches made of light bulbs so it´s really beautiful to see this at night. I was there at night but not on tourist mode, and in case you where wondering those two guys with the yellow jerseys that burns your eyes ,yep, local police and they where not there for me just so you know. They just got in the way….. fuck again! You also have cool dudes sitting aroundDSCN2424 see, now I don´t have my hat. I stole his!

I was in a small town outside of Malaga which name will be reserved and after waking up I just had to walk 50 meters to this placeDSCN2444 having a good Coke with me, no whiskey in it I promise and no cigarette in my mouth? That one is weird by the way. You take a stroll and sit down near the palm beachDSCN2440 Or you can walk and see meet with the famous painter PicassoDSCN2431 He´s cool, as you can see he let me use a bit of his paint. And next to Picasso we have another churchDSCN2430. That would be to the right of Picasso or to the left as you are seeing this.

They actually made some t shirts there, they where inspired by my presence her they go  in sequence………………..DSCN2451 that´s what the ladies always tell me. And…………DSCN2452 and alsoDSCN2449. Hey what did you expect, we are Spanish we need our afternoon “siesta” no hurries no worries that´s are national anthem. Did you notice how brilliant we are? In the last picture they originally put 9.99 Euros, then crossed it off and decided to round up the thing to 10. And then added a freaky yellow face winking at you! Bastards, what a humour. Brilliant, no wonder Spain is the most competitive nation on not only the earth but the universe.

O yeah, I have some move tooDSCN2462 look at the freaking ball is going in the middle and don´t give me grief about having those stupid little barriers on the side so the ball bounces of and gets back to the middle I was playing with mommy but I beat her !DSCN2463 Even our cool little Santa got carried awayDSCN2456. The Southern Spanish humour, this actually was a Santa in a store for not the thin people you can say.

And ofcourse made a visit to my uncle DSCN2433and grandma and grandpa all by my mothers side. My uncle died on March of this year, so I had a moment with him and gave him a cool little poem. Plus we had to buy the gay flag, it was one of his request. He never called it the gay flag, he just said the flag with a lot of colours. Good man, R.I.P big man. Beautiful church isn´t it. You have to see the inside, and is right next to the beach.

So that was my vacation, happy days.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

New York city!(poem)

New York City ,
hold, now, just,hit it!

Transformation in the city
that ain´t creation

and, that, is……..
some sensation

black, white, and then some
hell, I can go on forever
forever more city New York, we gotta score.

That is what I call synergy,
Gotta be it.
New York City!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stay frosty gents and gentesses.

Angels of death(poem)

*just talking from the Spanish perspective certainly doesn´t happen to the American soldiers*

Society cast them aside
but they don´t care they take it with pride

Society hate the job, they think they are nuts
which in many cases you do need some mentality of suchs.

Society protesting their job, they just shrug and some think
what are they protesting for they are not going there,
they´re staying here not there
as it should be sitting in their comfy chair
they don´t need to know the real despair

Society screams at the politicians,
screams of agony
so the don´t go into that irony

They just laugh and shrug and say nothing
is non of their concerning
they just focus on one another
watching out for each other

They are cast apart
since like it or not somebody has to to that part

Society doesn´t think of them day to day
and it should be that way
But at the end of the day,
when the shit hit´s the fan
thing go bang!
bullets going zing zing
doing their thing

Society like them or not
they have no choice but to call them up.

And like angels they descend
like bastards they have to pretend to achieve the end
to terminate the threat and death is of no regret.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

From Spain with love (pic´s)

My countryimages-9 does look kind like a face doesn´t it? If you add Portugal into us that is. We should invade Portugal and make it Spanish just so the face is complete. And we would be remembered in history as doing something great, invading another country just so our country has a nice look from the sky.

