3:16 a.m thought

Can´t figure this guy out. Watching Youtube videos of my father,
he a spy? He is this or that? Probably blindness is better.
I just know his personal life, quite intriguing also, yet
he paid for my time in the U.S that I fucked up and still helps me out
in certain ways. Lost the mother two months ago at exactly 3:44 a.m,
I stayed with her until she passed and then called him to his house.
What a pussy did I become now…. fuck me, how he still calls me is beyond anybody
but he does, tries his best. I´m a lucky man because of this great man or MAN.

Just a thought, but I did get the hour and minutes right.

The dumbest thing I have ever heard

I am lucky since I have 6 dollars left in the bank, my father now without his
wife of 50 years is working his but off to keep afloat. So bad economic situation
for me,my father and millions of people plus our own personal family tragedy of mom

I´m chatting with this girlfriend of mine I´ve known for 8 years, now she is
happily married and working a lot. Yes ladies, I do have physical girlfriends
without sexual relationships. Anyways first thing I ask her is “how is your family
and you doing?”
Her answer” I´m very stressed out with work”

Millions and millions of people without jobs, deaths everywhere, I´m personally fucked
economically don´t even have money to recharge my pre paid shit phone so can´t talk
with father(not that our conversations are long but at least to know how he is doing
both mentally,physically, economically), I eat once a day, e.t.c crying you a river.

She completely skipped all these things.
Never once mentioned her family, it was as usual ” I I I I very stressed out with too
much work”. I was about to slap her, really? That is your stress? I know you were born
rich and had everything for you, nothing against it obviously and still love you to death
but what a fucking response that one.

Hope she doesn´t read this, since my response to her was very kind actually and as always
knowing how her brain works, she is a good person but childish at her age so what do kids
always do, it is always about ME and ME I only think about ME, and she is 34 with a kid of her own,
very nice husband and her very stressful work living in a pretty nice house to say the least,
My response, ” well I´m sure you´ll do fine with your job, you have always been very good at it”
I´m the one fucked up economically, family wise, and telling her that to the dumbest response
a person can give me in this situation.

You´re a tough motherfucker

Those where the words my father told me when mother passed away this
past Sunday the 14th. He is the real tough motherfucker, I think I´m tough
because apart from having been in the Spanish Legion and all the fights I get in
this shit town, no I´m not tough. This man, my father was born after the Spanish Civil war,
obviously poor, and he made his journey to greatness. That greatness would include being married
for 50 years to my mother. Although as my mother told me, but there is a descerpancy on the story
from what my mother told me to what the “official” version of my father, he basically was
driving in a shit car of the 60´s and just went off the little trail and ended up in the
bottom of a little pond with my mother, and then mother married that guy!!!!
Just little details of their life, now his life since he doesn´t have the support of mother,
(I did stay with her in the hospital 9 days until she died, at exactly 3. 44 a.m,
she probably died earlier since she was already cold, no rigamortis but cold, so it wouldn´t
be that long that she expired) but it seems this tragedy came out some remedy, we talk often,
which is weird talking to my father to tell the truth, I know he loves me but the conversations
where this
Me calling and him answering “You o.k?”
Him-“good, I pass you to your mother”
Thats about it, and you can´t expect a man like him to give you more. You do know he loves you,
that´s the bottom line.
Now…. I do believe my mother knowing she was going to die, did give hime instructions,
“this is who your kid is and this is how you are going to treat him. That is my law”
Maybe not the exact words but she probably said something to that effect I´m sure knowing these two.

