A new down

The sun is going down
I frown
No money at all
What will happen next month at the mall
Now my father after loosing my mother has his problems
Good to hear his voice, we are not sensitive type of personalities
but in our way we love each other, or at least he tries to be the best under the circumstances
after loosing his wife off 50 years, I do check on him every day to see
literally a falling dismay,
try to not bother him that much, he is not that type of such,
I hope he gets out of his pain, I know it is hard, I just knew my mother that
raised me for 37 years, I block it out and this was too much information
yet, who gives a shit. (Was this a poem?)


    1. Forgot.
      Do or die Semper Fi
      Had a friend in the U.S Marines, tough mother f….r, yet he saw what I did not saw in me, hence Semper Fidelis for this man.

    1. To tell you that yesterday he had to go to the hospital because of his bad eye now is getting worse do to the stress of loosing her first, then the job situation here in Spain. I´m preparing to loose him also. The poor man, he doesn´t show emotions like me but he took a bigger emotional hit than me. I just block it out. She was the one that raised me, I stayed with her for months and until the end but I don´t know why I block it out completely. I even forget to ask my father about her dog that he now has to care off, plus the house and all the little things and the big things as his job. Just a very stressful situation for the man, also for me, but again I have no clue why I block it out. When some memory comes to my head I consciously change the subject in my head. Very weird and considering this is the , was the most important person in my life.

  1. Charly, I know how hard it must be for you and your father right now. When my granny died it a very difficult time in my life, it took me several years to grieve her death. I miss her so much, think of her almost every day. Your father needs you and you are giving him the best you can, stay in touch like you are, that sends him the message you are thinking of him. Have you offered to stay for a couple of days? or is that too much? I ask because that is what my gramps needed when granny died. He just needed me to be there to do simple things for him. Sending my love Charly, keep praying, it always pays off in the end. Hugs 🙂 I know you don’t need my advice, so just take care of yourself! M

    1. I offer to stay with him yesterday since he called me from the hospital emergency. Seems that with all the stress the eye he already had bad is getting worst. He is scared shitless with the corona and said no, don´t kinow if that is the exact reason but he is who he is. Still love the man to death even though our conversations wouldn´t reflect much emotions.

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