The land of the wild bulls, right now the festivities are coming up, and my town is one of the first that has the bullfights. And what they call “encierros” which is when they let the bulls loose at 9.a .m and they run through the streets and ofcourse if my body lets me I´ll be in the mix. I´ve been seeing this and doing it since a young kid so I know bulls and they know me…..I should stop actually in the middle of the run and have conversation with one of them. So I´ll probably be one of these dudes this monthimages-10 and after the early morning running of the bulls we´ll have some great “paella” to recuperate our mangled legs and bodies and minds, that´s itimages-11 how in the world can people not like this type of food? Bunch of weirdos.  After the paella which we eat here between 2-3 p.m ofcourse it´s the traditional cigaretteFoto 286 Now that I´m looking at the picture I do have a boyish face, and I´m going to be 32, always get mix that I´m turning 33 and it probably has to do because 33 was when Jesus died, so since my life expectancy I´m not too sure about it ,I might as well check out at 33. Same age as Jesus that might help to get a ticket into heaven. Fuck, what a stupid face. I actually don´t look at myself a lot in the mirror. This is weird. I look at my teeth when brushing, at my face when shaving(not in this instance though) but not really really look. Freaking strange again. I´m actually promoting smoking, there´s already a bunch of ads anti tabacco so it just seems fair to be pro tabacco. Have to have variety in a democracy. And after by glorious cigarette a well Spanish person goes to the “siesta” or nap time so light out for an hourimages-12. That´s the Spanish way, no hurries no worries. And you should see the southern part of Spain, Andalucia, it takes out about one quarter of the map up over there, I know this place since I bounced quite a lot during these daysDownloadedFile the 24 year old version of me of I´m too cool to go to school and I´m a mean tough bastard. Well I was posted in Viator to the south east of Spain over hereimages-13 so I did spend some  time around there, or here images-14 in the Spanish Legion and not a lot to see to tell you the truth, it´s hot but the Southern girls of Spain are also very hot. And Andalucia, this southern region of Spain is the poorest one that´s probably why most of  the guys in the Legion came from there, not probably that´s just a fact really. So hot days, surrounded by men almost 24/7 and that´s not counting the deployments. So you can imagine the conversations what was the most talk about topic….pussy. We actually had some quite interesting philsophical debates about what type of vaginas where out there like  taste, colour, dimensions, the flaps of them, we covered everything. It´s all part of breaking a routine and the conversations got even worst if deployed. They should have gave us the Nobel Philosophy price for our understandings and findings. Good old soldiering humour when violence is the norm and death is real possibility. So what if the casket didn´t fit you, did they brake a leg, or cut it? There was actually a guy who said that if his legs where blown up, this conversations happened usually after some days passed after on attack that took half of the leg of one of my guys, which I still see once in a while and he´ll tell you that no regrets but we don´t talk about that, now he´s married and going on with his life working in the shop of his father. Anyways this dude, funny bastard, well he very seriously said that if his legs where blown off and he died he wanted the casket to be a small one in order to save money. Money? For what you idiot is the government who´s going to pay for your funeral not your family, but it seems we didn´t convince him. So bunch of dudes, put in a bunch of strange situations to say the least you might as well have fun with it, keep morale up. And sex, girls, the southern girls of Andaluciaimages-15yep, beautiful women down there. It is true that most of them are dark hair and skin, probably since the Marrocans invaded us some centuries ago they left a mark in the genes that has passed down. Plus at first when I got there I had no clue what the hell they where talking about, just the accent. It would be like a guy from New York to go to the deep South and try to understand every word of a tick southern accent. But there they are with the traditional flower on the head, it´s the traditional customimages-16 there you go, now as we say here you have to say….Ole! Although you don´t have to put your palms up like her if you don´t want to but the Ole! shouting it is mandatory. So from Spain with love I leave you with a little bitty of my country.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

My bucket list accomplished!

Lately  or maybe not so lately I see quite a lot of blogs which the people have their “bucket list”, the things they want to do. So I decided to instead of having a things I want to do, I´ll do a bucketlist of things that I´ve done that I  wanted to do and did.

-Study in the U.S, check. Did my highschool years there and a fruitful but brief sting in the university. A year an a half with a scholarship for English Literature. Hell, and I´m Spanish. Go figure a Spaniard studying English Lit.