I wish

I don´t want to hit the horse head over and over again (probably made that phrase up),
I wish to tell my mother my crazy things like going to the supermarket and having
a very deep discussion with one lady about me not wearing a mask. I forgot, and
according to the cashier it is 500 euros the fine. So out I got, when I say “out I go”
it does mean they pissed me off so I usually use not very nice names. The big guy behind me?
He was laughing while I´m telling this person that wants to call the police for me not having
a dumb shit mouth piece, telling her how the Oranizacion de la Salud ( the so called expert of the U.N)
have now, now, not earlier….. now, have puclicly anounce the masks don´t work. Here I am standing
with the cashier and this other woman, why the hell are always women that go try to find a weak point,
or just call you out in this situation for not wearing the mask. I did told her at first that I´m too cute
to weare a mask, that didn´t settle well with her obviously, and I just kept talking BS but in a nice way.
She says she will call the cops, I got comfortable then and told her not the Local Police, call the
National Police or Guardia Civil since they are more legit than the Local Police that in this town they are
a corrupt bunch of bastards. That is why I did write about it for the local newspaper and two weeks later
15 of them where gone. They say they send them to another town… so if that is true I´m sorry for the other towns.
I still can´t move my left hand after this mother fucker LOCAL police punched me and me hitting him back
but to what? His little shit body armour so he didn´t notice nothing,
I was part of a group to get rid of them is the point.
Now they can read and enjoy.
Try to follow my ADD…
Plus call my father that is a Captain of the Spanish Civil Guard, that was BS though, my father is not a Captain
but he does work with higher ups, much higher ups than a Captain.
I wish I could tell this story to my mother ,church it up as always, but who are we kidding?
She knows me and she knows that I can become a bit agressive in this situations. A freaking mask this one….
I just wish I could hear mom luagh at my dummy things, plus I am quite the story teller in a good way that is,
making what happens to me funny, or at least make her laugh at me. It is quite interesting my day to day things.
I just wish she was still alive, and since she knows I can take care of myself in the worst type of scenarios,
she just laughed at the little things, and you had to see me trying to put the gloves on… Jeeeesus, what
an odysey that one.
(Woke up at 3.a.m and now is almost noon, seems like a life time, out we go yo gigolo)

Bear hug

Today Today is Saturday… I´m just singing along as I write
with might! waaaaaasaaaap, holy shit.
Bear hug, it was interesting, my father came today to the hospital, see mom,
we had quite the conversation. I actually thought that this tragedy was going to make us
more apart me and my father. You got to understand he is not the “cushy cushy” type of guy,
I actually don´t remember him in any of my infancy days, he was always working and providing
for me and mom. That right now is laying on the bed and I still have no clue if she is in a comma or
what the fuck is going on, how long is she going to last, nobody knows but here I am with her.
Anyways Manoyaise… I thought that rhymed, got off track I have ADD but multiplied by a hundred.
BEAR HUG, so father comes in he looks at my mother in the bed so I inmediately ask him about his job
so he doesn´t concentrate too much on mother, we speak, bla bla balaaaa! Actually what he does as
a profession and his knowledge is very fascinating, I have no clue how I came out this fucked up.
So we say good by and he gives me a BEAR HUG, first time in my life. Kind of weird for us both,
he actually stoped patting me on the back, pulled back and looked at me like saying ” did I did this?”
And me, just with a smile on the face, just told him “we´ll talk later I´ll keep you updated about mom”
So at age 37 going on eleven, is the first time my father huged me. Interesting.
Not saying nothing bad about him that is, it is just not in our nature for us two to have that
“cushy cushy pussy” type of relationship. I know he loves me, he might not be the most expressive man
but I know he first loves my mother and has sacrificed his job for her to be in the best hospital
and second he started talking, or suggesting about us, me and him (he is the only family I have left now)
keep in contact and talk and e.t.c. I just smiled, gave him a pat on the back and really just
a discovery of this side of my father I never knew.

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

The things that matter

Sorry for that one, it stuck in my finger-mind, I must be blind… hold it

Things that matter, my mother is probably ashamed and desgraced by my new name phrase,
but even when she tries or not, not really sure actually so that came up fantasically,
She is what matters, regardless of anything going on in my Crazy Life.

Get out and fuck this shit, Jeeeesus. I´ll talk to her later. Things that matters.
Dad you are the King also, what a cheese post…no wonder.

Interesting conversation with mom

Sunday Sunday, that time of the week to sit down with my great mother a.k.a Rambo or
also goes by the name Al Capone and have a deep conversation.

This happened this morning when I got here for breakfast.

Out of the blue…” I love John Wayne.”