-Have sex with an American girl, check. I thought she would be blond, blue eyes, be the prom queen, you know just like in the movies I saw back home in my small town, screwed up town of Spain. She eventually, well she looked like a troll really but what the hell. I did it, she was American.

-Live in a paradise island, check. I lived in Palma de Mallorca a beautiful island that is in the Mediterranean sea, beautiful beaches, girls, beautiful mountains, and this after I returned home from the U.S at age 19 and my parents basically disowned me for fucking up the scholarship. But I was young a full of energy.

-I´ve had a lot of jobs during my life, and most of them all had been manual type of jobs excluding the time I worked as a bell boy and then receptionist but one that I always wanted to do after I saw the movie “cocktail” by Tom Cruise was to work in a bar, check. Not really, I got there with very little money, had a friend that knew a guy that had worked in this bar next to the beach so he put a word in for me since I was literally with a couple of hundred dollars in my pocket and I got the job. And what a job that was. Man o maaaan, the women!

-Have sex with girls from different nationalities, specially Asian. check. I was quite the Romeo, not that I´m that old now I´m 31 but back then…weeehaaa. It was paradise, plus since I knew the owners of the clubs and I knew the door men, I had a science applied to picking up chicks. I actually think I did some mathematical equations so everything would be on mark and if I had jump to plan B, plan B was already waiting.

-Get out of control with booze. check. Always been a drinker. Actually in Spain is not, at least when I was growing up,now things have changed. But at my age, at 11 it wasn´t abnormal to toast with a little wine in my glass on some special occasions with the rest of the family members and friends of the family. Eventually it did get out of control.

-Be a smoker, check. Smoked my first cigarette at age 10 and by age 13 I was smoking 2 or 3 cigarettes a day regularly. Now I´ve jumped to a pack a day, but have reduced this from almost two packs a day.

-Join the army, check. It was never planned, I was getting out of control with the booze I was getting a bit bored of the same routine going to work as a recepcionist, had two friends back in the U.S that had joined the Marines after the attacks of September the 11 2001. So one day coming from work, I stumble upon a van that had written on the side “Ejercito de tierra” which to the Americans is just army. They had a cool t.v outside with tough looking guys fast roping off helicopters, shooting guns, the uniform looked cool with all the gear on it. It was a steady pay, I would get a bit of adrenaline, which I needed and surely it wasn´t going to be all that tough or routine the army. Just show up, shoot guns and then go back to sleep. Easy, just like Rambo. Got that one wrong.

-Getting deployed, check. First deployed to Iraq just 4 months since I first entered the army. Actually joined my unit there. Or the rest or my unit. All that cool gear, or at least what I thought look cool now it was a pain in the ass. Or I should say a pain in the back. Still have back problems from that period of my life. Let alone the living conditions in that fucked up place and worst was Afghanistan, that was real shit. Yet again I was in the Spanish Legion, picked the toughest unit my Spanish had, since if I was going into this I wanted to be with the best. So let alone being shot at or blown up, just living conditions, heat, cold, food and water depravation, but we did get a bonus of 3,000$ in Afghanishit, since they actually asked for volunteers to go there. And since I had been previously been deployed I thought I knew more than the rest of my platoon, they all wanted to go, everybody want´s to go when you train day in and day out for this. The analogy would be like a guy studying Literature, reading a lot, and never get a chance to actually write? That would be frustrating for writers right? So basically the same in my case. With some twitches here and there.

-Blow all your savings, check. After 4 years and a half I did get out of the army with quite a lot of dough, you do the math if I was deployed for 7 months in Afghanishit with 3,000$ a month, weehaaa. What do you do when you return from those places and then decide to get out of that institution. Spend like crazy.

-Be homeless, check. Great ways to do sight seeing of the city parks.

-Steel, check. Had to at the time to pay for my addiction to alcohol and basically some money with the whore i was with at the time.

-Go to jail, check. Like a hotel, food and board included.