Me-thinking, where is she going with this this time, finally I say
“He´s old and outdated.”

Her-“He was the true cowboy, riding on his horse, smoking his cigarette,shooting
guns, crossing the prairies with all the snow and sun against him and with all those

Dad chips in, just to make everything more of a normal conversation
” He didn´t even leave the Hollywood studios for that.”

Mom ignores him and looks at me, now my heart beat starts to increase and she says
“What do you think?”

Me- Silent

Her “Would you talk!”

Me- ” There was also gay cowboys.”

Her-“There are no gay cowboys. I have watched those movies since a little girl and they
were not any gay cowboys.”

Me- “How do you know?”

Her- “Because there just weren´t”

Me- “So you have no basis for that argument.”

Her- Slap on my head followed by “I said so, so I said so. Shut up and eat.”

Me- “You are a bit of a dictator, no, Castro?”

Her- “You want to eat lunch today?”

Me- Silent.

Jeeesus, nut job of a family I have. Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.

Dungeon Prompts: Family

Family is an abstract melody
There is the two people that made King parody
But since an early age
He saw little of one since he had to be working hard in another stage
Leaning on the two people that made him has always been elusive for this writer
Since at a very early age he went out into the world to screw it up and also to be a fighter
Much later on this writer rejoined with the two that made him
And he had no choice but to lean on them since things were in a dungeon quite grim
He discovered that after years of a lot of disparity between them
They would be so generous to take him in so he could recharge and return
The two who made him from an early age had tought him independence was life´s blessing
So after the recharge out he went again to not try to do much of a messing
He realized they loved him very much
But as good family they have to let this writer live his way as he thinks is his lust
There is never a touchy feeling going on in this family of one
That he knows and doesn´t expect a pat on the shoulder constantly so he goes on the run
The run of life
With all life´s strife
But the worst for this writer and generally a human being
Is to be dependent on those who made him or any type of making
And those who made him in their own way are proud
Even though they made not say that out loud

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses,

What are sons for….

So yesterday I swung by my parents home, had a good meal with them
but that was before thisemboscada, yep
child labour. That´s my use in this family of mine, well not that you can call me a child,
let´s say.. force labour. So this was early in the morning, and mind you I have a broken
ankle, bad back, my lungs are filled with nicotine, I coud actually write a post about how
screwed up my body is, and that would be a long post. So after this, I was lead to
this!DSCN2646Cleaning  out one room in the second
floor of the house. Seems like little? Hell no, to the right of you is more junk they want to either
give to friends, sell, which I volunteered to sell with my shady connections to which my mother
since she knows what connections are about in my past gave me….well there is no other way to
put it, she just bitch slap me basically, lookDSCN2647she seems
as if she´s doing something…..don´t let her fool you, in that second I was saying something or just
fooling around taking a photo maybe and when she saw I wasn´t helping out, well out came the “Rambo”
in her and
Foto 274look how I ended up. By the way you saw all the junk
to your left in that pic? A lot of things to throw away. They want to sell my childhood home, so that´s that.
Anyways after my bitch slap I decided quickly to pick the first thing I saw laying down on the floor
DSCN2651That has to be at least 50 years old,
it´s a relic. Actually good new is that most of the things I´m the one who will keep them,
if I´m able to get an apartment for myself and not live with these two crazy´s I have as roomates
who are now snoring like pigs after a night of, a lot of
bubly bubly alcohol. So here I am at work, no shoes a cigarette in mouth, but working never the less.
Then I carried this baby outDSCN2652of the room.
I remember me at age 15 playing with that thing. And don´t ask me exactly what it does.
I just know it vibrates So after a morning of pure hell, a morning of being mentally and physically
abused, then I had this face when everything was done. I don´t know why people go to the university
really, we need more skilled labour. I should write a post about that.

.DSCN2650So this is me because as they say
em3980_pr0000096472_1So she was happy as you can see by my face.
You better wish she is I guarantee you that. After all I´ve been through life, this person is probably
the only one that scares me to almost death. So in my case, what are son´s for….slave labour.
Forget about helping the refugees, help me!

Stay Frosty gents and gentesses.