-Almost die, check. Survived the army experience, which others guys didn´t and now I was lying in the ICU in “shock”, diagnosis, severe pancreatitis. Still fucked up with that thing. Spend 18 days in ICU and plus a month and ten day in general hospital. So almost two months wearing blue hospital clothes.

-Return to having a real relationship with my parents, check. They did find out I was in the hospital,sort of drop off the grid after army days, I didn´t call but seems the doctors took my i.d, and eventually the other two names listed there as my closest relatives well they where my parents so they contact them.

-Return to my old childhood home, check. Where do you think I´m writing this from? Yep, with my mother in the other room and one of my dogs farting right next to me as I write this. It´s peaceful I´ll tell you that. Living in the middle of nowhere where there are only cows and bulls outside my door, birds humming early in the morning, a bit isolated though.

-Not being broke, check The government has decided to give me a check for disability because first of my health issues and second because they saw I had been over two years without working. So there you go.Not broke anymore.

-Renting an apartment. check . Moving in October to my new apartment, 250$ a month and in Spain they call it with rent to buy. So I sign  a contract, put some much more money in advance and then pay the 250$ a month and it will be mine.

– Have my own laptop, check. Have finally bought it, 800$ the son of a b…ch. But here he is standing.

-Return to writing, check. A bad writer but we´re having fun with this thing, plus this wordpress thing, my free online university.

So mission accomplished, my bucket list done. Now I´ll start to make one for the future that looks brighter.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.


10 Things that give me brain sneeze.

The earth, round and majestic the kingdom of God. But there are days that I get brain sneeze from practically everything and anybody in this kingdom of the Lord.

1-Mother why in the world will you be running around the kitchen with a piece of cloth swinging it in every direction as a mad woman trying to hit the damn flies?!! Jesus, buy some of that killing spray and spray it in the general direction thereby preventing me from getting dazed by one of your un human swings that tend to end up hitting my head.

2-Woman, why the hell are you so complicated. This girl gave me her number, I didn´t force her. I called today and noooo, she can´t go out this Sunday, she will call me she says. So she says. She says bull sh…t. I´m gonna become gay. Go fags! Woman should be second class citizens, just sweep and clean and get a bean so we MAN can eat healthy, add a burger too.

3-Why do I get pancreatitis and I´m walking around with a freaking tube protruding from my stomach all the way into a little bag I have attached to the end of the fucking tube. It looks strange, I look strange, I look sick like a junkie. Fuck me.

4-Why the hell does my next door neighbour dog starts always barking at 4 a.m? What a bastard, just stop it and let me sleep since that´s the time I normally go to sleep, fucking asshole.

5-Can´t it be legal to kill some people that piss you off? There are a lot of us in this planet, who cares if I get rid off a couple or dozen.

6- Why don´t I fuck more, I use to be quite the fucker, I was good at picking up girls. I lost my freaking mojo. Fuck me.

7-Why don´t I get published. I´m the new Shakespeare in town. Fuck the publishers.

8-I´m tired of the stupid Spanish t.v programs, their soap operas and they last for the hole evening and late night. What´s wrong with my country? Fuck the Spanish t.v.

9-Why don´t I have enough money to buy a a computer that won´t take 2 years to load each page, why did the government fucked up so bad that we are at 27,2% unemployment and that´s the official number they put out go figure what´s the unofficial one, guarantee it´s higher. Fuck my Mackingtosh and the government.

10-America, or Mr. O bama, wama paronama. Just bomb the shit out of Hassan or whatever the hell his name is out there in Siria. If the Iranian´s get a little cookie about it, bomb them too. As a matter of fact Just carpet bomb the whole Mesopotamia who cares. They can´t seem to get their act together. They´re either bombing the infidel of the western modern world or their chopping each head´s off. Fuck´em.  I´ll re enlist back into the army at age 30, with a fucked up back, pancreatitis, tube protruding from my stomach. Won´t even need a rifle this time,I´ll just hit them with psychological warfare when they see me. I´ll hit them in the head with my little tube. What´s wrong with these people?Fuck me.

Nap, nap….wake up wild rider!

I´m a wild rider, here I come then I´m gone, easy comes easy goes and I have some foes, fuck it. Going ADD here.

Hold it, now……HIT IT!

You sleep? I happen not to do so, I´m just too cool, had to stay in school. So I return to the basement of my parents house for….34hours. Sleep 5. Want to get back to writing and the blogging world so I try to cram up as much as I can. Then I  get a call from the woman who is taking care of my uncle. She say´s he´d entered into a coma and doctors are saying he´s in a very difficult condition and chances are he won´t make it. Easy comes, easy goes wild rider get the freaking “bullet” train, nobody in the train I might add and it´s christmas time. Government subsidize the project, government didn´t manage to good the money from the tax payers, government is broke. Had to be the socialist government, not that the ones in place are doing that much better, pretty much the same. So get in train, read my cool new Stephen King book, fall asleep, nap nap, “Excuse me sir, whe´re in Malaga” says the stewardess 2 and a half hours later. Me thinking, what the fuck? Malaga, that´s 500 kilometers from my house, how did I end up here? Wake up Charly gotta get to the hospital you idiot.

Make my way to emergency room, patients are screaming in pain, family members are sobbing, some faint, people with blood everywhere in their clothes. I look, I see, I don´t give a shit. Seen worst in my life. The hospital is overwhelmed. My immediate job is to find the uncle. Walk from one nurse to another, finally find the doctor that has taken him in. “How is he doing?” I ask expecting the worst. “He´s stable.” He responds. You kidding me? When is this dude going to die. Put my whole life on hold, easy go wild rider and go to where he is lying down in some make shift screwed up bed. He looks at me and smiles, I smile back and start talking to him about the cool stewardess from the train. He smiles. He´s weak. He looks like one of the holocaust survivors…you know the cool little photo of those poor guy´s that are all bones? At least they could walk, this guy can´t even walk, skiny skiny skiny. I keep talking like nothing is out of the ordinary, while I quickly glance around me at the situation, know which nurses are going to take care of him, what is it they are putting through his veins, be alert when the little bottle runs out so I´ll go call them and let them know. Cause you better be on your toes with these people, not the greatest service. You Americans want universal health care…be my guest. Anyways I just keep talking and he smiles weakly. I should write a post on how to master the abnormal so it seems normal. You project competence and strength and the people around you will react in a positive way to it. On other things in life I just suck, but when it gets to critical situations, I just react, cool headed and get the job done.

Now, life back on hold, just spend the night there. Spend 24 hours in the hospital bed, or next to it sitting or standing. I nap for 30 minutes, wake up! In comes a nurse with some other bottle that contains some strange liquid. Nap nap, wake up! My uncle is shitting himself. He´s ashamed, I look at him and smirk and tell him my shit smells worst. Not that you can run out and scream in panic for someone to come and clean him, to many patients to little nurses and most of them are talking about anything and everything that is not related to their job. So wake up! I go fetch them for the one hundredth time, finally they come. Nap nap. It´s 9 a .m, mom comes in. I go back. 20 minutes bus ride from the hospital to the train station, 20 minutes from the train  station to my uncle´s home. Nap a little in the train, not too much cause I don´t want to miss the stop like happened yesterday. Get to his house,get the groceries my mother had written down on paper, get the wheel chair back to the place we rented it. No nap, go nap now. Wild rider is going to his uncles home for a nap and then this afternoon, hopefully I can read some of your blogs. And guess what, whoever reads this, if someone. I´ll tell you something beforehand. I actually take notes from the blogs I read. So I´m a wild rider-blog thief. Nap Nap I´m out of the grid.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesse.

Light´s out. Hiatus from writing.(poem/video)


*Disclaimer, this is a Marine Corps cadence, told you I had 2 friends in the Marines plus can´t remember any Spanish army cadence that I found fitting to write this poetry, mostly because our´s don´t rhyme! so I stole it from the Marines, then adapted it to my situation. Sorry U.S Marines us Spanish soldiers don´t have cool songs  like you, their cool and sad, but it does pump you up I´ll tell you that much. Another thing if you´re reading this is because my uncle is in terminal phase, so I´m off to Malaga again and I´ll be out of the internet world for some time. Any ways, here we go.*

Mama mama can´t you see!

What this corpse has done to me.

Put me in a trains chair,

Chop Chop and now I have no hair.

You told me to look presentable when I got there,

And there I´m here. To be with you and mourn with you.

Now lets quickly pin the medals on my uncle´s chest.

Tell you mama I did my best.

Let´s mourn and move along

To be strong is nothing wrong.

*I´m off on the train now to Malaga, southern part of Spain, beautiful beaches, the people are all broke there but they always seem to be happy. Not a very happy time for me but fuck it, it´s life. I figured I´d write a bunch of post and saved them as drafts, that way the if I have time to use a computer I´ll just hit publish and then try to read my favourite blogs, all of you,110 followers. That´s cool. Feel free to read some other older posts.It took me 4 freaking hours to find the category widget and learn how to and then put the posts in each category!!*


USMC cadence ”Mama can’t you see” with lyrics – YouTube this is the real cadence, and since it´s Christmas time even though they are from the U.S there are also Spanish soldiers still station over there. You won´t see them in the news but they are there. So if you pray, give them a pray and if you don´t just say a little thank  you(to all soldiers), but don´t feel sorry for them.


I threw my dog´s shit to the neighbour.

O.K here is me right nowFoto 82, I´m the culprit. I will admit that in an open forum, I prefer to  post this picture of me rather than some cool mugshoot of me. Which I have one by the way, not me exactly, but the police. I actually look pretty nice on it, the seargent actually showed it to me. But that´s an other story for next time.

Here is what I have to deal with every dayIMG_0953 And that is not a piece of chocolate.Like one of these, there are during the day approximately stored away around the garden eight of them. And they are not in the same area, one is here and the other one is there. Fucking dogs couldn´t they shit in one place so I don´t have to move with my fucked up back from point A to a long point B and then to C and on we go until we get to the letter H. So they are all scattered around the garden, it´s a beautiful garden but it´s big. I have to get the rake and then a dust pin, and put every shit in the dust pin. Moving slowly agonizing by my back and suffering the odore these shit´s provide as a way to pollute our precious earth. Then I have to take them to a specific place we have in the garden where all the shit is stored. And believe me it´s higher than Mount Everest that pile of shit. Then you grab a shovel and put all the shit into a huge plastic bag. Then you throw it away to the neighbourhoods dogs shitting container. Or you burn it, which is not legal but fuck it, that´s what I do.

So today, after all this agony I decided why move so much, why walk so many miles from shit to shit so I can gently put them in place where ALL the shit is stored. Screw it, I put three shits in the dust pin and I threw it over the fence to my neighbours house that was much closer than the shit storage room.

My neighbour has two tennage girls and one teenage boy. And I´m quite certain all three are the encarnation of the devil. They put the music loud up until 2 a.m, they bring their friends and scream until the sun rises, and he also has two other fucking annoying dogs that don´t stop barking. O.K my dogs can be annoying with their unhuman shit´s and farts, but they don´t bark until they blow out your ear drums. Plus he´s a dickhead, always poking his stupid face over the fence to see what the fuck I don´t know what he wants to see. It´s only me outside doing the garden, cleaning shits, there are no hot chicks here so what is his fascination with pocking his stupid little head over the fence….I don´t know.

So what I did, as said before, I threw all three shits over the fence to him. He eventually wasn´t very far away because ten seconds later I hear him scream my name. We already have gotten into screaming matches a couple of times, one in which I told him if he didn´t put the music down(it was 2a.m on a workday) I would jump the fence and beat the shit out of him. That did quiet him down. So he comes out saying “Excuse me!” my response “You´re excused”. He asks me why I threw the shit´s over the fence to his property, and I told him the truth. How dare he accuse me of such an awful thing, I never would do that. You have two dogs, don´t you? Tell your dogs to not shit so much you idiot. Screwby.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses, and beware of dog shits.